I do have hope that one day a cure for MS will be found but it might be too late for me unless it can heal a damaged brain not just stop the process.
My first MRI, pre diagnosis showed a tiny white spot in the middle of my brain and I have not looked at them since I broke my neck 4 years ago, it’s just too hard to take in but I know its affecting my white matter, front horn has most of the damage. White matter is what controls your body functions, including breathing and keeping our hearts beating.
So I feel like I HAVE gone from incurable to terminal considering the most likely outcome.
This has been a hell of a year, I lost MY dog last year and then I lost my other dog early this year, they were my protectors but also my friends, then I had a major relapse, followed by EColi from eating lettuce and possible surgery on my legs to repair my tendons that have strained due to spasticity, surgery which I am not sure I can survive. I been sicker than usual every single day this year, I am physically weak.
I have tho been living with MS for about 20-25 years, so I do consider myself blessed, for the time given (even if at times the pain was unbearable) I been married 3 times, which has kept it interesting and I been rescuying dogs that simply had no chance due to the abuse and neglect and they have been my joy of life, my purpose. I have a dog with severe PTSD, scars everywhere, he was a stud bc he is so cute and I burn with anger at the people that hurt him.
I have rescued 3 dogs like this, two others I literally got off the euthanasia table, one terminal and a 3 month puppy who got run over and the owners couldn’t afford to pay for surgery to fix him, he lived 16 years and was my doggie soulmate. I can’ rescue MANY dogs but I know I have made a difference in the life of these dogs even if their lifes were short. I have made many mistakes but this I got right.
My point is, yes MS blows but we still make a difference in the world and we are important to many, we matter. Lives have been saved and hopefully I have inspired others. We did not pick this, we didn’t do it to ourselves, we had no choice and little explanation.
I know that I am still going to fight and NOT give up and when I HAVE to go I will not go quietly. I would like to grow older, grayer, more wrinkld and spend many quiet years with my husband and doggies, I fight for all of us.
Please continue the research that has brought great advances on caring for brain disorders but please, we must find a cure!
#Findacure #Pain #MS