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Sometimes I Just Need A Hug #chronicmentalillness #ChronicPain

Sometimes, the sensation of being held is much more important than anything else to someone suffering from mental illnesses. The feeling of warmth and security that comes with a hug is reassuring to people that are reaching out for a mental life preserver.
I have been so stressed today. My mental health is precarious but I have been taking my medication and I have an appointment with my doctor. I also need to be held. I want to be held. I’m afraid to ask for multiple reasons that I can’t get into on a public forum. Suffice it to say that this is why I like I believe having pets or stuffed animals around would be helpful.
I’m going to keep breathing and keep praying. I’ll get through this.


How do you talk your way off of the ledge..

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months (I'm also bipolar), ever since we we've been together I've been on this manic high. Well, like every high episode comes the low episode which is harder than anything to function with. Unfortunately, it was his birthday this weekend & I wanted to do what girlfriends do & be with him. Inorder for me to stop having panic attacks I drank a lil to much & I didn't make it look good on him because I disappeared to go throw up & never came back out, I passed out. I've told him how sorry I am & yeah, I did fuck up. I now know that he will never understand what this disease does to you because he kept on with the same thing over & over again. I don't think we are or will be together anymore. This really fucked with my psyche. I guess I'm meant to be by myself. He was the 1st man I had been with since my ex husband in 2016. Am I not worthy to have someone love me & understand that this disease is not easy on anybody especially the person that has to deals & tries to conquer every demon everyday??

I'm so heartbroken....

#MentalIllness #Bipolar #BipolarDisoder #Manic #depressive #PTSD #SocialAnxiety #Insomnia #Insomniac #highs #Lows #Disease #chronicmentalillness

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I have never been to “war”

I dedicate this story to Dr. Richard Barnum: Thank you for guiding me through the roughest of waters.

PTSD is the black hole that lives in my mind. It is so greatly overpowering and it’s darkness consumes me every day of my life. This powerful monster consists of all of the memories, all of the trauma, all of the pain and every thing that I have lost.
I received the diagnosis of PTSD when I was very young, and at that time, I didn’t accept it; there are sometimes when I still don’t accept it. I didn’t want to believe it was true.
“But I have never been to war.”
This is what I said and still stay when I don’t want to believe what happened to me.
It varies day to day, some days, I accept and I know that these experiences have left me so broken that there is no way to ever piece me back together. Other days I paint a smile on my face, wipe the tears from my eyes and I say it was nothing. The truth is, it was something.
I carry all my broken pieces around with me, just as I carry my belongings; they never leave me, not even when I close my eyes to sleep. There is no rest to the emptiness and there is no end to the memories; I know they will never stop and I know that they are forever my burden and nobody else’s. I see in the world that I am not the only one. I am not the only one in the world who is left haunted by evil ghosts. Living with PTSD is not something I talk about, but maybe it is time to start.
I may have never been to war, but I have looked death in the eyes with fear in mine. I have had my mouth taped shut and my words silenced. I felt my heart break in half as everything I knew was ripped from my hands. It has taken me over ten years to sit down and speak of my demons because I am someone who likes to pretend that there is nothing wrong. It took me so long because I was frightened at what I knew I would feel. I was frightened to look into the eyes of these demons who have never left my side.
When I look in the mirror I see a short girl with messy hair and hazel, yellow eyes. Behind my eyes live those ghosts that I never speak of. The ghosts of the past. But I am not alone. You are not alone. Don't lose your voice as I lost mine. It is OKAY to have feelings, it is OKAY to cry, it is OKAY to be haunted, but it is not okay to be alone. I strongly believe that help is the best solution to living with PTSD. It doesn’t take the pain or the memories away, but it gives you some solitude. Every month I see my psychiatrist at least twice and he has saved my life. I speak to him about my problems and even though they may have nothing to do with my PTSD, it helps to speak out, I pray for everyone suffering and I send them all of my love. More than anything, I send them a message. A message that says: you are not alone.

#PTSD #MentalHealth #mentalhealthwarrior #warrior #notalone #help #TalkAboutIt #letyourvoicebeheard #chronicmentalillness #ChronicIllness


I need some kind words 😌 #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety

I’m doing pretty rough, partially due to the fact that I’ve forgotten my antidepressant 5 or 6 times in the past 6weeks. The more I forget the worse I feel, the worse I feel the more I forget >.< lol I know some of you can relate.
The moral of the story, I feel like a lump of unflavored jello and would appreciate some encouragement. I had been doing so much better with my MIs for about a year, but after showering for the first time in 5-6 days and not changing my leggings for 3, I think I’m going to have to go back to therapy.
(just so you all know, I’m not suicidal, just very... floppy)
#ChronicIllness as a teenager - it sucks

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Lackadaisical Wanderlust #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #ADD

My anxiety is through the roof because I have to travel with enough medication to last from August to #chronicmentalillness Christmas. That means I am aware that I am going to be living in the Middle East where mental health is indeed taboo; nonetheless, I bravely pushed through the dirty looks at the pharmacy when I filled my 180 count of Adderall, Zoloft, and Xanax.
I explained and produced proof for the quantity of medication to customs in four countries. I still was not ashamed of my conditions.


Sharing my #Selfcare go-tos! Tell me yours too!

In no particular order
(Things I do when I need a moment of peace or joy during a hard time)

Take a bath
Do my nails
Drink peppermint tea
Stretch a bit
Go for a walk outside
iPhone photography
Writing poetry
Using my weighted blanket
Listening to outside sounds.
Sitting on my dock
Watching silly tv shows
Sing along with my favorite songs
Petting my cat
Reading nonfiction
Reading about my favorite authors and artists on Wikipedia
Re reading a favorite book
Making a fire in the fireplace
Being near my boyfriend
Listening to my boyfriend practicing guitar
Riding in a car
Playing card games
Focusing on my breathing
Using my five senses to stay grounded
Walking my dog
Taking a shower
Playing with thinking putty
Talking to a close friend
Getting some sunshine
Listening to music
Listening to podcasts
Drinking sipping chocolate
Wearing fuzzy socks
Wearing comfy pants
Rocking in a rocking chair
Trying to do something nice for someone
Looking at old photos
Looking at art on Instagram
Using a heating pad on my shoulders
Putting som lavender or peppermint oil on

That’s all I can think of but I have more.
I’ll post more if I think of them

What are your go to self care tips for when you’re having a bad day??

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #AnxietyDisorder #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Manic #BipolarObsessiveness #Bipolaranxiety #MixedState #RapidCyclingBipolarDisorder #InvisibleIllness #ChronicIllness #chronicmentalillness #Mentalhealthselfcare #Myselfcare #bekindtoyourselves #MentalHealthDays


Dealing with suicidal thoughts

How do you cope when suicidal thoughts attack? I feel afraid of myself 'cause I might harm myself when I am alone :(( #Depression #chronicmentalillness  #suicidal