Anxiety for my kid even in a pretty place
Health related PTSD has brought me to my knees.
I'm very glad to be here!
I suffer from health related PTSD from childhood..and ever since covid I'm a mess.
To make everything worse since my second covid vaccine I have a facial rash that keeps coming back and now a horrible rash on upper chest.
No one knows what to do and I will be seeing an alternative natural practitioner for blood work and hopefully help with this mast cell disorder.
I am so OCD now that I'm wearing myself out.
If anyone has any experience with these vaccine rashes I would love to hear about it.
I do have a therapist, but now it's by phone and helps only a little.
Thanks for allowing me to join💓
I wrote this back when COVID first hit and we were sheltered in place🖊✌️
I've been sitting at home due to the shelter in place about to go crazy walking the same trace. I have never seen something so brazen and bold, COVID-19 will grab and take hold; black, white, young or old it doesn’t discriminate we’re all a foe! It has taken so many away COVID-19 is the devil today! We may never be the same again so just keep praying and praying Amen! Maybe we can defeat him today but knowing the devil he’ll try and stay .... God is stronger than him any day we will fight this battle as we pray! We’ll rejoice in victory when the battle is won. We will thank God for HIS only Son.... because without HIM we’d lose for sure but our God is powerful, solid and pure! The battle will rage for a little while more, until God’s children have come home for sure! HE will patiently wait for that day, for us to come back along the way! The way HE wanted from the start ALL HIS children never will part! We will spend forever with HIM and never have to battle again! Goodbye devil it’s the end of your reign, we have endured enough of your pain! So we’re saying to you our last farewell; you ferocious demon, go back to hell!
Hope you enjoyed this 😁
The last time I saw you hangs in the form of a dress on my bedroom door. Dec. 2018 – your high school graduation.
The last time I saw your face, spoke to you, if you can call it that, though we didn’t really have a conversation because you were (are) still mad at me, justifiably so since I broke your trust – something I swore I would never do.
The fuchsia dress I wore to your winter graduation still hangs there as a symbol of loss, memories, embarrassment, regret, hope, (your middle name), and hopelessness. I can’t put it away for two reasons – my closet in the master bedroom has an underground water leak so there’s a horrible damp smell there.
And my two closets in the spare room are full.
But I don’t really want to put it away. Though it has been gathering dust, I keep it there as a reminder of when we last saw each other, that I got to see you graduate from high school after all you went through with your health for sixteen years, when, I believe, God chose to heal you after so many visits to specialists.
It’s a gorgeous dress that really belongs on someone worthy of wearing it. Not someone like me who betrayed your trust by posting photos of your entire life on social media for all to see without asking your permission or your adoptive mom. I was just so proud, so proud to be your birth mom and since we had a semi-open adoption I thought it was okay. I was defensive in my soul.
You’re my daughter, I reasoned, and I honestly thought to the depths of my being that you would be so happy to see them proudly displayed on my Facebook page all these years that you would embrace our lack of #Relationships and cry tears of joy.
But, that’s not what happened. Not at all.
You were embarrassed. Ashamed. Appalled.
I was stunned. Couldn’t you see I was just so proud of you?
I heard about your reaction through your adoptive mom as I always heard about your reactions since we didn’t have that kind of communication between the two of us.
It was devastating. I voluntarily took all the recent pictures down, a tedious process, doing so with purpose, knowing it was hurting you but with also much pain for me. Then I told your adoptive mom and wrote you a forgive me letter, letting you know that I never meant to hurt you and that the last thing in the world I wanted to do was cause you harm.
I don’t know if you ever got the letter. All I know is that was almost two years ago and birthdays, holidays, Mother’s Days, and many special occasions have passed since and no forgiveness has come.
On Aug. 15 you turn 22 and dropped out of college your sophomore year.
You’ve had a great life, thank God, one that I could never provide. Since we had a semi-open adoption I got to see you two to three times a year and it was wonderful. And now with the #COVID19, not only do I have the fear that you might catch it at school, but I’m so scared that you will never forgive me and something will happen to one of us before you decide to speak to me again.
I wish so much that I could just see you and talk to you. Sometimes I pray that somehow you’ll just know or sense my intentions and forgive me.
Everyone says you’ll come around.
But what if you don’t?
I placed you for adoption to give you a fantastic life and you have had one. It was kismet that you had two nurses for parents who were able to tend to your health condition, something I could not do. And now that you have been healed for four years and thriving, I marvel, as I always have at what you will do next.
Somehow I have to be okay if I have to go the rest of my life without you speaking to me.
But for today, as you say good-bye to your teens, the fuchsia dress still hangs on my bedroom door, in wait.
Mast cell after covid vaccine
Hi I am new and needing to know if anyone has suffered a rash that was ongoing after covid vex,
Eight days after second vaccine I developed a terrible facial rash that itched and burned.
The rash was treated with ice and antihistamines and resolved, but returned every time I tried to stop or lower antihistamines.
Now I have a terrible rash on upper chest!
I need some hope..please anyone.
Thank you💓 #mast cell rash after covid vaccine
Today I said my last farewells to my best friend (and “FavoritePerson”) as she and her husband are relocating from MA to GA.
If that wasn’t hard enough, I got home from that to a phone call from my brother. My dad, who has been in the hospital and rehab after extensive abdominal surgery to repair a failed hernia repair surgery. We really thought he was going to bounce back when he was moved to a better rehab. But he took a turn for the worse - got COVID on top of a raging infection in his abdomen and pneumonia. His body just couldn’t take it. Life support was stopped and he was gone at 11:56am Arizona Time. I live in MA and was already planning to go out there this coming week. I was too late to get one last hug.
I’m at a total loss as to how to deal with all this grief. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #c -PTSD #Grief
Do all teens think like me?
When i was a 5th grader i used to think all these things in my head, i was a skinny child who could easily make friends and fit into groups. As i grew i didn't knew i would change into an introvert. But i didn't seem to care in 9th grade, i couldn't small talk. Then i found about something called a personality type, i already knew few of my traits so out of curiosity about finding about my true self i started studying my personality type the INTJ (or the INFJ i am not quite sure).
These past years have been incredibly weird. During the covid lockdown i changed.
I lost interest in everything tried to study but got bored, listening to music got boring, even watching tv or youtube got boring but i had nothing to do so i just sat watching things on tv everyday for a year.
I don't know what it was, i thought it was my hormones, or it could be i was depressed. I am never sure and i found out that i over think things(one of the worst traits people can have).
Now i am here, this year my dad passed away. I cried but i didn't miss him. I have a thinking that people pass away and thats how life works, i had told myself that since 9th grade. I would never do something to my body just to increase my life span, i even started working out to stay healthy(it didn't end well, i stopped when we switched homes and now i just feel nausea and dizziness after working out). But few days back as always i tried talking to someone about my inside personal thing, things i have never shared to anyone cause I don't have friends. Lets keep that aside for the moment, i talked to my mom but as always it failed. I think why couldn't i get a mom who understood and so today i cried after waking up realizing that all my traits have come from my dad and now i don't have anyone to share this to.
So i am writing here thinking maybe someone will understand.
I know it is long passage but i just wanna know if there really are people like me, who can understand me.