Sometimes I wonder #onalityDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ADHD #SocialAnxiety #Survivor
Ya know, this very moment; existing as a mother, having loved through the past, a past that I can truly account having a collective memory at an unconceivable early age. So many things it's like placing together the most enormous quilt.
As I reflect, what is now, a mother of two girls, one 11, one 13. Most times I sincerely want to yank every strand of my hair out, theoretically. Still, trying to relegate their adolescent emotions, and keep my sanity in check....
Did I have supportive parents, no! Those two souls were already broken by their own minds. Did I have support of external family, no. I was literally kidnapped by my biological parents, and brought to the state I still reside in.
No, as a kid, I challenged each therapist whose office was so filled to capacity of degrees and certs., as a child my mind knew then, they wouldn't get it...so I challenged them... I truly wish I could've respected those hearts more.
So, how should I go about this, today? Should I sit, overwhelmed, should I stuff until my emotion spills out with rage?
Raising children these days, theirs such a great account; my mistakes affect their futures!
Ya know what, I think I should sit, my thoughts are even too radical, and they just begin to overlap, the more I entertain this idle mind.... Nope...
I think I'm gonna appreciate this opportunity ahead of me .. thinking about how far I've come; I know there's a purpose💜