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Hi, it’s been a year #Anxiety #FunctioningDepression

Well holy moly, it’s been a year since I’ve posted anything on this app. So, let me reintroduce myself…Hi again! My name is Emily. I’m now twenty seven years old and like many, I still struggle with depression, anxiety and other parts of the emotional rollercoaster called LIFE.

I feel over the past year, parts of me have gotten better at dealing with my highs and lows. I don’t feel I dip as low as I used to or hit high peaks as often as I once did either. I find I’m starting to manage being in the middle of it all. Which I guess is good? I’ve spent many years chasing a happiness that I thought every person had to constantly be. But that’s not how life is. I’ve found people who seem overly happy-go-lucky all the time really annoy me.. because it’s so far from any type of real. At least in my opinion. But atlas, here I am. Im learning to be okay with not being okay some days and also accepting just being. Now don’t get me wrong, some days can be significantly more difficult than others..but, overall I feel more at peace with myself than I have in forever. That may also be due to the fact that im getting older. Whatever the case, im happy to just be and to understand that it’s okay to be just as I am. Im not an overly happy person, but im also not as sad and gloomy as I once was. Im just here. Going through the motions. Trying to live and “adult” as we all do. Yea, I do have happy moments and times, but that doesn’t have to be always. And that’s completely okay. Hope everyone is doing well. Hopefully I’ll make more of an effort to post more again. #ChasingLife #Adulting #Anxiety #MoodDisorders #DepressionIsABitch #Cheers

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Turning 35 #BirthdayGirl

On February 22nd I turned 35. My birthday party was on the 20th. I have not really much had changed. However, I know that #Family is everything. I have been through so much this year. I have been on #Disability for so long.

I realized that it takes time to heal. It was clear that it would take more than a month to recover from years of not getting on the right #Medicine . I thought about how my old #PsychiatricMedication did not work for me. My #Psychiatrists office was horrible. Now that I am in a new practice, I am feeling much better. I am beyond #thankful that things are the way they are right now.

I may not be where I used to be, but I know I am heading where I want to be. I seek #stability in my life. I know we all do. We want to be able to handle issues, problems, grief or loss in better ways than we have for years. #stayingpositive is key to moving forward, but #stayingcalm is another story also. It takes a lot to think positive because it's so easy to be naturally driven to negativity.

Imagine, you hit your toe against the side corner of a table... Yet someone is telling you you're beautiful at the same time. Which are you going to think about more? The voice of the one telling you you're beautiful, or the toe that has sooting pulsating pain up your leg into your brain? This is like #NegativeThinking in action for someone like me.

So... #Cheers to making it to 35. I pray that God helps my Dad's health, and the rest of my family's health. I pray for peace and comfort in times of pain. I pray for my Dad to be #CancerFree and I pray for all who are reading this message.

I may be all over the place tonight.. but I know that #BipolarDepression can only make me stronger.

God Bless You.
So say we all.


Self medicating tonight.

I know how wrong it is to self medicate using whatever is available, but the only thing that seems to shut of my brain lately, to fall asleep at a decent hour, for more than a couple hours, is alcohol. So here's to a hellish day at work tomorrow due to Cristobal #Cheers. #Upallnight


#Cheers to That Coronavirus 19 NOT!#

This is My Poem on My Personal Thoughts and Experience of the Coronavirus 19.

#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#
Some People in lockdown
Some People in shut down
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#

People snitchy and short at others whilst others
snatching toilet papers from others
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#

others going slightly insane
by having to stay at home
whilst othas finding new activities to come by they neva would've thought of doing or even possibly enjoy
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#

They seemed to say that we are all in this together
but I can't help but feel that in some ways yeah we are
all in this together
yet we are not all in this together
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#

Some of the strongest people You wouldn't think of would be so worried and concerned
and the ones You would think of having the most anxiety and concern don't seem to be
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#

Some people have tested positive by you
and others have tested negative by you
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#

I think the Biggest
feeling that people are finding extra hard
is the connection from family, friends, groups and
the outside world on a
and the way there lives
have been drastically
changed altered and
controlled by anotha
source and force
and that is all
thanks to You
so #Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#
#Cheers to that Coronavirus 19 NOT!#

For Me personally
I've had varied emotions and
feelings about it all
Some of them
being it all quiet
mental then a bit in Your
face then to be tested
Thankfully a negative but then there's the flip side that I
feel that it can't be
changed it is wat it is
if Your going to get it You
will and its better
that it came about
in today's world with
all the varied technologies to keep in touch
with families friends or professionals that
have to be seen so
in kind of a way Maybe
the change this may
bring is a bit more
kindness less selfishness
and more gratitude
for the things we
do have in Our Lives
ratha than always looking
outside for Something
more when in reality
alot of things are
right at our front door.

So #Cheers to that
Coronavirus 19 NOT!#
#Cheers to that
Coronavirus 19 NOT!#

'29 April
2020 .'