scaredandalone

I’ve really been having a rough year. I swore I was getting better and I thought I was but it hurts now. It hurts and it’s a dull pain and I don’t want to fight it any more. I’m trying so hard and I’m scared I’m gonna relapse into my old bad habits. #Selfharm #scaredandalone

My pharmacist wants me to be tested for the coronavirus. Been sick for 3 weeks. Cough and fever getting worse... I called telehealth and am waiting to hear from the nurse. #COVID19 #covidanxiety #Fibromyalgia #ChronicIllness #Anxiety #scaredandalone

I can go day or weeks without true human contact. This world is my hell. Someone please tell me it’ll change.

every day I walk around acting like everything is fine but in reality... my legs and arms are in so much pan and I feel like if I fall the cuts will rip open and I will bleed out...HELP!!!

I was raped at the age of 6 years old by my uncle...
I have since undergone therapy but it hasn't helped me at all. I started to feel alone when I was 8 and I felt like my family didn't understand I am currently 14 years of age and a freshman of high school and I am still scared that i am going to go through that again but I am a survivor and I am a fighter. But I'm also a child and I am scared. But I am a #rapesurvivor #Depression #PTSD #scaredandalone but I won't let it define me! I am going to try and work through all of this but I don't know how to tell my parents that I am depressed. If anyone has any ideas of how I can tell them comment plz.

I think I'm losing it. Sometimes there are "bright days" which give me the illusion of getting better. Like there was a way out. But when I'm honest to myself I fell the frightening truth. It's like I was slowly fading away. Like I was less and less with every day.
It began with my vocabulary and I didn't pay much attention to it. I'm an author/poet. Better said I used to be. Now I can hardly find the most basic words in everyday communication. I'm reading my previous poems and am chocked by the pain. Nowadays I'm basically unable to solve a math example or keep things in mind. My family thinks I just don't pay attention and am incompetent even to everyday tasks. But I haven't always been like this Back in high school I usually won regional competitions my poems were publicited. In nursery I was considered an "extraordinary child" and took tests which showed I was more intelligent than the average.
Today I'm considered a failure. And what kills me from the inside, is knowing I'm constantly giving my best to be normal. Each day is a continuous struggle and fight against this consuming fog. But all my efforts are just dust in the air. In feel it taking over me. I know I could have done better.
I'm still trying to keep myself in the belief, it's just the illness, I will be ok. But I'm truly terrified of what awaits me. And the people around me. I don't want to be like this... My family is at the point, that they don't trust me anymore. And I can wholly understand why...
I'm afraid this will oly get worse. I'm desperate and I'm crying for help.. I just need someone to hold me and tell me everything is gonna be ok. I want to believe it. I want it. But there's no help...
#help #scaredandalone #terrified #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MemoryLoss #Fading #helpme

A week and a day ago I was told to start this new medication called Hydroxychloquine aka Plaquenil at 200MG. It was supposed to lessen and perhaps even 'take away' my autoimmune issues, arthritis, and even fibromyalgia.
A full week of taking it and suddenly yesterday I woke up feeling quite frankly poisoned. It was like I had been run over exactly 6 times by a semi-truck and everything hurt and ached and I mean EVERYTHING.
As the day wore on I felt somewhat better but then it was time to take another dose. I spent all night crying from the muscle spasms that started to take over my stomach, sides, arms, neck, and even face. I was immobile from pain. Even more symptoms came as the minutes crawled by.

The next day I had to force myself to take the medicine and then called the doctors to let them know what was going on. The medical assistant suggested I immediately stop taking the medicine and said she would have my doctor call later. 1 missed dose later and I feel ridiculously normal.
So this is me posting into the world of the Mighties wondering if anyone else felt these absolutely terrible symptoms with this medicine or if maybe other undiagnosed health issues are the cause.
Please comment instances where you had a good experience with the medicine too. It would be comforting that it can help people.
Is there anyone out there?

#Fibromyalgia#Arthritis#EhlersDanlosSyndrome#HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease#CheckInWithMe#scaredandalone

That’s it I’m real scared to fall asleep, I’ve been having these really weird “dreams”

When I was younger I was always in the same burning building watching myself burn to death.

From fires to hanging, or by anaphylactic shock; and now, I wouldn’t say it’s as bad as before, I’m in a dark space.

Almost like a void; and I’m shouting, screaming trying to get someone’s attention. No one hears me

And then I end up in a casket and I heard people over me.
I’m really scared I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to think. #anxiousdreams #Fear #scared #scaredandalone #Nightmares

I’ve always felt safe at my job, I enjoy it despite they type of work I do.

Today, there was an adult I’ve never seen before and several students (I work at a high school) up on the third floor with me. For the most part we didn’t bother one another, and my anxiety didn’t start until I had to enter the area they were occupying. They began to slam doors and glare at me as well as stop talking until I left, unfortunately I didn’t “leave” because as a janitor my job is to clean.

These individuals began to treat me like a thing and as if I wasn’t there. If brought back a lot of trauma from when my family was robbed. I had a panic attack after reaching out to my boss who basically told me there wasn’t anything they could do about it, which has only heightened panic and anxiety.

I’m planning to contact HR, but am worried... #Anxiety #PanicAttack #scared #scaredandalone