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What the actual...

My last post was a YEAR AGO 😩, I was so excited to finally be able to use this app and communicate with people who just understand me. It’s such a weird world to live in when every conversation it’s like I have to be careful not to offend, not to say too much, not to be to #Overwhelming , not to be a #Burden ... (I’m sarcastically laughing while typing that bc it’s always from the people who tell me “you can always come to me”, then I do and they’re like ‘do you seriously have to be so sad all the time? You’re ruining things for me”) it’s almost as if you are #alone in the world. You know in movies when it shows someone sitting or standing still but everyone/thing else moving extremely fast around them? I’m the person sitting still... I feel like that on a regular basis. Anyone else? Everything I say or do will be used against me at some point... and I hate it. I felt like this app could be a genuinely safe & GOOD place for my mental health. For some reason though, it’s ‘just another website to talk to people you don’t know’ (another one? I use Twitter & Instagram & have had both for YEARS) & ‘that’s really weird bc who tells a complete stranger anything personal about them?’... Then I feel guilty, ashamed, RIDICULOUS... There are reasons why I’ll be here and then disappear. I just get tired of arguing about things that I shouldn’t have to argue about. Does anyone else have these issues w/family, friends, s/o?? #Anxiety #Depression #Dissassociating #CPTSD #Relationshipproblems #Relationships

*picture Me & Riley being silly!! She’s kind of a big deal #Blessed

1 reaction 15 comments

Ever disassociate in the middle of an argument?

Last night my girlfriend and I got into our 2nd "dumb" (imo) argument of this week. She has, by her own admission, been extra emotional this week. And during the argument I realized I was disassociating severely. At one point I felt like I was in a sitcom because her emotions/reactions/questions seemed so over the top and out of nowhere that I really had no clue how to respond. #disassociate #Relationshipproblems #Relationships


2020 is Breaking Me....

Not sure how much fight I have left in me. 2020 has taken me from the exceptional super woman I had become to a scared , broken shell of a woman.

2020 has stripped every ounce of strength and confidence I had built back up since escaping the hell that was my life in 2015.

I’m losing everything that makes me who I am with no end in sight to this hell.

How much longer do I have to be strong for everyone else, before finally someone is strong for me? #MajorDepressiveDisorder
#Anxiety #PanicAttack #CheckInWithMe #SuicidalThoughts #COVID19 #Relationshipproblems #JobStress #Depression #IfYouFeelHopeless


Should I break up with my partner? #Relationships

Me and my partner have been together for nearly 3 years and got engaged in January. I have been having doubts since we were separated by lockdown during the pandemic and it's only when we're apart.

He's 40, lives with his dad, is unemployed and shows no signs of growing up. It's like emotionally he's still in his 20s. I don't want him to completely support me financially or emotionally as I want to be independent but I need him to be able to support himself if that makes sense? I don't think I could cope trying to fully support another person when I struggle to take care of myself.

He has some autistic traits and is currently awaiting an assessment by adult services which could be 2 years from now as the waiting list is very long. I've tried suggesting working with a therapist to help him cope in his daily life and with his anger issues but he tried one session and gave up and said I need to wait for the assessment.

He has gone through several jobs while we've been together but generally ends up being sacked due to his attitude towards work. He lost his last job because he made a tasteless joke and refused to apologise when he was reported to HR. He felt they were in the wrong and he was right and nothing I said could change his mind. He was employed when we met and I had no idea until last year about his history with struggling to hold down a job. He's more focused on his special interests than finding work and has been spending his savings on collectables.

We generally have a good relationship, he's very loyal, supportive and loving but there are times where he hurts my feelings without realising and misses social cues.

I am unable to work due to mobility issues and chronic pain but I'm trying to build up my strength to be able to work part time. I recently got my own place and he just wants to go from living with his Dad to living with me.

I feel like I'm a hypocrite for wanting him to find work when I'm unable to work right now. I want to support him but how long do I wait to see if he can become more independent? It's been 10 months since his last job and he hasn't had one interview. I feel like a horrible person for thinking about breaking up with him while he is struggling/facing a possible diagnosis but at times it feels like we're two drowning people trying to save each other.

Any advice would be appreciated as I've been going through the motions for months and I feel guilty for having this feelings and fears and keeping them to myself. #fibromyaliga #ChronicPain #Relationshipproblems #Autism #Guilt


Can a long-distance relationship work forever?

I'm in love with this guy who's extremely special for 4 years. And now that moment of life-changing career decisions is taking place in both our lives. We love each other a lot and are not ready to leave each other even though we leave the city. In a year or two, he's gonna move out of the city. And in 3-5 years, I'm gonna move out of the country(not with intentions of eventually returning and residing here) we're glad to travel to see each other.. but there's a limit to how often we do that and for how long. It's all so damn stressful. We really want this to work out.

Marriage: we don't have a shot at marriage and we both know that (don't know if we've accepted it yet, but we know).. so that's sorted. Whether we stay at the same place or move to different places.. we're not gonna get married as our differences are too big and too many to let us have a happy marriage. (his family won't be accepting of me, got too much baggage, I can't live w his family)baggage- he cheated on me.. I cheated on him.. verbal and physical abuse.. all the red flags. (we took a timeout and things have been incredible ever since; all those have gotten eliminated.. But we still know there's a lot of baggage to make a marriage work) we're happy staying in a relationship forever. But I'm scared. I don't know how we're going to work it out from different countries in different timezones.

We stay or we don't, I know he's gonna be the last relationship I ever have till the day I die. I've fooled around and I couldn't find even a shred of what I wanted.. but he is all of it. No one else can satisfy my needs.. emotional.. sexual.. all-round.

All this long-distance and/or possible breakup stuff is so so consuming that I'm emotional 24x7 and can't focus on anything else. I can't even love him in the present coz I'm constantly worried that the black hole is getting closer and closer.

How should we proceed with this relationship? Currently as well as in future... When the time finally arrives.

#Relationships #Relationshipproblems #Love


What do you do if a person is not caring for you as you need to be cared for and are not understanding to the things you bring up that bother you?

My bf and I have been together almost 2 months and it’s just a reoccurring argument everytime I bring up how I feel about things that I don’t like or things that do not sit well with me. Also today I have been very sad, not due to him, and he says he cares but then joked about me being emotional bc of my period which is definitely not the case. He is a really great guy aside from all this but I just do not know what to do. I feel like I have to teach him how to care about me and I don’t like having to teach others how to be towards me because then it doesn’t feel genuine. Sometimes I feel like just caring more for myself and just walking away but I then feel like that’s ridiculous because we could have a great relationship as long as these things are worked on. I’ve tried talking about it and little changes have been made but I’m not happy with this issue that keeps happening. I hope this isn’t confusing and any advice would help. This is my first time posting on here. #Relationships #Relationshipproblems


My thoughts are killing me #BPD #Relationshipproblems

Hi Guys, I am not diagnosed or anything but I have special symptoms of bpd and my relationship suffers from it extremly. I live my boyfriend to death and I would do anything for him but I am shifting everytime from I love him, I‘ll never leave him to this relationship only gives me pain and I suffer from it deeply.
A lot has happened in the past and we broke up 2 times for a week or sething because we realized we couldn’t live without each other. But he also did some little things that still hurt my feelings like saving a pic from an ex girlfriend which was a bit erotic and I didnt know what to do. It was for about 6 months ago but it still chases me and other things too. When I am with him these thoughts might come and I start to push him away but the next time I think okay it will never happen again and we are so much more close now than we were 6 months ago and want him so close to me and it really confuses him and me everytime. There are also days where I only cry and he doesnt have a clue why I do that.
Sometimes I think it was his fault because he hurt me but I decided to still be with him because he is actually the best but I still suffer from my thoughts. I dont know what to do!!!


I lost her #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationshipproblems #Broken #PTSD

I lost her.
Because I had avoided the concerns, I shut them all down. She didn’t feel like she could talk to me. Therefore I lost her.
She had told me over and over again, how she wanted to try to fix things and I didn’t ever hear it.
So I lost her.
There were so many what if’s, things that blinded me from the happiness she gave me, and that we had, until one day the what if’s came true.
I still lost her.
It took me too long to realize all of it, and I don’t know if it’s possible to fix any of it. I just know my mind and body are aching for her.
Don’t be like me, don’t realize too late, listen to your significant others, if I had the chance to redo the way things were, I would in a heartbeat.
She was my one.
#endedrelationship #losteverything


How soon is too soon to ask your partner to go to couples therapy? Ive been in a romantic relationship with a guy for almost exactly a year.

Ive known this guy since high school, we were never great friends, more like we shared some of the same friends. Years later we met up through mutual friends and started very casually just hanging out once in a while. Last March was our first kiss/hookup. It was like instant love and has been, but there are some major issues we both need to work on if this has ANY chance of lasting. Im old enough to know love is not enough to sustain a relationship. Sould we go ahead and break up if its only been a year and we need therapy? #CouplesTherapy #Relationshipproblems #Relationshipadvice


Putting it in order

I deal with depression, anxiety and being highly sensitive. Sometimes I find it so hard to figure out which is the biggest culprit of my current mood.

I feel like right now it's the highly sensitive part because I am in a relationship with a very negative and self centered man. He used to be great at listening to me and trying to understand me. After 22 months together, and being in couples councelling because of his lack of self control when it comes to needing women's attention, he's just stopped even trying to understand me even when I flat out explain to him what my issue is. I literally clearly e plain what I'm emotional about and he immediately says he doesn't know why I'm emotional. In councelling, it's all about HIS problems and he says I am not letting him talk when I try to explain MY feelings. I'm so frustrated in my relationship. I'm to the point where I'm seriously questioning if I can marry him and do this for the rest of my life. 90% of the time when he opens his mouth, negativity comes out. There are times when I have to ask him to stop b*itching because its affecting my mood.

These days I am so much more easily taking on other people's emotions.
my highly sensitive piece is EXTREMELY strong right now and its driving me crazy. I am not liking this side of me. I can't deal with anything anymore.
#hatebeinghighlysensitive #Relationshipproblems #multiplementalhealthissues #whatdoidonow #gmentallytired