Postpartum Depression

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Support group interest

Hello, and Happy New Year!

I am in the process of setting up a virtual support group for expecting and postpartum moms. The Mamas Haven will be it's name and it will be held weekly. You can drop in whenever you need support and connection. Who would be interested in attending? Please comment below if you are interested! I will add you to a list and invite you when the group is up and running!

#PostpartumDisorders #MentalHealth #OtherMentalHealth #PostpartumDepression #PostpartumAnxiety

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is EntrancingOwl7143. I'm here because I just had my 4th baby and have a history of severe postpartum depression and anxiety on top of being diagnosed with major depressive disorder not pregnant, and I’m just trying to find healthy ways to cope before it gets to bad.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression

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A thought. A story. A reason.

I was 19 when I was pregnant with my first child. I made the choice to keep my baby and find a way to raise them alone. The second one I couldn't.. I feel grief. I wonder about all the what if's. I still cry. I still scream. I still feel guilt, but I made the best decision I could for myself and my child that I already had. They didn't need to lose their mother from complications. I got PPD with both of them.
#Abortion #MentalHealth #physicalhealth #Depression #Anxiety #PostpartumDepression

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To all the moms

Hi everyone. I am a mother of 3 girls, ages 10, 12, and 15. I suffered with postpartum depression after my 2nd, and I don’t think it every went away.. if that’s possible? I’m looking for a support group to talk about some of my feelings through motherhood and see if anyone else can relate. I feel like it’s almost like grief, like I had babies and I was needed, and then I woke up one day and they were all grown and my babies were gone ☹️ I love my girls, and I love seeing them grow and learn and thrive… I just feel like a bit lost. It’s almost like I’ve been trying to catch up and I can never get caught up because I don’t want to leave our old life behind? I don’t know, This might not be making any sense at all.. it’s hard to put words to.

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Support Group For Our Kids?

Does anyone know of a place where children of mentally ill parents can talk to other kids? I had a year long psychotic episode when my kids were four and six. My symptoms started when I was 36, before that I just had postpartum depression and maybe 2 years of cyclothymia. I had nothing until I was in my early 30s. My kids dad and I had a very rough start to coparenting and divorce and joint custody and extended family support after I got out of the hospital. It was a difficult two

months, especially for my younger one. I was a stay at home mom and very close to my children. Their dad had his own emotional problems after my second was born and was acting threatening so I didn’t push him to bond the way he did with my daughter. It took time for all of us to adjust to him being the primary caregiver while I got back in touch with reality. I can parent when I’m not stable, but I can’t do it when I’m psychotic.

We’ve talked about it and the kids are older now (9 and 11) and doing well, but that can’t have been easy. At this point my ex and I are amicable

and have been coparenting smoothly for four years. We may not agree on everything, but we communicate well and agree about the children. We just naturally fell back into a pattern of me being primary caregiver when I stabilized.

Every time I find a story about kids growing up with a parent who acted like I did it’s a complete disaster and the parent never gets better. But most mental illness stories aren’t as extreme

as bipolar one with psychotic features if the parent is doing well.

I’ve been looking for stories similar to what my kids went through so they have someone to talk to and realize the aren’t alone.

Anyway if any one knows of a group for children of mentally ill parents to be able to talk to other kids I’d really appreciate it.

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Within the dark cloud: My journey of Postpartum Depression and Birth Trauma.

From the moment your baby is born, they are held by many hands - yours, your partners, nurses, doctors, family members - but who holds the mother?

Your baby is cared for, checked on, tests given -

but who checks on the mother?

I was forgotten.

They say that from the moment your child is born, you are instantly connected and in love - but what happens when you only get less than a minute to hold your baby and by the time you finally do you feel empty?

You see, my son was born a month early, due to my medical condition he had to be - my body, the place that was supposed to keep him safe, wasn’t. He was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck twice - I held him in my arms for less than a minute when they noticed he was having difficulty breathing and then he was taken into the NICU. Two moments that will live with me forever are me sitting in my hospital room without my baby, and several days later the empty car seat in the back as my husband and I drove home because our son wasn’t able to leave NICU yet.

The entire experience did something to me, it changed me, and with each passing day I became less of the version I’ve always known myself to be.

Postpartum depression hit me hard. I felt like I was in a room, surrounded by people, screaming for help, but no sound would come out. How is it that my mind was constantly racing with thoughts, but my voice was silenced? I didn’t even feel like it was my life that I was living, as if I was watching a movie, my life was playing on the screen, but I wasn’t truly living it. Most days, it felt like work to physically lift my body out of bed, let alone breastfeed (which I pressured myself into because society has told me that I’m an awful mom if I don’t), hold my baby, eat, or even drink water - I just wanted my bed to swallow me whole and relieve me of this overwhelming sense of nothingness. I felt certain that my family would be better off not having me around, my dark messy cloud pouring rain all over them.

I’m not sure what was worse, the hollowness inside of my body or the excruciating guilt from having this amazing baby and not feeling like I could connect to him. I’ve spoken to many women before, women that shared my struggles, that have experienced the very thing that I was and where I showed them compassion, I had none of that stored for me. I was a failure.

I was given a lot of well-intentioned advice: Go for a walk, play with your baby more, pray, go to church, find a hobby, just wake up and choose to be happy - but what no one understood was that I was drowning and no amount of forced positivity was going to remove me from the dark hole my mind crawled itself into. All of this advice that was given to me, any and everything except for what I really needed which was Zoloft and talk therapy. Those were the things that I personally needed, but there is so much shame around mental illness and medications that I deprived myself of the help I needed because I was more worried about the opinions of others. Now, I was failing myself.

By the time I had my 6-week postpartum checkup, my depression had gotten so bad that I was pretty sure that at any moment I was going to be eaten alive from the inside out, by the monster it had become. I finally decided it was time for help and completed the survey provided to me as openly and honestly as possible, and I’m so glad that I did.

I didn’t start my medication on a Friday and feel like a brand-new woman by Saturday - this was not a get better fast process, it was going to take time and patience. At first, it felt like I had the flu, and I was suddenly more tired than ever, and I really wanted to give up. But the first day the medication began to work, it was as if my vision was suddenly clearer. I slowly started to find it easier to get out of bed, and with every day that passed I began to feel lighter and laughed more. My senses were heightened - the air was crisper, the sun shined brighter, and I was able to look at my son and feel so greatly connected to him, and revel in his warmth and scent. I was beginning to feel like me again. I was beginning to feel like a whole person.

When I look back at that time, there are a few things I wish would have been different:

I wish that mothers were checked on before their 6-week appointment, and definitely more than once. We need to hold the baby AND the mother. Our bodies just went through this earth-shattering journey, our lives are drastically changing, we’re sleep-deprived, hormonal, and we are no longer living for ourselves - we need to be held.

I wish that there wasn’t a stigma against mental illness and medications, we should all be able to openly get the help that we need. Sure, things like exercise and sunlight can be helpful, but they are not the only solutions, and they definitely weren’t the only solutions for me.

I wish that I gave myself more grace - why do we never grant ourselves the same love and care that we do to others?

Lastly, I wish that there wasn’t so much societal pressure to be perfect. Does anyone do everything right? We’re all flawed. No one can do everything right 100% of the time. It’s not possible and putting that pressure on ourselves to be perfect is only setting us up for failure (admittedly, I’m still working on this one).

I am not a perfect mom or person; I’ll probably never be and that’s okay - sings to myself “I can see clearly now the rain is gone…”.

#Depression #PostpartumDepression #MentalHealth #MentalIllness

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No help today 😭

I called my OBGYN yesterday and so they made me an appointment for today because I told them I think I have Post Partum. It was with a new Dr. I told her how severe my depression is right now to the point I’m crying every single day multiple times a day, can’t do anything because I’m just not interested, having severe panic attacks, jumping at every single tiny noise etc… Told her how overwhelmed I am. I can’t even focus on anything like watching tv. She said there’s nothing she can do because I’m already on 200mg of Zoloft and 200mg of Lamictal. I don’t understand why not try a different medicine? Do something but if I’m asking for help and you turn me away and recommend going on psychology.com or something. I was on Prozac years ago and it stopped working so my old Dr. switched me to Zoloft and it’s worked for almost 5 years now! Maybe it just stopped working. Idk She’s like we don’t like to perscribe stronger anxiety medicine because of peoples tendency to get addicted. Well what about people who need them?!! Like you try waking up in the morning and having your heart racing and feeling like you can’t breathe and hiding under the covers because you feel absolutely terrified of having to go another day or sometimes no reason at all! Then have these attacks multiple times a day! It took so much for me to go out today and ask for help. I almost canceled this morning because I was terrified of the thought of my having to go somewhere by myself. I was hoping at least for some help until I can get in to see a psych doctor next month! So now what?! I just live every single day like this until hopefully next month I can actually get help! I literally answered all the questions on the scale of having post partum except wanting to hurt other people because I’d never hurt another person! Just frustrated. Thank you for listening and Izzy says hi ❤️ #Depression #Anxiety #PostpartumDepression

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