Midlifecrisis

Sorry about the caps.
I have a question; how do I "let it go"?????
You hear that a lot too?
"You need to let it go and...."
Ugh HOW???
People have said that my entire life.
"Letting go is like forgiveness, you do it for yourself, not them"
Okay...HOW??? To both things, how do I forgive and let go.
I have a lot of pent up resentment, and anger, it comes out in bad ways.
Worse when I am on PMDD.
Omg.
So, how do I get rid of it, or "Let it go"?
It's not like it is a ball, or rock, or broken toaster. It is in my frigging head and heart.
My mom accuses me of being mad all the time. YOU THINK!? Not only did you program me to belive that none of what I wanted was possible, but you also made me your care taker from the time I was 16!!!
How do I "Let go" of everything you have said and done to manipulate me into being your whipping child until you realized the one you babied and preened turned into an @$$.
This is the only place I know where I can find answers, so please, let me know how to let go.
#resentment #Depression #Midlifecrisis #anger #Grief #Pain #forgive

#Depression #Midlifecrisis

I am 48 years old and have #Depression #Anxiety #Perimenopause #Midlifecrisis

#Midlifecrisis #sportscar #ihaveembracedbeingbipolar #midlfeandbipolarsti #a4hournap #buythecar #smallquestionforbiganswer #takeabreathandtrytoenjoy

#Midlifecrisis #sportscar #ihaveembracedbeingbipolar #midlfeandbipolarsti #a4hournap #buythecar #smallquestionforbiganswer #takeabreathandtrytoenjoy

I’m swimming in regret. I’m 37 and childless and not married. What I always wanted more than anything was to be married with a family of my own. I don’t see it happening now, and I constantly think about the past opportunities I had to make it happen, but I was too blind to see. I used to have a career, I walked away from it. I’m the most unstable I’ve ever been. I’m in a relationship with a man who doesn’t want to marry, and also we fight all the time. I’m afraid I’ve squandered all opportunities to achieve my dreams. These thoughts keep me up at night. These thoughts keep me in bed today. How did the first half of my life pass by so quickly. #CheckInWithMe #regret #Fear #Midlifecrisis #Depression

Throwing away years of experience practical –
and what came somewhat natural –
for a new, raw, unbridled passion.
A potential career change cash-in.
I’m a noob.

I’m naturally good at so much,
but I doubt I’d ever earn a crust,
so I’m having to invest again.
Hard work and due diligence.
I’m a noob.

Please let this be more than a mid-life crisis –
than again searching for whatever the prize is.
My heart can betray so easily –
pushing hard towards land and then out to sea.
I’m a noob.

I want what I do to be a blessing,
without the anxiety or daily stressing.
I’m a batter who can bunt or hit the fastball,
but show me the curve and I’ll swing and fall.
I’m a noob.

I want to be known in my new field.
I want to eat of the fruit it yields.
I don’t want to get complacent
on the journey of sweaty competence.
I’m a noob.

Please help me, as the uncharted is somewhat scary,
but that’s how you discover new paradise – so they tell me.
The only way I’m ever gonna turn professional
is to invest in the process and learn it well
while I’m a noob.

© Mark Bryant 6th June 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#unemployment
#Midlifecrisis
#Career
#learnitwell

Proverbs 22:29
Do you see any truly competent workers?
They will serve kings rather than working for ordinary people.

I am sure I was born depressed. I spent much of my life wondering why people value it so much. I’ve come through a lot as we all have, I’ve enjoyed parenthood and felt rewarded and humbled whilst a teacher . I love Hip Hop with a passion and feel things intensely. My main problem is I don’t really want to live most of the time although I’m not suicidal. I’m fed up with medication, meditation and positive affirmations. They all helped once but it’s so tiring going against your default settings , constant battle fighting negativity for the sake of others so you don’t bring them down with you. Fuck it’s so tiring!! #Depression #Midlifecrisis #tired