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My Story

This is my story 📖📰
Thinking about my journey as I celebrate 7 years of blogging and my memoirs being released in my first book next month.

Chronic Illness is a part of our life not all of our lives. We can still find purpose and meaning in our lives.

So grateful to The Mighty for their support publishing 70 articles and promoting my online support forum and blog over the past 7 years.

It's because of this support I felt encouraged to write my first book.

Below is the link to my first ever blog post in 2015, which has been updated over the years. It's a short summary of my story.

Thanks to all The Mighty author's for sharing your stories too. They inspire and encourage every time xx

My Story
#Writing #TheMighty #mystory #Lifestory #RareDisease #bonedisease #Blogging #Musing

My Story

In 2010 I was in my mid 40’s, at the height of my career as an Executive Manager in a major bank. In April of 2010, I was getting ready to take 6 weeks long service leave to spend some quality time…
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Ashamed

I was just browsing on LinkedIn since I am still theoretically job searching (even youh I haven't applied to a job in 6 months). A few connections were suggested to me and I realized that my reason for not connecting with them on the app is because I am ashamed of where I'm at in life.

I was a top student in high school and my undergraduate studies. I did struggle with depression, but poured myself into my studies and really enjoyed learning and research. It became clear within a few years that the profession I had a degree for wasn't the best fit for me, but my skills were transferrable and I found other (less stable or well-paying) jobs. After a few years, I did a one-year graduate diploma (essentially half a master's degree), and despite recent onset ptsd from a relationship with a narcissist I still managed to excel.

Following that, I worked and volunteered in Asia for a few years before starting a master's degree as an international student in Europe. I had always loved studying and this is what I'd been working toward for a few years. However, everything quickly unraveled to leave me where I'm at today.

I'm working part time in a job that doesn't even require a degree. I have not been able to complete my master's degree. I am isolating from loved ones and from the possibility of building any new relationships. I'm living in a region I don't like (partly because of connection to my trauma), but feel stuck here. I don't have either insurance or enough income to afford consistent therapy.

And then I see my past colleagues on LinkedIn. I read about their job and education updates and it makes me want to run and hide. How can I have gone from being so successful to where I am now? Or was I never successful at all and it was just an illusion? What can the future hold for me?

I recently posted about a possible promotion at work and I think it actually increases these feelings of shame since this was never a job I even wanted in the first place and it just reminds me every day of how far I have fallen. Taking the promotion feels like accepting that this shame is here to stay - it doesn't matter if I'm successful in the position or not because just the position itself makes me feel ashamed (it's a perfectly good job, but this is just my personal internal struggle).

#ashamed #Shame #Work #Education #Lifestory #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #MentalHealth #Relationships

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