learned

Waking up to another glimpse of #onalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression , squinting at the crack in the curtains, and seeing sunlight, my guilt is doubled.

I should go outside!

I cannot get out of bed. My dr says it’s learned behaviour and I must change it. But you see, dear Dr. It is these precise #learned behaviours that kept me safe and #alive in the #violent storm that shaped my #painful #Terrifying childhood.

It feels #Deathdefying to imagine losing my #Behaviours . After all they kept me alive! I owe them #Gratitude , and I’m not leaving them anytime soon. It’s feels akin to throwing half of myself away.

But, now I feel they’re #Killing me.

I just read the article on 19 scary thoughts of FM and recognise a lot of the issues people are dealing with.
I was #diagnosed 15 years ago and off work for four months during which I tried to #learn as much as possible about the condition and what my #triggers were for #FlareUps . I was single and had a #mortgage to pay off. There was a time I could hardly #move and get in or out of #bed . What really #helped was my personal #Acceptance of FM. In order to #pace myself I returned to work 4 days a week with the Wednesday as my day off. The other thing that really #worked was to keep #moving so I went for short #walks with my dog and #learned #Yoga and #Meditation . I didn’t #dwell on the things I #couldn ’t do but #focused on the things I #could or could do #different . I stayed away from #negative people and surrounded myself with those who had a #positive #outlook on life.
It did take quite a few #years to #learn to #live with FM but once #mastered I found that one still could have a #good life with FM. So the main #ingredients were #knowledge , #Acceptance , #Meditation , #Yoga , #pacing , a #can do #attitude , and #positive #outlook and #people in your life.