Who hasn’t been hurt by life events? Probably nobody. Maybe you or someone you love has suffered a heartbreaking loss, a debilitating injury, or a serious illness. No matter the circumstances, deep wounds can lead to anger, resentment and cynicism.
Physical and emotional burdens can accompany our painful experiences prompting serious questions: “Why is this happening? How can I forgive the fact that my child has cancer? What has our family done to warrant such unfairness? Yet clinging to bitterness sets us up to pay emotionally, and spiritually.
We live in an imperfect world, and sometimes forgiveness feels impossible. Whether we lose a job, endure a divorce, or face a critical diagnosis, we constantly encounter unresolved conflict in need of forgiveness.
When we are able to make peace with the reality of this imperfect world, we essentially forgive that reality for being what it is. One could say that we agree to coexist with imperfection by not letting it consume us.
To forgive has many emotional and spiritual implications. It also means different things to different people and is a central value in many faith traditions. However, to forgive does not excuse the loss or harm done but does help loosen its grip on the recipient of that loss or harm.
In my experience, to forgive is to shift from anger to empathy and to a new outlook on life. This releases us, not by ignoring the rough passages or pretending everything is fine. Instead, it opens a path to coexisting with life as a whole rather than focusing on a single painful event.