narcissism

#Trauma #CPTSD #Murder #Suicide #familyestrangement #narcissism #qaly #daly #medicarepanelquotas #brokenmentalhealthsystem #brokenmedicalsystem #medicalgaslighting #patientabandonment #uninhabitablelivingconditions #panasonicbatteryplantdesotoks #elderfinancialabuse #panasocibatteryplantdesotoks #brokenhealthinsurancesystem #abandonmentandrejection #discardedelderly #FamilyScapegoat #ajoblikelife #MurphysLaw #smearcampaign

youtu.be/oZ2fIjaIeD0

What is with people? They see you only through the lens of a diagnosis? Couldnt I be doing well in my hobbies and life because I have worked hard and gone through pain and self-reflection and found my strength to get to this point? I was told I am in a phase only. Manic. As I was doing way better than that person at our common hobby. And had upcoming things that she is unable to do. Wonderful accomplished things. And have been joyful. I unfortunately reacted some. And that I guess is what she wanted to confirm that I am crazy. Then she has to tell someone I will need taking care of later on. People cannot do things themselves. They have to put you down and label you not ok or sick. Then I see her a few days later and she talks to me like nothing happened. How to handle this? And why do people do this? #Bipolar #Manic #Stigma #labeling #narcissism

I didn't call my Dad on Father's Day. I forgot to but mostly I didn't want to. I said I would call the next day, but I started dissociating, and just rotting in my bed not wanting to leave. I feel guilty for not calling and the longer I leave it, I know the conversation is gonna be more uncomfortable. I know that he will make me feel worse about it, he always does.

I have recently started to deal (mostly think) about the relationship I have with my Dad. I'm scared. I don't want to deal with this. I don't remember ever seeing my parents as perfect. I understand that they are flawed, they are human. But I worry that I truly don't know my Dad. I try to but he doesn't let me. My mum thinks my dad shows traits of narcissism, when I read about it, I just shut down. When I try to think of him, I can’t seem to remember anything. I was upset with my Dad and I told him and I said that I will tell him soon. Then my grandmother died, his mum. Everyone wanted me to just tell him wants wrong so he didn't have to deal with not being close to me and losing his mother at once. I was going to tell him why, but before I could my auntie told me that I should be more grateful that he is in my life at all. I know she is just projecting her own issues onto me, But it still made me feel guilty and like I'm being dramatic. When I tried to tell him, I just couldn’t do it, the word got trapped, and then I couldn’t even remember what I wanted to say. I just started to cry a lot. I every time I'm around him I feel like I become an obedient child again.

I'm trying to write him a letter my counsellor says this might be a better way. But when I try to I just freeze and forget want I wanted to say. I want to at least tell my Dad the problem so that maybe he can change like my mum did. But I feel so unable to. I worry constantly that he might die - this is mostly irrational. But I worry about not being close to him before he goes, I love him but it hurts.

I'm also upset with him because it was my birthday not long ago, I just turned 21, and he didn't call. I was anxious about talking to him so in some ways I'm glad he didn't but it also really hurt me that he didn't call. Feels like he is punishing me. He avoids explaining why he didn't call when I asked and instead told me he got surgery on his eye recently. He does this often, when he is angry with me for something he tells me something bad that has been going on with him and then never mentions it again, even when I ask.

Any advice would be appreciated

#rant #daddy issues #narcissism #Family

My father and I shared a close relationship for 48 years until my mother died. I'm an only child. I had a difficult relationship with my mother due to her aggressive personality and insistence that she was always right. She died 7.0.0.5 years ago and while she was dying and immediately afterwards - unbeknownst to me he established a relationship with a woman who became my mother's best friend while she was dying from pancreatic cancer. He didn't tell me about this new relationship until they had already become committed to each other. My father always had narcissistic tendencies, and his new woman (whom he married a year to the day after my mother's funeral) indulges him in these tendencies to the point where he became insufferable. I haven't seen him in seven years or spoken to him in six. It is on my heart to do something about this, but because I intrinsically knew he was lying in the beginning I couldn't accept this new relationship. Since then I have found out that he has repeatedly lied and defamed my and my wife's character to many people, while trying to contact me maintaining that he doesn't know what he's done wrong.

Is there any point to trying to re-establish contact with my father at this point?

#narcissism #manipulation #Lying

It’s too much but they won’t stop. I can’t handle it. I can’t take it. What if they’re right to say that’s my experience. What if they’re wrong? What if it’s true to the narc mom I had. Was she really that bad? Of course she is, but I don’t want her to be

Someone help me with this I can’t take it it’s too much. Why do I have to live my life this way with her. WHY?!

#narcissism

As someone with anxiety I’m always in my head. It’s a battle to make sure that I don’t let myself explore the outer fringe too much. But when you’re the victim of emotional abuse…it’s hard! Because the abuse is compounded by the same you feel. I try and try and get torn apart…the shame of having to beg, to be telling someone you’re trying and you are a good person. It’s a disgust in myself like I have never felt!! Anyone else experienced shame during abuse? #Shame #Abuse #narcissism

No one would have suspected my mom was a horrifying abuser. She was so good at keeping up appearances and putting on a fake front that no one suspected her as an abuser. When she died, they all cried and lamented on her being a "good mother". Actively choosing to look the other way when abuse presented itself

This is why victims don't come forward, Abusers are very smart and crafty. They isolate their victims and unleash their fury behind closed doors. But in the public eye they make sure they look great. So when you come forward, they will dismiss you. Especially in cases of child abuse

If a child or teenager or anyone comes to you about abuse, don't think "no way that person is an abuser, they are so nice!". Narcissists live on this treatment. Choose the victims side and listen. Many evil people live in a facade and fool you. Even if they don't act abusive in front of you or towards you, if you look close enough, you can see through their BS.

#Abuse #narcissism #Trauma

For the first time in a while, I feel a calm from the inside. I got some new books on self help, one of which is an art therapy workbook. I also made a plan of action pertaining to my mom's husband. I'm holding him to come through with his promises and I'll do my part, but I refuse to shoulder all of the effort. And what I didn't know was that narcissistic fathers tend to discard daughters at a certain age. I'm still learning to navigate through this, but I truly am ok right now. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #narcissism