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I want to run away #Overwhemed #Lifesucks

I’m overwhelmed by responsibility and I want to run away to Nineveh like the biblical jona


Hurt and down

I'm so fucking tired of the roller coaster. Stop the world I want to get off!

I'm missing my FP something terrible. It's killing me that she kicked me to the curb. Told me, "I don't have space for you in my life." She doesn't know I have BPD since I've only recently been diagnosed.

I don't know if I should send her information on this fucked up disease or let it slide a little longer. The shitty part is ... it's my daughter.

I was doing fine with her decision after I was crushed with sadness and overwhelming pain when she left me. It's been two months since we have spoken.

The crushing feelings came rushing back in after my granddaughter spent the night over the weekend. I miss her so so very much. I want to try and mend things, but hurtful words were spoken by me. She's not sure she can forgive me.

I have a lot of therapy to do before I can try to heal us. I'm not sure she'll ever forgive me. It goes back to over a year ago.

The only time she'd try to talk to me about it was when she was drunk. I'd hang up on her. You can't reason with a drunk. We just talked in circles so nothing ever got accomplished. Of course that was my fault too. (She said)

It'll never be the same between us and that's the part that hurts the most. I trigger her. It kills me knowing I trigger my daughter. She has to be drunk or high to just be around/talk to me.

It's really fucking hard right now.

#Depression #MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #TheMighty #Lifesucks #ihurt #sad

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My thought doesn't have a title.

I'm so fucking depressed right now I can't even think. I'm just numb.

I had an appointment with my doctor today. I got to find out I have heart failure. Let's just pile on more shit that's wrong with me. I feel like I can't win at anything. The heart failure isn't "bad" yet, but it's headed there. It's just a matter of time because there is no fixing it.

I'm waving the white flag. I surrender.

#Depression #CardiovascularDisease #Lifesucks #

4 reactions

A sucky Saturday | TW some caps #venting

I just want to get the flu shot and get it over with already.

Last weekend, the bus took too long (more than 50 minutes) to come so we had to reschedule to today. However, when we got there (took almost an hour to get there btw), they said that no flu shots weren’t in stock (how???) EVEN THOUGH they said NOTHING about it on their website 😒

We almost tried Walgreens, which I had massive anxiety because of past experiences, CONSTANTLY being misgendered because they didn’t want to change my freaking information in their system at first.. but they required appointments (of course).

I just want to take it already to get it over with and to not worry about possibly being misgendered when it comes, but it can’t be next weekend because of personal reasons. I honestly want to cry. So in conclusion, life sucks.

#Lifesucks #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Stress


One of those days #sameish

I woke up heavy from the night before. I often wonder if depression gets tired of existing. Like don’t you get tired of affecting people….as if it were a person! SMH! I hate looking in the mirror, I hate existing, I hate being alive!
I decided either I die or I disappear and don’t tell anyone where I’m going! Either way I gotta go!
#im done # everythingistrash #Lifesucks

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Life sucks #Lifesucks #Borderline #BPD #ChronicDepression

Concentrating is hard today, I didn’t sleep well and my depression kicks in. Unfortunately I have to work.
Life sucks, like all the time



Life Sucks with mental anguish and mental illness I hate my brain 🧠 don’t know how much longer I can manage without quitting


Why do I bother? #Depression

#Lifesucks #Disapointment Just another gut punch. Outlets not working. Another vacuum died. #Migraines I am a man of faith but sometimes I wonder why I bother praying.

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Has anyone experienced it yet?

I’m having a very anxiety filled day. My mind is racing and I’m struggling (once again) with wanting to stay. Stay in my job, in my relationships, in my life.
One thing my therapist had talked about when it comes to the trauma I’ve experienced and what the therapy and sessions will bring is this moment where there’s a switch- where I will go from having this burden of trauma to it no longer being such. It won’t be gone, but I won’t be tied down anymore.
It won’t be the thing that influences every thought and action I have, even subconsciously.
And… my question is has anyone ever had that “switch” moment? And if they would be willing to share something about it. #Anxiety #Lifesucks #Therapy #Early Childhood Trauma

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What’s in my cup changed my life. #Fibromyalgia #CeliacDisease #BipolarDisorder #Jesus

I know the #struggles you’re all going through. I’ve actually printed out a letter explaining the “spoon theory” and sent it to my family and gave one to my husband.
It resonated with some, however, most still didn’t understand.
I almost gave up on life in January of 2019.
And had I not changed some things in my life in February 2019, I would’ve done it for real in 2020 when all the #pandemic started.
It’s an everyday activity to stay positive.
I have several batteries around my home.
There’s a positive and a negative on the battery. When I feel negative I grab the battery and hold it to my head and try to find the positive thoughts to the negative one.
I know it sounds weird, but it’s working for me. Example: Negative thoughts...
#Lifesucks I can’t travel,
I can’t see my friends,
I can’t visit my family,
I can’t go to the pool,
or I can’t deal with....
#positivethoughts ....
Life isn’t as bad as I believe it is,
I’ll be able to travel again soon,
I can FaceTime with my family and friends,
I can blow up my pool and sit in it in my back yard and
I can do all things with Jesus.
Yes, I have a personal release with my Savior.
He has helped me get through this life of having a #ChronicIllness
He loves me unconditionally.
He gives me strength when I feel weak.
I make Him first in my life and let Him fill me up and I give from the overflowing love He’s given me.
I also have been taking functional happy products for 2 years.
Now I can power walk for 1 hour 6x a day.
I’m happier 30 minutes after my last sip.
I’m finally on the way to my best life before fibromyalgia took me down.
Love from Wenrella