I’ve been feeling very nostalgic for the person I used to be. The people I used to hang out with, my old friends, my old life- before the diagnosis’s, before my world was turned upside down.
But the fact is that no matter how hard I wish to go back to that person 9 years ago, I will never be 17 again. I will never weigh 110 pounds again, and friends fade over time.
The truth is that life moves on and we have to find a way to move on with it.
9 years ago I was a 17-year-old, happy-go-lucky girl without a care in the world. I had the world at my finger tips. And then I had my first manic episode- I lost friends, family, scholarships to colleges. And then I was diagnosed with lupus- I lost the ability to walk- walk. I never thought, in all my life, I would lose the ability to walk. I gained over 60 pounds from meds, and my lack of movement, and yes, poor dietary habits. But I did learn to walk again (praise!).
And I will never be 17 again.
This is who I am now.
I am 26 years old now. And I live with bipolar 1 disorder and lupus.
I’m slowly but surely learning to live again. Learning to smile again. And learning to be the happy-go-lucky girl again.
I believe in her. I believe in me.
#BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #weightgain #Lupus #SystemicLupusErythematosus