Recovery

When I first came up with the name Rise Above Your Norm, it wasn’t just a catchy title or a motivational phrase.
It was a promise — to myself.

A promise that no matter how many times life broke me down, I would find a way to rise again.
That I would no longer settle for survival.

That I would rebuild, even from the ashes, and help others do the same.

🌪️ Breaking Free From My “Normal”

For most of my life, my norm was pain. It was chaos, addiction, and trauma.

It was living in constant fight-or-flight mode — never trusting peace, never feeling safe in my own skin.

That was the world I knew. That was my normal.

But there comes a moment in healing when you realize — your “normal” isn’t serving you anymore.

It’s not protecting you, it’s holding you hostage.

And that’s when the real work begins: The decision to rise above it.

💔 Rising Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

Rising above your norm doesn’t mean pretending the pain never happened.

It doesn’t mean ignoring your past, or erasing your mistakes.
It means facing them — owning them — and still choosing to grow.

It means saying:

> “Yes, I’ve been through hell… but I’m not staying there.”

For me, it meant looking in the mirror and deciding to stop identifying with the brokenness, and start identifying with the strength it took to survive.

🌱 A Movement of Healing

Rise Above Your Norm isn’t just my personal mantra anymore — it’s a movement.

It’s a message to anyone who’s ever felt too damaged to start over.

To the addict trying to stay clean.

To the survivor learning to trust again.

To the mother rebuilding her life piece by piece.

It’s about knowing that we all have a norm — a version of life that once felt unchangeable — and realizing we have the power to rise above it.

💫 My Why

I started this journey in recovery, rebuilding from nothing — not just to heal myself, but to use my story to help others heal too.

Because healing alone is hard.
But healing together? That’s how we change lives.

Through my blog, my future practice, and the community we’re building here — I want to remind people that your story doesn’t end in your brokenness.
It begins the moment you decide to rise.

🕊️ Final Reflection

Rise Above Your Norm means rewriting the story you once thought was over.

It means giving yourself permission to grow beyond what hurt you.

It means choosing peace, even when chaos feels more familiar.

And most of all — it means believing that no matter what you’ve been through, you are worthy of a life that feels safe, whole, and yours again.

So here’s to rising — again, and again, and again.
Because every time we do,
we prove that healing is possible. 💛

BigmommaJ
#RiseAboveYourNorm #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #Recovery

I woke up this morning in a crazy amount of pain. I had taken two different pain meds at 1am but when I woke at 8am it was time to take 4 different meds.

I started doing my daily leg exercises designed to help my leg recover from the major surgery it had 4 weeks ago. And frankly I detest those exercises because they bring on extreme pain but I know they are one of the keys to getting full use of the leg back.

Out of the blue are flood of tears hit me, and I started sobbing uncontrollably. I was puzzled where they came from and then clarity came, like a earth shattering bolt of lightning.

I am grieving. Grieving the crazy amount of pain I have had to endure the last 5 weeks. Grieving the $8000 in medical bills. Now, I can afford those, no problem at all, it’s just I would rather have been able to spend it on something more meaningful.

I am grieving the loss of dignity being in hospital brings. You have to discuss with the medical team information that is normally way off limits.

I am grieving the huge load others have had to pick up because of my limited abilities for awhile. My Wife doesn’t complain but I know she is exhausted. The last time I was in hospital she was there when code blue was called and she had to stand in a corner while 12 medical people attended to me and then hurriedly took me away for more surgery. That must have been the longest wait for her.

I’m grieving not being independent and having to rely on a walking frame, wheelchair and other mobility equipment.

As a Pastor I have learnt a lot about grief. Walking alongside people who have had to bury loved ones is an incredible privilege. Yet, here is the bottom line. The more I learn about grief the more I realise how little I know. It’s very complicated, very individual and it plays by its own rules.

I do know this though. Having shed so many tears this morning, I feel better for it. My physical pain is still easily getting my attention but in 45 minutes the main pain meds will kick in.

So many people on this app are dealing with grief. Most having to navigate much deeper and more painful grief than what I am experiencing right now.

This current situation has taught me, again, a universal truth. Grief is much better handled when you don’t try and do it on your own.

I have had over the years many people reluctant to visit a grieving person because “they don’t know what to say”. That is indeed a challenge. I then advise them they don’t have to say anything. Just be there. Some questions generally work well such as:
How are feeling?
Tell me about (the person who has died)?
What’s the most challenging thing you are facing at the moment?

Not facing this season alone has kept me from going down dark rabbit holes. Support from friends. Love from my family. People here on The Mighty. Gods voice. Medical practitioners.

I don’t normally like crying, at all. Yet, I am grateful for the tears this morning.

It is my hope and prayer that this post brings someone some comfort, wisdom and hope today.

#Depression #Anxiety #Grief #FamilyAndFriends #Relationships #Recovery #MentalHealth

The latest chapter of my recovery story is a good one, finally. Four weeks ago someone at the cardio exercise group I went to did something very silly and as a result I found myself in an ambulance on my way to hospital.

After being diagnosed with a complex tibia fracture Doctors put the leg in plaster hoping it would heal. After a week I was transferred to a rehabilitation facility where the staff dropped the ball in disturbing ways. For instance one day I was stranded in my bathroom for over an hour because the nurse forgot I was there.

Scans showed the leg wasn’t healing as hoped so I was transferred back to the first hospital. There I had surgery to repair the leg. I now have a metal plate and screws in the leg, for which I am grateful for. Unfortunately errors continued. Things like almost being given someone else’s medication and doses of pain meds being missed.

These are private hospitals so they normally have very high standards of care, not this time.

Yesterday I was transferred to another rehabilitation hospital. This hospital is extremely hard to get into because it is always full because of their commitment to excellence. I came here yesterday and immediately was shocked by the high nurse/patient ratio. The attentiveness of the staff and the promise of intensive treatment.

Today I had two one on one physiotherapy sessions specific to my injury. It was intense but already I could feel my leg was moving with less restriction and control.

The food has been of a quality that wouldn’t be out of place at a great restaurant.

I have hope. I am now in a safe place, I am being heard, I am under multi-discipline medical care. There is a plan for my full recovery. Thank you Jesus for breakthrough.

I must express my sincere and profound gratitude for the prayers and support so many have shown me on this app. Salt of the earth people!!!

I moved out of my home state for 7 years. The lives and chapters I led were astounding. The material gains and losses ebbed and flowed.

I relocated to my home state 3 years ago after a very heartbreaking parting of a loved one as well as an immense spiritual awakening/psychotic break.

I finally admitted to myself that I needed my family. I needed childhood familiarity and comfort.

Sometimes life throws you those curve balls.

It takes great strength to swallow pride and give in. To ask for that help.

Fast forward, I have FINALLY moved into my own home again!!! Three years of hard work, mental stability with regular medication, consistent therapy and solid prayer. I DID IT.

I blasted through the barriers that I may have self imposed but also maybe were there for another reason unexplained..

As I unpack my boxes and begin to settle and decorate - that is the fun part after all. I find myself really fine tuning the items I’ve carried along the years.

I no longer resonate with some of the stories, the pieces or chapters of whom I have been. Other items I discover I keep and realize those are the parts of me that were once so dark that now seem so light.

A glistening scar when the sun hits.

So, I began to question ..

Luggage Vs Baggage..

How much do I truly carry? Would I pack it in a suitcase for vacation? Does it benefit my future? Does it benefit my Well being? Or is it weighing me down?

Alas, my diagnoses is a Blessing. It took years to recover and embrace and accept.

Nonetheless, I AM HERE!

“Adulting”, Living, Breathing, Thriving.

I choose the Luggage, any day. #conqueryourmind #BipolarDisorder #mentalwellbeing #MentalHealth #Recovery

I want to talk about one of the hardest truths I’ve had to face on my healing journey—the battle within myself. It’s one thing to overcome pain caused by others, but it’s something entirely different when the person standing in your way is you. Mental health recovery has taught me that sometimes, the biggest fight isn’t with the world—it’s with the voice in your own mind.

——-

My Own Worst Enemy

(By Jacqueline Hayes)

I’ve walked through fires of my own design,
Built prisons in this heart of mine.
Each fear, each doubt, I let reside,
Until my spirit ran to hide.

I’ve torn down bridges I helped build,
Let guilt and shame go unfulfilled.
I blamed the world, I blamed the pain,
Not knowing I fed my own chain.

The mirror shows a face I know,
But she’s been hurt from long ago.
She’s strong, yet tired — brave, yet scared,
Haunted by truths she never shared.

I’ve been my foe, my harshest voice,
Silencing hope, denying choice.
But deep inside, I hear a plea —
“Please stop destroying what could be.”

So now I breathe, and face the flame,
No longer running from the name.
I’ll own my scars, forgive the past,
And free myself — at peace, at last.

For healing starts when I believe,
That I am worthy to receive.
No longer foe, no enemy —
Just me, becoming who I’m meant to be.
-------------
There was a time I didn’t need anyone else to tear me down—because I did it all by myself.
Every mistake, every flaw, every scar—I used them as weapons against me. I’ve been my own harshest critic, my own abuser, my own worst enemy. And the truth is, sometimes it’s easier to believe the lies your mind tells you than to face the pain underneath them.

I used to look in the mirror and only see what I wasn’t.
Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not lovable enough.
That voice in my head—the one that told me I’d never change—was louder than any encouragement I ever received. I thought if I punished myself first, no one else could hurt me. But all that did was keep me stuck in the same cycle of shame, guilt, and self-sabotage.

Mental illness and trauma have a way of twisting your reflection.
They make you believe you are the problem instead of the survivor. I spent years blaming myself for things that weren’t my fault—things I didn’t ask for. I carried that guilt like a badge of honor, as if hating myself would somehow make me more deserving of peace. It didn’t. It only made the healing harder.

It took me a long time to realize that I was standing in my own way.
Every time I doubted my worth, every time I told myself I’d fail before I even tried, I was feeding the very pain I wanted to escape. I kept waiting for someone else to save me, not realizing that the person I needed to forgive, to fight for, and to love—was me.

Learning to stop being my own worst enemy hasn’t been easy.
It’s taken self-awareness, brutal honesty, and compassion I didn’t think I deserved. I’ve had to unlearn the lies I told myself for years and replace them with truth: I am enough. I can change. I do deserve peace. I’ve learned that growth starts the moment you stop fighting yourself and start understanding yourself.

Now, when that inner critic tries to speak, I try to remind her: You’ve done enough. You’ve survived enough. You are enough.
Because every time I choose love over self-loathing, healing over hate, I rise a little higher above the person I used to be.

To anyone reading this who feels trapped by their own thoughts—please hear me.
You are not your mistakes. You are not your trauma. You are not the cruel things you say to yourself in your lowest moments. You are human. And you are worthy of grace, even from yourself. Especially from yourself.

The moment you stop being your own worst enemy, you give yourself permission to become your greatest ally.
And that’s where true healing begins.

Rise Above Your Norm

For me, rising above my norm meant learning how to be on my own side for once. It meant choosing to nurture the parts of me I used to destroy. It meant forgiving myself—not because I forgot what happened, but because I finally understood I deserved peace more than punishment.

Every time I choose self-compassion over criticism, I rise a little higher.
Every time I silence the voice that says “you can’t,” I remind myself that I already have.
The battle with my own mind hasn’t ended—but now, I fight for myself, not against myself.

> “The war inside me didn’t end—it just changed sides.”

BigmommaJ
# Selfsabbotage #mentalhelath #Healing #Recovery