Anxiety Disorder Not Otherwise Specified

Hello, I feel as it is time for me to write again. The demons (figuratively speaking)in my head are screaming pretty loud today. I’m sitting on the couch a mess while my wife is making some food for me. You see I’m in Michigan and it’s 315 in the afternoon. Might I just add, depression is a demon of mine. Also meet anxiety, borderline personality disorder, chronic pain, and also gender dysphoria. I’m just sad today. You know how it is when you feel okay in the morning but you know something is going to happen. That was me and look where I’m at now, going from crying uncontrollably to what’s my purpose? I have a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter. See you can have great things in life, but when these days hit me first thing in the morning and I sleep in, something is off. My mental illness such as anxiety and depression and everything else, my brain works differently. I’m very aware of my surroundings. Maybe it’s because I have a surgery coming up on Friday. I’m terrified especially since it’s on my back. I got dressed around 1130,am went to the store and grabbed a few groceries. Came home and I was just overwhelmed with everything, yet nothing was happening. My wife was doing laundry and we woke up on a good note. I don’t freaking get it. I feenlike a burden when I need help and or want attention. I like to feel wanted. Everyone should, am I right? I feel more upset because my wife expresses her concern but I don’t open up because I don’t like making her feel upset, especially when I am but I can’t express it. I am in therapy but at the same time my brain can’t rationalize. Also after surgery I’ll be out for 12 weeks. I pray and know it won’t last forever. I just don’t like asking for help and not being able to work. Also my wife is a teacher and she will be in the building for the weeks I’ll be home. I’m scared for her as well. My daughter will be around and so will a few family and friends. I just don’t want to feel like a burden because my mental illness doesn’t help as well. Any advice or any stories to help distract my mind would help.

Much love! #Depression #AnxietyDisorderNotOtherwiseSpecified #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Ed on way to lab. I’m resting at home with no one checking on me. They are coming later on to check my back and sinus infection. Who will give me hugs love n support? Leave messages of support n hugs I’m feeling scared n sick. #52SmallThings #Chatspace #Upallnight #Love #Hugs #Support #sad #MightyQuestions #MightyTogether #MightyMusic #MightyMoment #MightyThoughts #MightyMail #Mightyhumour #MightyMoment #MightyReviews #MightyBookClub #mightywarriors #TheMightyTakeaway #mightyartists #TheMighty #FlareUps #Selflove #Selfcare #Bipolar2Disorder #Fibromyaliga #Fibromyalgia #MightyPoets #Art #Photography #BeKind21 #30daysofselflove #Disability #Disabled #Hugs #CheckInWithMe #checkin #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #ADHD #Aspergers #Spoonie #Spoonies #Aspie #AspergersSyndrome #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BorderlineStigma #PTSD #CPTSD #CPTSDinrelationships #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #DatingWithAChronicIllness #Dating #Companionship #companion #Friends #Friendship #ServiceDogsForChronicPain #lonely #AnxietyDisorderNotOtherwiseSpecified #CPTSDinrelationships #FlareUps #BipolarDepression #DBT #why #Whoswithme #empath #Psychic #medium #ghosts #paranormal #Yoga #Sports #Fitness #PinchedNerve #PhysicalTherapy

Me who will check on me??hugs n support needed. #CheckInWithMe #checkin #checkinonme #MightyQuestions #MightyFeatures #MightyTogether #MightyBookClub #MightyCards #MightyMail #MightyReviews #TheMightyTakeaway #TheMighty #MightyFeatures #Chatspace #Fibromyaliga #FibromyalgiaDiagnosis #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #PTSD #CPTSDinrelationships #CPTSD #ADHD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlineStigma #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #Yoga #PinchedNerve #FibroFog #HashimotosThyroiditis #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Flu #COVID19 #ChronicPain #Love #Friends #Hugs #AnxietyDisorderNotOtherwiseSpecified #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #rest #resilience #strength #poets #MightyPoets #MightyMusic #musicians #Art #Photography #SupportGroups #Support #AspergersSyndrome #Aspie #Aspergers #Hope #god #Church #fighter #lover #Upallnight name some good shows movjes music and booms for me to devour?

Both of my parents and my elder brother are doctors. When I had to choose my subjects for 11th standard, I knew I don't want to choose PCB or PCM Or commerce for that matter. I had only one option left and that was humanities. I was quite happy with that if I am being honest. But my parents, especially my father was very persistent on making me choose Biology. I knew I didn't want to be a doctor so he scolded me, made me meet with people who would basically talk me into taking biology. I didn't bulge. So they went to our principal who is a good friend of my parents, he told them that if she takes up Biology she will flunk so it's better we give her an easier subject that was humanities. I was hurt by what he said but I was happy that atleast now I can do what I want. He told me if I am taking humanities I'll have to pursue law in college, I didn't want to that either but at that time I had no option than to nod to whatever he says because at that time all I cared was the subjects I had to opt for 11th, so I thought whatever will happen, will happen after 2 years so it can wait till then I'll just go with the flow. So I went with the flow. I scored a good percentage in 12th standard with those marks I could have gone to a great college for pursuing BA in psychology and I also got selected for the same. But my father came in, he said that BA is not course you will have to have a professional degree etc etc. He scolded me and what not. I was not happy. Now I am in 3rd year doing law, I feel as if I stuck. I have nowhere to go, nobody to talk to and nobody to believe me. MA in clinical psychology needs a bachelor degree in psychology which I don't have. I feel as if I trapped and I am unable to do anything. I am always reminded that I am a failure. The only thing that made me go all 7-8 years of depression was my career and now I am left with nothing. To all those people who feel struck in doing something and have a way out of it, please follow your heart. As for me I know where my heart is, but I don't know how do I get out of it. #MentalHealth #Depression #Anixous #AnxietyDisorderNotOtherwiseSpecified #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #PanicAttack #Angerissues

So Far So Good, Still Keeping A Positive Mind #AnxietyDisorderNotOtherwiseSpecified

I suffer from a lot of random anxiety and depression. But my support system is so bomb. Honesty if u need an ear, I’m here for you. I’ll listen and give feedback if needed/asked. You don’t have to suffer alone. Being alone is why makes it harder. Reach out. #AnxietyDisorderNotOtherwiseSpecified #AnxietyAttacks #Depression #Loneliness

I really struggle to fall asleep at night, on a good day it'll take me an hour but on a bad day I can try all night and get little to no sleep at all, so any help and advice would be really appreciated #InsomniaDisorder #SleepDeprivation #sleeplessnights

How do I explain to my kids why I can’t get out of bed? Why I can’t do things they want me to do? How do I not scar them for life or ruin their future because Mom is weak? How do I make a positive impact instead of a negative one?