Stigmas surrounding eating disorders makes it even harder for people to heal.
It took me a while to realize that my schedule and daily plans all evolved around how many calories I was eating/drinking, and that realization was a bit concerning. When 'making progress' meant I was now able to go out and eat in a restaurant or drink outside with my friends, that's when I knew something was off: I was struggling with a problem I couldn't identify and I had no idea why or how I ended up like that.
Some behaviors such as obsessively counting calories every day by tracking each food and its macros (and feeling anxious if you don't), avoiding social situations not to drink too many calories or eat "junk food", eating the same every day and not being able to bear with changes (having your 'safe food/safe products), weighting both yourself and your food every day or multiple times a week, these are all symptoms of an eating disorder (sidenote: I do not intend to diagnose anyone, it's just for context).
When we think of 'eating disorder', most of us have a certain idea of how someone struggling with it might look like: most of the times, it's either the very thin person or the very heavy one, no in-between. Although these characteristics might be true in many scenarios, they are absolutely not the only ones. Anybody can struggle with one, regardless of your weight, size and shape, and this is something I wasn't aware of, which is exactly what invalidated my daily struggle. I didn't look like someone struggling with an eating disorder or how they portray it on the media, so nobody could really tell something was wrong with my behavior, not even myself!
This is a reminder that if you feel that you're anxious all the time about what you're going to eat next, if food worries you too much and you feel like your life might be changing or even depending on it, if you can't stop thinking about it, or if you're constantly body checking, please ask for help or talk about it. I know it's hard to do so, specially with these stigmas or people trying to tell you "you look healthier now", and it might be even harder to share it if it's something you're not sure of (undiagnosed or mild symptoms). My inbox is open to chat if you feel like you're ready to share, and so is the comment section so we can all support each other. Stay strong!