Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)

Hi, my name is Beryl907. I'm looking for community and resources related to Long COVID, dysautonomia/POTS, ME/CFS, and chronic illness.

#MightyTogether #AutismSpectrumDisorder #ADHD #Depression

Migraine, POTS, and Now Long COVID: What’s the Connection?

www.migraineagain.com/migraine-pots-long-covid-connection-

"Still Growing"

My childhood was simple.

The earliest memory I have is from when I was three. I remember looking around my room, completely mesmerized by my toys. It was the first time I could really retain memories and understand what my parents were saying. I think they were at their happiest then—because I felt no fear. Everything was peaceful, yet full of wonder.

I remember how big the world seemed. My ceiling felt so high, like I’d never be able to reach it, not even in my dreams. When I was four, I used to lie on the couch pretending to be asleep, just so my mom would take my picture. I liked making her laugh. I remember cutting my own hair once, and surprisingly, she didn’t get mad—because I’d actually done a good job.

When I was six, school became the best part of my day. I loved dressing up in cute shoes and fancy clothes. Every day felt like a fashion show, and I didn’t care—I loved it. Everyone in my class dressed like that. It was just the norm, and I felt like I belonged. Back then, everyone got along. Everyone was your friend. No one felt lonely.

But when did that change? When did people start pulling away?

So many people I once called friends are strangers now. Why is that? Growing up, I was happy. I never felt stressed—only joy. I felt beautiful. I felt pretty. Even the shows I used to watch seemed full of magic. Now when I look back, I feel sad. Is that a sign I’m getting older? I don’t know. I can’t remember everything anymore. Where did those memories go? Why did they leave me?

I don’t want them to. I still want to feel what I felt back then.

Mid Childhood

Then people started drifting away.

My friends left, one by one. I didn’t understand why. They laughed at me sometimes. Did I say something wrong? Was it how I looked? Maybe that’s when my anxiety started. I used to love attention, but suddenly I couldn’t stand it. Was I the problem?

My best friend stopped hanging out with me. I never got an explanation. I kept asking myself: Was it something I said? Something I did?

And then came the biggest loss of all—my abuela. I had never lost a person before. I couldn’t fully grasp it. It didn’t feel real. I didn’t cry, not at first. But I remember crying myself to sleep one night. That was the first time I ever felt truly vulnerable.

I started wishing I didn’t have to grow up. Because if I stayed young, I wouldn’t have to lose anyone else. I thought maybe if I stayed little, my family would stay together. I didn’t want change. I didn’t want to be separated.

Then COVID hit, and everything changed again. I had no friends, no school, no connection. I felt completely alone. But then we got a dog. She was the sweetest, and for a while, she gave me joy. But the fear of death stayed with me.

That was also the time I started hearing more about romantic and sexual relationships. It felt confusing, overwhelming—like I had been thrown into something I wasn’t ready for.

Late Childhood

I was first introduced to the idea of homosexuality around this time. I started questioning myself. Was I gay? Did I like girls? I became close with a girl in my class—my first best friend in that new environment. We did everything together. I could tell she liked me. Did I like her too? I told myself I did… but I wasn’t sure. Was I just trying to fit in with what I saw online? Was I trying to follow a trend?

She also introduced me to the concept of self-harm. She said it was a way to cope. But I couldn’t believe that—hurting yourself as a way to feel better? It didn’t feel right.

Until something else happened.

One day, a man talked about me—about my body—right in front of me. It was suggestive. Gross. I didn’t know how to react. I felt sick. Disgusted. Scared. I don’t even know what emotion it really was. But I felt violated.

And it didn’t just happen once. It happened multiple times. Each time, I wanted to shrink away and disappear. I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about it because the topic was too taboo. I felt stuck, ashamed, terrified. I started to hurt myself. I cried myself to sleep. I isolated myself even more—not because I hated people, but because I hated the way they looked at me.

No, not me—my body.

Early Teens

This is when I felt the most depressed.

The more my body developed, the more comments I got. I was afraid. So I cut my hair. And for the first time in years, I felt safe again. People stopped looking at me "that" way. I felt like I could breathe. But people also started treating me like an outsider. They looked at me weird. I didn’t care at first—but then it started to hurt.

I began questioning my identity more seriously. I liked how I looked when I dressed like a boy. But was it a defense mechanism? Or was it who I really was?

For three years, I didn’t know who I was. Was I a girl? A boy? Something else? I hated being seen as a woman. I still do. It feels like a label forced onto me, one that comes with pain and expectation.

Teen Years

Eventually, I went on my first date. I started growing my hair out again, dressing more femininely. I felt like I was reclaiming something—like I was slowly becoming stronger, safer.

But then the world reminded me how fragile that safety was.

The guy I went out with made comments—sexual ones. Right away. I wanted to disappear. Why is it so important to some men to talk about sex? Why is that the first thing they see in a girl?

Why did it have to be me?

I went home and sat in the shower, crying. I cried because I felt powerless again. I cried because I just wanted to go back—to when life was simple, when I didn’t have to think about things like this.

I cried again when I realized I was growing up.

More was expected of me now. More responsibility. More pain. If this is what growing up means—finding a man, getting married, having children—then maybe I don’t want it. Maybe I just want to be happy.

Does that make me lazy? Or… am I just still growing?

It took literal years to get my POTS manageable. I had to fight with insurance to get my medicine at an affordable price. Last year I was finally able to get it and was able to be come mostly stable. Then, after avoiding it for 5 years, COVID finally caught up to me and I tested positive for the first time. Since then my POTS has worsened and my treatment isn’t effective. I’ve been to see the cardiologist and had tests done. Waiting for a return call because based on the note I read in my patient portal they will probably increase my medicine to hopefully get it back in control. I’m just frustrated and other emotions I don’t have words for. I don’t have a specific reason to post other than to vent, give a heads up to others, and just tell someone who understands.

Hello everyone, I have been dealing with long Covid since February 2024. I have gotten better since but still have several health issues and bad flares almost daily.

I have been doing alot of reading on the connection between chronic stress, childhood trauma, and chronic illnesses like long Covid. I believe my long Covid symptoms got significantly worse after periods of chronic stress and trauma.

I know that my nervous system was hanging on by a thread before I had Covid. I believe I got long Covid partly due to the virus and due to previous trauma in childhood and adulthood.

What do you guys think of this idea? Do you think you were struggling emotionally or mentally prior to having long Covid? Did you have years of chronic stress and trauma as a child? I want to hear others experiences

#longcovid #Childhoodtrauma #ChronicIllness #Healing

Hi, my name is OrangeCatzMama. I'm here because I am one who was born with fibromyalgia. I also have full body arthritis in every joint, this was found at 43. My pain level was bad at that time, but I just kept pushing on. It took me blowing out 3 cervical disks at once to bring the Fibro to the top. That's when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but the doctor soon figured out that I had had it all along. All my weird "quirks" weren't me seeking attention, but were things that I actually felt. Duh? Now, I'm a widow, I was not able to conceive due to endometriosis, so we had no children, nor did I have siblings. My parents passed in 2010. My husband in 2023 from Alzheimer's. He had 3 children, but only one has really kept in touch, with me regularly since he died. My husband's sibs have not made any contact with me since his funeral. There's no attempt to understand my pain issues. The oldest daughter (& son hasn't spoken to me since he left the cemetery in 2023) accuses me of not trying to be with her, always being late or cancelling out, blah, blah. Okay, we all know how cold weather, holidays, anxiety affects our Fibromyalgia. To top it off, I have to drive over an hour, heavy traffic (panic attacks) to get to the Thanksgiving meal at Noon. I went out on disability in 2008 for the Fibromyalgia, nerve damage, inability to work. Also, the family that I am going to spend the holidays with is my late husband's ex-wife's HUGE FAMILY!!!🙀🙀 I only know like 4 of the sisters, but have NO IDEA WHO the others are! We were married 34 yrs. They were married 11 yrs. We were not always friendly, but after their last daughter became an adult, things got better. After my husband died, they opened their arms to me to come to their meals. I also suffer from paralyzing anxiety when I am in closed-in crowds, like in a house or small room with a bunch of strangers. As long as I had my Daddy, then my husband to be with, I could control the panic. Now, both of them are gone and the anxiety keeps me home a lot. I'm realizing how bad my anxiety has gotten again just recently. Sorry, I just needed to vent my frustration with my step kids not caring or trying to reach out to me. But I am told by them that I am supposed to be making the effort to do their plans, without regards to my "convenient & not so bad" pain. The oldest daughter has some strange ideas about illnesses, self healing through diet, positive thinking would make my "pain" disappear, she's very diabetic but refuses to see a doctor or take meds for her condition. She got into this weird thinking during Covid. It's just getting more bizarre, but she won't listen to anyone else. She's right and we are all wrong! 🤬🤬🤬 Sorry this is so long.

#MightyTogether #Fibromyalgia #Anxiety #Depression #Grief #PTSD #Migraine

5 ways to reduce COVID holiday disappointment for kids
5 ways to reduce COVID holiday disappointment for kids