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    Getting Fat* with a history of ED/Anorexia #EatingDisorders #weightgain #Fatshaming #Dysphoria

    First off I use the term Fat* as an empowering self identifier, based off the work of Roxanne Gay.

    So i had an eating disorder in high school. I didnt gain weight from the time I was 12 to 15, and I was skinny, underweight. At 15 I started recovery and have been in remission for 5-6 years. In that time, my weight has almost doubled (for a bunch of reasons). In the last few months especially, I've put on a good share of that weight. I was fine with being plus size, at least when I was a Small Fat* (RG's term) and could hide the weight with looser clothes. Now I'm reaching the point where I can't. And I hate it and I'm ashamed of hating it bc I know there is nothing wrong with being my size. But I just feel ugly and unattractive and huge and I don't like how I look in just about anything. I have almost nothing that I had a year ago because it doesn't fit me/I dont like it anymore. Im uncomfortable in anything except pajamas and hate going on the bus because of the space I know I take up. I feel like I dont know how to express who I am which makes me feel like I don't know who I am. So I want to loose weight (just a few pounds) but my body won't do it which is bringing back fasting/restriction habits, especially since I have no apeptite and nothing sounds or tastes good (due to meds Im on and other disabilities I have). So in the last couple days, I've barely eaten anything and I don't want to because nothing sounds good, I'm rarely hungry and most of all because I dont want to gain weight.

    And no one in my life understands. Everyone thinks I should be loosing weight (fat shaming) and that I just need to have discipline to eat and eat "healthily".


    Difficulty losing weight with m.e/cfs and fibromyalgia

    I am now almost at my highest weight. Ive gained almost 10 pounds since the summer and thats with trying to lose weight! Ive cut my calories down and Ive been sticking to them but Ive gained 1.5 pound this week. Its so upsetting and I feel so uncomfortable in my body. I know my health issues aren’t helping but surely I should be losing some weight and not gaining it.
    Does anyone else struggle like I do? I feel very alone right now. #weightgain #WeightLoss #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis

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    You don’t have to be the same person you were at 17

    I’ve been feeling very nostalgic for the person I used to be. The people I used to hang out with, my old friends, my old life- before the diagnosis’s, before my world was turned upside down.

    But the fact is that no matter how hard I wish to go back to that person 9 years ago, I will never be 17 again. I will never weigh 110 pounds again, and friends fade over time.

    The truth is that life moves on and we have to find a way to move on with it.

    9 years ago I was a 17-year-old, happy-go-lucky girl without a care in the world. I had the world at my finger tips. And then I had my first manic episode- I lost friends, family, scholarships to colleges. And then I was diagnosed with lupus- I lost the ability to walk- walk. I never thought, in all my life, I would lose the ability to walk. I gained over 60 pounds from meds, and my lack of movement, and yes, poor dietary habits. But I did learn to walk again (praise!).

    And I will never be 17 again.

    This is who I am now.

    I am 26 years old now. And I live with bipolar 1 disorder and lupus.

    I’m slowly but surely learning to live again. Learning to smile again. And learning to be the happy-go-lucky girl again.

    I believe in her. I believe in me.
    #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #weightgain #Lupus #SystemicLupusErythematosus

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    Good Day 😊

    Had a productive day. Got a lot done. Went for a nice walk in this beautiful weather we’ve been having. Excited for fall and more beautiful weather. I used to run/walk 5 miles a lot. Going to try to do that again. It’s just been so hot. Tomorrow it’s supposed to rain so I’m going to go to the gym or do a Yoga with Adrienne video on YouTube. Feeling better about my weight loss journey. I lost a lot of weight before. I know I can again… it’s just going to be more difficult with all the prescription meds I’m on. Had good conversations with family and friends about my struggles. #optimistic #WeightLoss #weightgain #weightlossjourney

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    Weight Gain

    I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but I’m very unhappy about my weight. I’ve been trying to lose the weight, but I’m struggling. I used to be so confident. Don’t get me wrong I can still be confident, but when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize myself. I’m just unhappy about it. I could lose the weight quick, but my family and doctors advise me otherwise. I’m tired of not feeling like myself. I just want to be happy. I hope I can lose the weight. If I keep gaining weight I don’t care what anyone says… I’ll find a new doctor and my family can keep their advice to themselves. #weightgain #unhappy #struggling


    Trauma and weight gain

    I've been doing a lot of research on this subject. I want to be healthier and that includes my physical health. What I've been reading is quite interesting. Besides a healthier diet, what else do you suggest? #weightgain #Trauma #PTSDSupportAndRecovery

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    Weight Gain

    I’m really struggling currently with the weight I have gained on my bipolar med, vraylar! Since starting in February, I have gained a whopping 40lbs!!! I am so depressed, I sleep the days and nights away, I have zero energy, and most days have a hard time even getting out of bed.
    Has anyone else experienced weight gain, if so, have you found anything effective in counteracting it with your meds?
    Is there a med out there that doesn’t cause weight gain that I can consult with my doctor about?
    I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror, don’t want to take part in any activities with family or friends, and none of my clothes fit!

    Sure my mood is stable, but at the expense of a deep depression because Of my weight gain!

    #BipolarDepression #weightgain

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    Body image #BodyImage #weightgain

    Birth control.
    Why does it make woman gain so much weight!!
    I used to be at a weight I felt comfortable at, I felt confident and I didn’t think about what people thought of me.
    NOW: after starting birth control due to a medical disability, I have gain 24kg in like a year and a bit.
    I am hating my body and am sooo self conscious, I stare in the mirror and I don’t like what I see anymore. My favourite clothes don’t fit anymore. And I have back rolls.
    I also struggle to eat healthy and exercise.
    It’s a thought that never leaves my mind “my body, I’m fat, I’m not pretty anymore”


    Morning coffee thoughts #MentalHealth #Recovery

    My days start early since I’ve been on medication for my mental health, sometimes 3 or 4 am .
    Yesterday I treated myself to a new coffee pot and I’m reminded of the little things I get to enjoy now . The simple smell of freshly brewed coffee.
    These little simply things out weigh my medication weight gain .
    Having clear thinking is helping me tackle a physically difficult situation , like working on a weight loss goal .
    I have also been in recovery from addiction for 18 years and one of the memories I have of early recovery is the gratitude I had for the smell of freshly brewed coffee and waking up clean and sober . Gratitude for the gift of having endless possibilities for my day because using wasn’t apart of my existence.

    Gratitude still has the ability to remind me of how blessed I am to still have another day to live .

    I think once we experience a terrible darkness in our lives with such despair, we are eventually gifted with the ability to see the simple everyday things some take for granted. Gifts of everyday possibilities for sharing our experience of coming through to the other side which is so full of light .
    Coffee cheers to you .
    #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #Gratitude #weightgain #wellness


    Small victories #weightgain #MentalHealth #Hope #medicationweightgain

    I’ve been struggling with a lot of weight gain due to my many medications I take to keep my mental health in check .
    Today I weighed myself and finally saw the scale drop 3 lbs .
    I’m counting this as a small victory.
    I’ve been doing daily workouts and eating better without any results except the scale moving up but today I have hope that my hard work is paying off .
    I’m grateful for the combinations of medications that allow me to function and stay hopeful, for today .
    I’ve learned to take it one day at a time .
    Today is a good day .