coping

I know what it's like to be lost, alone, and broken. My battle with depression began in high school, after my family discovered my grandmother had stage four cancer. It was my first real loss — and I didn't know how to carry it. I thought being strong meant being silent, that therapy and support wouldn't help, that no one could possibly understand.

As the years went on, my world grew quieter. The words, music, and poetry that once gave me life began to fade. Those were my darkest days — days when I wondered if living was worth it at all.

Looking back, I wish I'd had a world that made trauma normal — that said it's okay to break, to stumble, to rebuild not because a story demands it, but because it's simply what surviving looks like. I wished for a space to remember the people I'd lost and a way to let my pain go — not into silence, but into something shared.

That world didn't exist for me.

So I started writing—not to sell anything or promote anything, but to build a place where pain didn’t have to stay hidden.#coping #Grief #Depression

Everyday for nearly two years I've smiled when I was dying inside. I've joked when everything inside me settled in a thousand pieces rising up only when anxiety choked it back to the surface. I've given words of motivation to others when I was literally looking over the edge praying for the courage to jump. I've worn so many masks that I still haven't gotten down to my shattered original face. I won't tell you all I've done to help me to cope, I can't cause I don't really know. I don't think of the anxieties of this day and leave the others for their days I put all my mental energy into the mantra, "You can't fall cause you won't get back up this time." I pray and God feeds me spiritually what I need to make it not to the next hurdle, obstacle, moment, step, day, or minute but the NEXT BREATH. I convince myself daily that I'm unworthy of redemption. That the nothingness that I am isn't worthy of anybody. I'm struggling but I know it. If everyday you wear the mask of I'm okay and you are not you're not fooling anyone especially the ones of us also wearing the masks...welcome to our group. #masks #nothingness #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #coping #Notes #welcome

So my therapist diagnosed me with OCD. Phew- a relief because now there's nothing fundamentally wrong with me. But what do I do next? Any practical suggestions on how to deal with the feelings of:

1. extreme people pleasing,

2. feeling like you're constantly being watched and judged

3. Constantly feeling misunderstood

4. Persistent feelings of loneliness, isolation and alienation and preoccupation with social connections

5. Debilitating fear of failure

#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #coping

#DistractMe #coloring#coping #TV women's sports #chronic pain#fibromyalgia#breast cancer survivor 21 years #Stand up comedy#clowning#Public speaking for MH Coloring and women's sports on TV help me gain focus. CALM!

I recently started exploring different music. I'm currently obsessed with Livingston. He's really good.

What music is on your playlist?

#Music #coping #MentalHealth