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Does anyone else have this issue?

I don’t know if this is just me, but if I eat anything sugary or too salty before I go to sleep, I likely get nightmares. So I usually avoid those kinds of foods or snacks many hours before going to sleep. Has this happened to anyone else before? /gen

#nightmare #amitheonlyone


Why am I stuck or is this disassociation? #amitheonlyone ¿ #willieverfindmyplace ?

I stay stuck. In my mind and thoughts. I disassociate everything and avoid it. I ignore reality.
I have wasted years of my life by crawling into this shell. I want out. I don’t want to be here. How can I get out?
Tried medications. Tried this and that. Avoidance isn’t the answer. House is a wreck. Can’t move. I’m stuck.
Have a relationship with a great man. My grown kids live with me and it holds us back. They won’t leave or pay anything. Their dad was the same way. I want out. They you can have it all.
Help me get out of my shell. Help me to stop wasting my life. Years gone. Help me to live. To find my place is all I hope for.

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#Cancer #amitheonlyone ? #angiosarcoma

Has anyone else been diagnosed with primary angiosarcoma of the breast? I’m stage 4 and they say I have less than a year to live but I’m gonna keep fighting!


So I just got on here. I recently switched my medication because I felt like my depression was not controlled. I also have anxiety but that seemed to be ok, I wasn’t having panic attacks. Well when I switched it when covid happened so that didn’t help. The new medication wasn’t working I felt very angry and that’s not me. So I switched again but now my anxiety is out of control! Crying everyday, panic attacks. So on try three! Everything hurts I can’t get out of bed. All I want is to feel better. I feel like a horrible mother and partner. The hardest part is that my partner doesn’t understand. She’s trying she is. Just makes me feel worse seeing her face and not know what to do. I’m not sure why I’m writing all this but maybe I’ll find some hope. I just want to wake up with a smile ready to see what the day brings. Not wake up scared about how am I going to feel today. I’d like to feel like I’m not having a heart attack everyday or have enough energy to do the laundry. I guess I’m just looking to see if I’m not alone is all. Or maybe some tips. Anyway.. #Anxiety #deppresion #amitheonlyone


How can I put on a brave face...? How do I fix my reactions?

I’ve had my best friend for 14 years. She has borderline personality disorder and I’ve developed reactions to her, ones she doesn’t like.
Sometimes my arm shakes or my leg. Sometimes I start to stutter.
It sets her off more. I have depression, anxiety, insomnia, low self-esteem, tons of body issues...
Sometimes she will have an episode and I can’t help but react the way I do. She will order me to stop shaking or stuttering, mocking me as she does it. Sometimes she will yell or scream at me to make it stop. But I can’t.

It always ends up with me being in a room alone, trying to stay out of her way but being ready to dash to her if she calls - mostly because I don’t want to set her off more. I’m constantly going through panic attacks alone.
Please help. #CheckInWithMe #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #helpneeded #amitheonlyone

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bullied because of mental illness #Broken #feelingdiscouraged

So every time I'm in a manic state and I'm up all night and really hyper I get accused of being back on drugs even though I've been clean for 4years. If I sleep all day and barely get out of bed I get called lazy and a bad mom. If I cry or get upset I'm told to stop being a crybaby, if I have a panic attack or my anxiety is through the roof I'm told to get over it and suck it up. I come from a family that's never dealt with mental illnesses, I'm the only one of my moms kids that has anything wrong so of course I automatically feel like the black sheep of the family. All 3 of my kids have a mental health disorder my 2 oldest are bipolar (my oldest son also has psychotic tendencies) and my youngest son is autistic and has adhd.
#TiredOfTheseILLNESSES #familydisappointment #Familytroubles #amitheonlyone


Don't want to spread #It

It just came to me that one of the reasons I don't want to be outandabout is that I don't want to spread the ickiness. It's exhausting, but I also don't want to take this black cloud out to anyone else... #amitheonlyone ???!

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Can’t keep living like this. #Depression #Anxiety

Background; I have had depression and anxiety most of my life. Many different meds, treatments, counselors and voodoo stuff. Please don’t tell me I need to eat better, sleep better, do yoga, walk my dog, or just look at the bright side. I know all these things. Like many of you, I know what I need to do to get better, but this illness paralyzes me.
Sadly I know a lot about it. But now that I am heading into menopause, I am worse than I’ve ever been. Struggle at work, to the point I put in my notice without anywhere to go. And no money. No spouse or friends to help me, because I push them all away. I have Crazy anger blowouts. Crying over everything. I can be doing something fun and still be miserable. That’s a bunch of bullshit. I truly don’t feel like me anymore.

I’m not in a position to be hospitalized, but I am not well. . I had made the mistake of telling my doc that I’ve had some very rough days lately with so she doesn’t want to refill my Xanax or Ambien. (She tells me to eat better. For f sake). So much for being honest. Now my anxiety is though the roof and ready to give up. I asked to start Zoloft per a psychiatrist recommendation. My doctor wants me to wait two more weeks before doing that. I don’t know how much longer I can take living like this. Scheduled later this week to see a new doctor, hopefully one with some empathy. And real help.
#Empathy #tiredoffighting ##amitheonlyone Ruiningmylife #IFeelLikeABurden #Alonewithnosupport

Thanks for letting me vent. Maybe someone out there knows what I’m talking about. Because everyone in my life doesn’t seem to get it. So I stay #silentlysinking


Watching Movies Alone

I love watching movies. In my early 20s I would often watch a movie by myself (in theaters or at home). Fast forward to now. I can't hardly make myself watch a movie alone (home or theater). My TIVO is full of movies, some that I have seen and others I really have been wanting to watch. I just can't bring myself to watch them alone. I want someone with me so we watch the movie together.

My question is- does anyone else have difficulties watching movies on their own but not when they have someone to watch with?

#Depression #Movies #alone #amitheonlyone


I’m fine, but...

Nine years ago was diagnosed w bipolar type 2. I’m now 41. I’m healthy and fit. I’m successful in my work, and I’m paid well for it. I have great friends. I have a weird, probably not so mentally well family. I have struggled in relationships.

But there is something so wrong w my brain that it races. It burns hot. My thoughts are excessive, my anxiety is high, and I spend so much time trying to function normally in my daily life that I’m often exhausted by the time I get home. So many people have debilitating bipolar type 2. I am fine. But the amount of therapy, medication, money, time, energy, concentration, discipline, and struggle it takes to live a “successful” life is upsetting and unfair. I wish I had a normal brain and everything was easier. Instead I’m stuck with this overactive worry machine that I have to constantly struggle to control. Where are the other successful bipolar people? Who else doing an amazing job at acting like your mind isn’t trying to shake you at all moments or forcing yourself out of bed and onto a train each day despite everything in your body telling you to throw yourself on the tracks ? Am I the only one?

#Bipolar #Bipolar2 #Anxiety #successfulbipolar #amitheonlyone