Postpartum Depression

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Postpartum Depression
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    Nowhere left to turn, nothing left to lose

    I'm posting here as I have nowhere else and nothing else left. I have completely given up on life and do not care anymore. I have bipolar 1 disorder and have been hospitalized 4 times for it. I just saw my Dr. last week, and my lithium levels are normal. I attempted suicide for the 12th time on Wednesday, and cut myself multiple times. I am bleak, numb, and see no point of going on. My parents could care less - in fact, I'm thinking of just driving off a bridge so they don't "have to waste anymore money." My almost 10-year relationship ended in February, and he believed be to me completely insane and a bother. I have one friend who lives 3 hours away who is suffering with postpartum depression herself and one down in Florida. I have no one. My co-workers are all drastically younger than me (I'm 34, they're 19/20). There's no love out there for me, my life is a wreck, nobody cares. Life has lost all hope and meaning. I'm alone with nothing but my thoughts, and that's when things get their worst.

    Does anyone have any last thoughts or ideas? My outlook is bleak, but I'm willing to try. I'd say I'm hypomanic - depressed, but also full of rage. I work out 7 days a week, so that option has been tried. Thank you for any help you can give.

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