Scared for the future #Anxiety #AutonomicDysfunction #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #IdiopathicIntracranialHypertension #Depression
I’m scared of the future. I recently had bad palpitations that landed me in the ER. Everything came back normal except my EKG. They suspect POTS or SVT, but with having Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension POTS is a common diagnosis alongside it. Plus, it’s worse when my pressure is high.
I also meet the criteria for EDS hypermobile, which would explain the IIH and POTS.
This is good news and bad news. I struggle with health anxiety so much, especially since I went so long going to doctor and not being heard. I was told I’m making it up, and it’s just anxiety.
I feared for so long that something catastrophic would happen because doctors didn’t listen to me.
Now I have to wait till 12/6 to see my PCP and go over the POTS and EDS diagnosis. Then what next?
I’m bombarded with constant intrusive thoughts of fear of what’s next for me. Feeling like a failure because I can’t work, or cook or clean properly. Having such high hopes for my education and career. Now, I don’t know what my future looks like. That’s terrifying.
I just want to be okay. Not great and not bad. Not perfect but not suffering. Just okay.