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But Did I Hit You? #DomesticViolence #DomesticAbuse #NarcisisticAbuse #CPTSD #abusecycle #Trauma

“Did I hit you?”
“Did I hit you?”
“DiD i HiT yOu?”

Is all he kept repeating to me over and over in defense to my holding him accountable for trying to grab me and actually making my headphones fall out last week. Which btw is (according to him) is in the past because it was soooooo long ago. I did the best I could do in that moment but wow it was painful. To see the audacity he gathered to justify being violent towards another human. There was nothing, except self preservation. He knows he’s wrong, he has daughters but he justifies his actions towards me in such a condescending manner that I am usually in shock despite my awareness. I didn’t want to break, I couldn’t let him break me like that, so I grabbed my keys and took off. I was trying not to cry, I didn’t want him to be the one who makes me cry anymore. Narcissistic people have this odd way of getting pleasure out of seeing their victims break down. I refuse to give him that power over me. I did however, scream at the top of my lungs in my car while driving the speed limit to the park 😇 healthy outlets right? The way I’m showing up for myself is so beautiful. Makes me want to give myself a big hug and one to anyone who is trying to get out of an abusive relationship. We can do it, when the time is right and when we are safe and we have the proper support. I’ll have a lot to talk about in therapy tomorrow but for now this helps. Thank you 🙏🏽 #Selfcare #Selfappreciation #AbuseSurvivors #Selflove