Hoarding Disorder

My mom suffers from schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety. She is a heavy cigarette smoker and alcoholic. When I was 13 my mom was sent to jail and then a mental institution after a traumatic event. My siblings and I was pretty much separated living with different family members. I received more abuse from family throughout my teenage years. Then got on my own at 18 and got married at 22. My mom was out the mental institute and needed a place to live. She stayed with me during the honeymoon phase of my marriage. I was still a bit resentful and I was a newlywed. In my mind, my start of happily ever after was being interrupted. So, I quickly found my mom her own place. Fast forward to two kids later and at the age of 25. I find that my mental health begin to decline. Living in a small town where I was molested, traumatized, and verbally abused, I felt suicidal. So, I moved to a different state with my kids and my husband. Fast forward to age 31 my mom's mental heath has been neglected due to the the fact that myself and all of my siblings has moved from the hometown to start new lives. (My mom still has her sisters, and cousins and such.) But, with the pandemic and the severity of loneliness at her elder age of 64 we noticed a change in her voice during our regular phone conversations. Three of my siblings traveled to check on my mom to find her living in hoarder like conditions. She had been mixing her alcohol with her meds and her walls were stained from cigarette smoke. My siblings suggested that she be moved into a assisted living. But, I was against the idea and opted that she moves with me. Since her moving in I managed to nurse her back to health getting her meds in order and taking her out to the park. She has been enjoying chatting on the phone and watching movies. But she has not really showed me any type of appreciation. She don't interact with my kids. She do not help out around the house. She don't even try and make her bed or take regular bathes. She even lied to family saying that she don't get to watch what she wants to watch on TV. She admitted to me that she don't like cleaning and would rather be left alone. Now, I am back to where I started when I had her move in with me when I was recently married. It is so unfair that after all the sacrifices I made she is so ungrateful. I give so much love just to receive hatefulness in return. #Schizophrenia #Trauma #Anxiety #HoardingDisorder

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Back in college I had an apartment, and in March one year I had an apartment fire. The fire totaled the place, and all my stuff causing $57k in damages. The loss of materials affected me greatly. So, since then I have suffered greatly from hoarding. Through weekly sessions through therapy and EMDR, I processed the fire and am slowly going through the mounds of stuff I have collected throughout these years. But still, it’s hard for me to sell items or donate things since I have such a personal history to it. Maybe its because I am an only child and I have more attachment to objects than an average person. Maybe I’m still not over the fire.... #MajorDepressiveDisorder #HoardingDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder