Recovery

"I’ve regained my mind and my voice, and along with it, my silence and my choice."

How My Silence Became My Power

#DissociativeIdentityDisorder #TraumaRecovery #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Abuse #Trauma #Recovery #MentalHealth #PTSD

Sharing our list of books, articles, studies, websites: resources for complex trauma and dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, diagnostics, development, and differentials.

This compilation is non-exhaustive and presented in good faith and sans endorsement or commentary. Periodically updated and/or reorganized, so keep checking back!

Library & Resources

#DissociativeIdentityDisorder #Trauma #DissociationDisorders #dissociativedisorders #dissociativeamnesia #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #Recovery

I am back after a long break from this app.

To live is a privilege one has not to be taken for granted. I have realized this after I came out from my senses. Because I was not taking my thoughts captive, I left myself becoming idle which led to self-loathing and self-pity. Honestly, I felt dreadful and disgusted of my existence.

People were being sent into my life to remind me that I matter and I am worth the fight. I will repeat the statement below:

”People may walk with me but they cannot walk life for me.”

This is just the simple truth that I keep myself running away from. This gets to stop - right now! I am robbing myself a chance to make my existence worthwhile here in this earth.

Right now, I recall the words of the late Claire Wineland: LIVE PROUDLY! Her words left me asking whether how will I make my living impactful for myself and most especially to the people around me?

I cannot totally control my circumstances but the only thing I have control over is my response. May my words will give me that fire to keep going. As I said it before, recovery is a perpetual journey. It is not a destination. I will continually work on myself to ultimately become the person God called me to be. #Recovery #MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder

Content note: This post discusses alcohol addiction, suicidal thoughts, and recovery.

For a while, I was unmedicated and wasn't receiving the mental health support I needed. I knew I needed help, but knowing you need help and actually seeking it can be two very different things.

I started drinking early in my life, and by the time I was in the Navy, alcohol had become a problem. I drank constantly. Eventually, drinking became a life-or-death situation because of what it did to my mental health.

There were times when I drank until I couldn't remember what I had done. During some of those times, I put myself in danger.

Eventually, I had to make difficult decisions to protect myself. I had to acknowledge that there were things I could no longer safely access. Accepting that was incredibly hard, but it was necessary.

The last incident was the one that finally terrified me enough to understand how serious everything had become. Someone I love intervened and prevented me from making a decision I wouldn't have been able to take back.

I don't remember the incident.

That may have been the scariest realization of all.

I knew I had to seek help. I had to stop drinking.

Recovery has been a battle, but today I am 57 days sober, the longest I've been sober in three years.

And I am incredibly proud of myself.

I'm also saddened sometimes by how much had to happen before I understood what seems so clear to me now.

I never wanted to die.

I wanted relief.

I wanted relief from the pressure my life had created. I wanted the fighting to stop. I wanted my mind to become quiet. I wanted to breathe.

Through sheer persistence, so many of the things I spent years fighting through eventually started to turn around.

Now I finally get to breathe.

But today, recovery feels different.

My life is becoming quieter, and I'm realizing that peace can feel uncomfortable when your nervous system has spent years preparing for the next disaster.

I'm learning to sit with that.

I'm learning that I don't have to fight every thought that enters my head.

I'm learning how to exist without constantly surviving.

I'm still working on some things. I still have coping mechanisms I want to change. I'm learning how to live with memories.

But I'm here.

#SuicidalIdeation #Recovery #Addiction #PTSD #Suicide #Alcoholism