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Good Day 😊

Had a productive day. Got a lot done. Went for a nice walk in this beautiful weather we’ve been having. Excited for fall and more beautiful weather. I used to run/walk 5 miles a lot. Going to try to do that again. It’s just been so hot. Tomorrow it’s supposed to rain so I’m going to go to the gym or do a Yoga with Adrienne video on YouTube. Feeling better about my weight loss journey. I lost a lot of weight before. I know I can again… it’s just going to be more difficult with all the prescription meds I’m on. Had good conversations with family and friends about my struggles. #optimistic #WeightLoss #weightgain #weightlossjourney

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Thank you!

I don't find time to participate in The Mighty as often as I'd like, but every time I do, I'm happy I did. I really get a lot out of this app, from reading your posts, and interacting with you. I learn a lot, too.

(The photo is me, playing with my son at our new home over the summer. Leap of faith!)

I just wanted to thank you all! #ThankYou #TheMighty #grateful #optimistic #toostubborntogiveup

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Winter Blues

Is it just me or has this year just flown by? I find when we change over to daylight savings time it has an affect on me, mentally and physically. My husband has always had SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), but I never have experienced it until last year.

I find that as the weather changes and all of the ups and downs with temperatures, it affects my MS therefore I think that’s why I have now have developed SAD. As I progress with my disease, the weather bothers me more physically, which takes a toll mentally.

I’m dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas and having to tell family members and friends that I don’t want to be around large crowds, especially those that are not vaccinated for Covid and Flu. I don’t want to host any gatherings or have anyone outside of my bubble stay overnight in our home. This leads me to my last paragraph.

I read a post on Instagram that really hit home for me. I’m not depressed, I’m not sad, I’m optimistic and have so much hope, but despite this, I’m not happy. All of this is so true. I don’t quite understand it but undoubtedly it definitely has a lot to do with the ongoing pandemic and state of affairs we’re in.

I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and I hope all of you stay healthy. 🧡

#SeasonalAffectiveDisorder #sad #msprogression #optimistic #hopeful #unhappydespitebeingoptimisticandhopeful #momswithms #HolidaysAreHard

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A little hope and encouragement

I know a lot of people on here are here because they are actively struggling. Whether it is psychological or physical, chronic or acute, we are mostly in the middle of the struggle. Is there anyone out there who has gotten through and has come out on the other side and is doing well? Like, really well? I recognize that there is no complete cure for most of the ailments that we discuss on The Mighty, but I just need to know that there actually is a light at the end of the tunnel, and life can be okay eventually. Thank you for the support from everyone! #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicIllness #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Spoonie #MentalHealth #reassurance #optimistic

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This is so hard to do

I'm trying to heal after years and years and years of emotional and mental abuse. My last relationship was abusive. My abuser added in verbal abuse. I got away from him 3 years ago and am in therapy. My experience with him has made it hard to open up to new friends. Just writing this has been so hard to do
#New friends #Shyness #EmotionalAbuse #optimistic

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Super optimistic

I had an other appointment with my new therapist. I've had a hard time really finding a therapist I felt comfortable with since leaving inpatient. I don't know if it's cause of just being a different setting but I feel extremely comfortable with my therapist. I feel seen and heard and validated. I brought up being concerned about goals that were meaningful to me. I brought up some things that I hadn't brought up at the first appointment. She was understanding, supportive, and patient since it's just a process. I'm just extremely optimistic about starting therapy again. I'd wanted to for such a long time but was always scared to start again. #Depression #Therapy #goals #excited #optimistic



Every one always wonders why I am such an optimist. I am that annoyingly joyful person who refuses to see anything less than half full. In public.

The reason I'm an optimist is because otherwise, if I let it go for just a moment, I'm a suicidal wreck. The second I let in the bleak, in with it comes flooding the dark thoughts. Which building is tall enough, where to get rope, what's the sharpest object in my house? Who should I apologize to? Who should I say good bye to? More and more rushing and flooding me till I can't breath drowning on the floor. Unstoppable obsessive thoughts slamming into me unrelentingly. It hurts and i can't move.

I'm exhausted holding it back. All. The. Time.

I know what happens when I let go, when I get down my smiling guard.

But sometimes I can't stop it. Sometimes it floods me no matter how delusional bright I paint the world. I don't have an answer of how I don't die, because I don't know. I just keep breathing, I have to. I don't have a choice. So I lay there and breath until I can force a smile.
If I force enough smiles, eventually I get a real one. Then later maybe a chuckle or a sarcastic snort. Then a laugh. And sometimes, once in a while, I get a full belly laugh where I'm crying but its not because I'm fighting my own death. I'm crying because I feel happy and that hurts in its own way but I like how happy hurts.

So every day I trick myself, lie to myself.

Look at the beautiful g d grass, itsnt it lovely with dew on it?
Oh looks like I get extra time to listen to music this morning since traffic isn't moving.
I am fine.

So if you talk to me and I am annoyingly cheerful on a monday morning saying "Good morning! Gonna be a fun day!" as you roll your eyes and chug your coffee. And I'm smiling so big and so hard so you won't see in my eyes the truth. I'm saying good morning and smiling and spreading joy so I can keep breathing. So I don't die. So I can be a good mother and not leave my children to the wolves. I'm cracking jokes in the staff room so you will laugh so I can laugh and live another day.

So forgive my annoying optimism, because today is another beautiful day with beautiful g d dew covered grass. Today is another beautiful day because you and I are still here together to pretend to laugh together and chug our coffee and talk about nothing but that's OK that you won't let me in since I won't let you in either. But its OK. We are fine. And we are going to get through this. Together.

#Suicide #eternaloptimist #optimistic


These meds

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and prescribed some meds. I've been taking them for like a week and I just dont feel any change. I know sometimes they have to up the dosage or change meds to see what will react best. I sometimes feel like I am drowning. The meds are making me numb. #optimistic #hopeful #BPD


why do some people thrive and some people struggle to survive?

I don’t know that this is a question, per se, feels more like a thought in the form of a question. This is my question as I notice how things around my house are breaking, wearing out, etc and I’m not fixing them. I’m letting them go. I’m noticing I’m always focused on what I can’t do and others seem to not do that. I’m held down by my own pessimistic thoughts. I don’t want to just survive. I want to thrive but I don’t know how... #thrivenotsurvive #thrive #livelife #optimistic #Depression #Anxiety