Which is kinda great, except when it's not (I could whine abt it after, but then again why not now?)
They were planning on it, then they managed to get a house (resale, not new - getting a new house now in this COVID climate means you wait forever), so they decided, why not? But that's all, they only have the house :P (ie, it's not renovated yet, they haven't got furniture & decor yet, etc. It's literally just a house .. lol.) They chose tomorrow bc .. they didn't, sorta. More like bc his fiancee/wife is an educator, in typical educator life you just get married on the first day of the school vacation HAHA (my other friends did this too! Teaching dictates everything on your behalf when others would get to choose ..)
But here's why I'm upset -
(1) grandma's not here :'( It'll actually be 9? months to her passing tomorrow, which is kinda bittersweet in some way, but I really also thought they would like wait a year first. Part of me wonders if this is slightly disrespectful, though I know grandma already gave her full blessing & even said, since she cannot be there, please get married with a church wedding.
(1b) It makes me sad bc she used to say (when my cousin was in law school) that she wanted to see him graduate, get married, have kids .. (& then I'd tease him to hurry up on it lol)
(2) But also like omg I cannot. My mother. I feel like, she knows she may not ever get to experience this so she (understandably) is like experiencing vicariously? But the way she makes it sound is like ...
(2a) Mother keeps going on & on about the fact that this is the first wedding in the (direct) family in like, 32 years. Arguably, if we want to get picky - go after my oldest cousin who didn't wanna get married, ... anyway. & to me like, .. it's a wedding. LOL.
(2b) Heck, sometimes I feel like they're acting like wow he finally accomplished The Goal to life or something. Is life all about getting married? That's kinda funny then, considering that other than his mom & my mom, my 3 other aunts are unmarried. Hahaha.
& for someone like me, who has spent so much time finally seeing that it's possible to be accepted as a complete, whole, single woman (& who has my own issues about marriage admittedly, no thanks @ parents) - really? Feels like this overemphasis highlights that marriage completes a person. Or something.
(3) Okay - he will always be baby cousin & I'm sure baby cousin-in-law [to be] is a lovely young woman but - I've only met the girl like twice maybe & I don't even know her that well, how can I be excited about this (might be a pandemic romance, idk. Or a well-kept secret lol but unlikely)
& also, like - I mean, I'm not as close to him as we were when we were kids. Like, after we grew up & stuff so like, just cos he's the favourite (& only, lol) nephew & the mom/aunts are understandably extra excited, don't impose that on me.
Halp, am I terrible?
#CheckInWithMe #Marriage #Wedding #Selfesteem