Bipolar 1 Disorder

#BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder Every end of April until the end of May, I have this as I call in My "Bipolar rage". I become manic and I'm usually hypomanic for the better part of my life. I become this different person. I noticed this when I was 15 right before I was diagnosed I decided I wanted to become an actress and had to get to California. I made it to Pennsylvania from New York.
Every year I find myself driving for hours, finding myself out hiking, at the gym 2x a day, not sleeping well, or eating, filling my journal up with a bunch of thoughts scrambled into sentences. I drive irratic as I go from lane to lane getting into an accident 2 years ago because someone cut me off and I thought I could get around them. I get these racing thoughts of so many great ideas.
Yes I am in mania and although it's great for the first 2 days, it drags on for a month and it's overwhelming. By the time I get to get to a state of hypomania, my body feels like it's been abused.
This has been happening for 32 years now and today I talk about it because someone out there just might be going through the same thing. Maybe just maybe my story might help someone and that makes this all well worth it!

For me this has actually been a lifelong lesson. Amazing how 8 words of advice have been so hard for me to put into practice at times. Sadly in my life sometimes its taken for my body (and/or mind) to scream so loud that its been deafening enough for me to pay attention, yet I have found that even this can ebb & flow.

These days I'm pretty proud of how I’ve been taking care of myself. Its been basically 3+ years of very serious physical and mental struggles and I've learned that in the big picture no one else can take care of me and only I can deeply feel it when I don't.So I guess you could say I’ve been falling in love with myself!

*I've been eating much better (lots fruits, veggies & nuts especially...yet I love my milk and chocolate!)

*I’m exercising &/or doing home PT religiously. My spinal injuries have been part of that screaming voice quite a bit although its getting quieter, and as I told my first PT “I’m only going to get out of this what I put into it!” I've been at the gym regularly which is so empowering (plus its a really social place with great staff & members and I find it soooo mentally uplifting when I leave…knowing I'm taking care of myself)

*I actually was counting ounces of water I drank for a long while however now I'm doing great with that and carry bottles everywhere

*My holistic practice dropped off...then I found Box Breathing which I did before bed for awhile and I'm trying to get back to that, however I’ve found just stopping to breath and ground even for short moments throughout the day really makes a difference

*My spiritual practice is earth based and simple and so my church is nature and I pray to Great Spirit…my level of gratitude and reverence are stronger than ever!

*Now sleep...I will have to plead the fifth if I want to make other people happy about when I sleep, when I turns screens off, how much sleep I get etc…my stretch now is getting ENOUGH sleep and I'm exploring what my body can best function off with less meds. I've been very surprised how much less, yet in doing so I have maxxed myself out a lot recently! (its 6:00 am now, the birds are chirping as my music is lower. As a musician and deejay in college I never stopped being nocturnal. When I worked at the beach I always saw sunrises!!!... Then I went to sleep😉

Bottom line…

Life is a beautiful blessing, its a glorious day today, I got to see Mom & family for four days and that was good for my soul….and I'm going to keep smiling

Listen to your favorite music for a bit today
Go outside and wiggle your bare feet in the dirt
Eat a scrumptious piece of fruit or rich chocolate
HUG A FRIEND OR LOVED ONE…  or many…all day long!
(or a tree if you get out there and don't want to take your shoes off!

#MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar1 #Bipolar2 #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Disability #Selfcare #COVID19 #AddictionRecovery #Addiction #Arthritis #Headache #Migraine #Anxiety #Eczema #InsideTheMighty #Trauma #ADHD #Cancer #RareDisease #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BrainInjury #BackPain

For me this has actually been a lifelong lesson. Amazing how 8 words of advice have been so hard for me to put into practice at times. Sadly in my life sometimes its taken for my body (and/or mind) to scream so loud that its been deafening enough for me to pay attention, yet I have found that even this can ebb & flow.

These days I'm pretty proud of how I’ve been taking care of myself. Its been basically 3+ years of very serious physical and mental struggles and I've learned that in the big picture no one else can take care of me and only I can deeply feel it when I don't.So I guess you could say I’ve been falling in love with myself!

*I've been eating much better (lots fruits, veggies & nuts especially...yet I love my milk and chocolate!)

*I’m exercising &/or doing home PT religiously. My spinal injuries have been part of that screaming voice quite a bit although its getting quieter, and as I told my first PT “I’m only going to get out of this what I put into it!” I've been at the gym regularly which is so empowering (plus its a really social place with great staff & members and I find it soooo mentally uplifting when I leave…knowing I'm taking care of myself)

*I actually was counting ounces of water I drank for a long while however now I'm doing great with that and carry bottles everywhere

*My holistic practice dropped off...then I found Box Breathing which I did before bed for awhile and I'm trying to get back to that, however I’ve found just stopping to breath and ground even for short moments throughout the day really makes a difference

*My spiritual practice is earth based and simple and so my church is nature and I pray to Great Spirit…my level of gratitude and reverence are stronger than ever!

*Now sleep...I will have to plead the fifth if I want to make other people happy about when I sleep, when I turns screens off, how much sleep I get etc…my stretch now is getting ENOUGH sleep and I'm exploring what my body can best function off with less meds. I've been very surprised how much less, yet in doing so I have maxxed myself out a lot recently! (its 6:00 am now, the birds are chirping as my music is lower. As a musician and deejay in college I never stopped being nocturnal. When I worked at the beach I always saw sunrises!!!... Then I went to sleep😉

Bottom line…

Life is a beautiful blessing, its a glorious day today, I got to see Mom & family for four days and that was good for my soul….and I'm going to keep smiling

Listen to your favorite music for a bit today
Go outside and wiggle your bare feet in the dirt
Eat a scrumptious piece of fruit or rich chocolate
HUG A FRIEND OR LOVED ONE…  or many…all day long!
(or a tree if you get out there and don't want to take your shoes off!

#MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar1 #Bipolar2 #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Disability #Selfcare #COVID19 #AddictionRecovery #Addiction #Arthritis #Headache #Migraine #Anxiety #Eczema #InsideTheMighty #Trauma #ADHD #Cancer #RareDisease #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BrainInjury #BackPain