Spring cleaning today I found several skirts. I would like to wear them however How do i stop "my body" reacting to the trauma i experienced in the past with wearing skirts.
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I can’t tell if I’m losing more hair than normal , but I absolutely understand split ends, but I’m curious about normal hair going dry, and what I can do to get it better condition beyond getting a good cut. Especially because it’s super #Anxiety #Flashback #PanicAttacks #CPTSD #Ssdi #Hair #sad
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If something triggers a flashback, do people instantly jump into the part of the trauma that connects to the trigger? For example if a window broke during the trauma and you hear shattering glass in the presents, does it make you experience that windrow breaking part of the trauma? Or could it jump to a completely different part of the traual no matter what trigger it is? #PTSD #Flashback #question
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How do you know the difference? Sometimes I have a memory…it’s not necessarily like I’m reliving it but it’s all I see and it’s like I’m watching it. Kind of virtual reality or that…I lose touch with the outside world and all I see is the memory like I have a headset and it’s playing in front of me. But it’s not like I am reliving it, just watching it happen very vividly. I have had full blown flashbacks—rare but I have where it was like first person and I was living it. There are more like watching it like a movie. Is it an intrusive memory or a flashback? # intrusivememory #Flashback #PTSD
There’s something around my neck.
I reach to get it off, but I can’t find it.
It has to be there.
But I can’t find it.
Where is it?
I can feel it.
It’s tightening.
But it’s not there.
And that’s when I realize I’m having a flashback.
Physical flashbacks feel so real. They’re jarring.
And confusing.
I know I should process what happened today.
I know I need to get it out of me.
I know I should, but I am exhausted.
I was sitting in therapy. Having a regular talk session. Not even. Just shooting the shit.
I was seeing my therapist at her office in the residential facility I had gone to. Outside of her office is a room that’s used for various things. A yoga nidra session was beginning, and a weird instrument that sounds like a church organ started playing.
This “organ” has always made me uncomfortable. I always skipped this group. I’d leave the area, and go where I couldn’t hear it. I didn’t know why it made me uncomfortable. I just know it did.
Today, I couldn’t leave. There was no way out of the office except to interrupt and go through the room the “organ” was playing in. I figured “oh well, this is a little annoying, but fine”.
And then it happened.
One second, I was feeling slightly uncomfortable, and the next I was in full panic attack.
“You’ve heard this before?” I heard my therapist ask.
I nodded, realizing I was starting to breathe heavier.
And then I couldn’t breathe.
At all.
I was trying to catch my breath, but I couldn’t.
I was in full blown panic.
I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t hear anything. I couldn’t stop hyperventilating.
I know my therapist was talking to me, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying.
At some point she asked if she could sit next to me, and I nodded.
At some point she got me to breathe with her and I calmed down some. I was shaking. She kept trying to get me to leave the room but I didn’t understand why. I told her I couldn’t move. I was frozen. I was too scared to go where the music was. She got him to stop playing. We walked through there and sat down outside. I was still shaking.
“Where are you right now?” She asked, knowing I was definitely not present.
“Church”
“Shit” I think I heard her say, but my mind is so foggy and I was so far away.
“Can you come back here?”
And I could. Which is progress.
#Therapy #Flashback #PanicAttack #MentalIllness #CPTSD #PTSD
Im not too sure how to put this out here but....Im in my 40's ,anxiety and depression for many years it been hard, I been having this flashback that shows me what happend many year ago when I was a teen but now that im older I can understand what really happened? Can just be my head making all this...im goin crazy here....should I go to a specialist? #lost #confused #sad #Anxiety #Depression #Unsure #help
Everything was going great. From all accounts we were about to wrap up the night. Last thing I remember is being ok. Next thing I remember is crying my eyes out to the point of actually throwing up.
We weren't planning to spend the night but did because it was nearly morning before I calmed down enough to accept that I was safe. Honestly I think I was just too exhausted to register fear. But the panic had finally stopped.
I woke up so embarrassed the next morning. My boyfriend assured me I was the only one who was. My friends acted like nothing off had happened. They insisted the whole incident was no biggie and just chilled till I was ready to start the day and talk about what happened.
Y'all I threw up on their porch. I kept everyone up hours past plans. I cried uncontrollably. I writhed in pain. I was disgustingly emotionally naked. I relived my worst traumas in their living room.
We talked over breakfast about what could have been the trigger. We tried to piece together the part my brain won't remember. And they listened again as I tried to figured out what warnings I must have missed. All in the hopes of me possibly recognizing early enough to try to stop it next time. It's not a guarantee. It's a baby step forward. It's trial and error.
And they want to know when the next double date night is.
This is why I call him my brother.
This is why I call her my sister.
This is why I call him my boyfriend.
They are part of my support group.
And they are more than I have ever dared wish for.
#PTSD #CPTSD #SupportGroups #CPTSDinrelationships #Flashbacks #Friendship #FriendsForSurvival #Hope #thankful #breakthestigma #PTSDSupportAndRecovery
Has anyone experienced becoming almost phobic about falling asleep because you know what is coming,the flashback nightmare is awful and usually it’s the same every time .I wake my kids with shouting and my daughter comes In and has to wake me or sometimes she’s held my hand which makes me feel so guilty she’s nearly 12 yrs old she shouldn’t be dealing with this.
My fear and reluctance to go to sleep have formed some unhealthy habits .I can fight the need for sleep rather well now and I find that after so long without sleep I’m so exhausted that I can get nearly a whole night with no flashbacks.
I take 45mg of mirtazapine occasionally zopiclone,which are really good but not allowed to take long term .
I drink herbal tea only ,I’ve tried guided meditations and sleep sounds ,audio stories, etc.
Just wondered if anyone had any coping strategies or tips at all? thanks
Xx
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