Longtermillness

Join the Conversation on
86 people
0 stories
4 posts
  • Explore Our Newsletters
  • What's New in
    All
    Stories
    Posts
    Videos
    Latest
    Trending
    Post

    Why Do Our Friends Leave Us?

    I'm sharing a previously posted story written on here from 4 years ago.

    My very last 'surviving' friendship is now also drifting away out of my reach 😔. I hate the loneliness it brings.

    Having one friend made everyone else disappearing more bearable. But how am I to feel now I am alone? no more bestie or 'solid' friendship.

    Was it me? Am I too oppressive? Could I have done more?! - I'll never know.

    To clarify, we had a 10 year friendship and we were each others 'best friend' she is my sons godmother. We were literally thick as thieves - could finish each others sentences, say the same things at the same time. She, my husband and I were the '3 amigos'

    So our situation now is that she, and her new husband have moved to another town nearby. She's made new dear friends there,and has slowly weaned off me.

    The last time she saw me it was for my birthday 2 weeks after it 😓 it felt like she was feeling awkward after a while. After she left, I never received the 'I really enjoyed seeing you 🥰' etc text message we would normally exchange - even though I sent one myself

    What finally made me see it for what it is, is that I was meant to see her tomorrow. We planned this ages ago. But was told yesterday she cannot do the afternoon. Morning only. Then today got a message cancelling entirely

    Once before I got sick there was a time where I was all she had, even when everybody left her due to a trauma she experienced, I supported her through.

    I really thought after years of bullying and never fitting in due to Autism, I had found my 'forever friend' ❤️ for years and years our social media pages were constantly full of pictures of our 'adventures' and tagging each others names on posts. Almost announcing to the world what a close unbreakable friendship we had. It made me feel lucky and special🤦‍♀️ somebody liked me for me! I had never had a friendship this genuine before (i thought) I feel embarrassed to have felt this way now.

    I know people who don't stick around due to illness aren't worth my time. Equally I know people can change and drift apart too, but I thought we were stronger than that?

    But it doesn't change the hurt. Especially as this gradually happened over two years, feeling it slip away. Questioning if it was really happening? Surely not?! Then realising the truth, and the painful feelings of being alone, betrayal, of feeling replaced - as if I were a broken toy.

    I feel very sad really. Especially as I am housebound, and cannot make friends offline.

    Has anybody else been left totally alone other than their spouse/partner?
    (im lucky mine is incredible)

    This epitomises how I feel

    themighty.com/2018/03/friends-leaving-sick

    #friendships  #ChronicIllness  #Loneliness  #Depression  #UCTD #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Autism #ADHD #ASD #AutoimmuneDisease #alone #CheckInWithMe #Sadness #housebound #Longtermillness #hi #Lupus #MixedConnectiveTissueDisease #Fatigue
    #ChronicFatigue #ME

    2 reactions 23 comments
    Post
    See full photo

    Tethered to my meds

    Even though I'm grateful for finding meds that work for me it doesn't mean I like having to be constantly aware of a timed schedule

    Read me on Medium here laura-resurreccion.medium.com/a-different-kind-of-right-or-w...

    #MentalHealth #meds #Depression #Anxiety #Hypothyroidism #Asthma #Arthritis #Longtermillness #ChronicIllness #chronicallyill #Support

    Post
    See full photo

    #Depression and/or #Anxiety during the festive period. #Autism #ADHD #Meltdowns #Pressure #Loneliness #Relationships

    Does anyone else find this time of year brings a significant increase in upsetting symptoms of #Anxiety and #Depression .

    I am autistic and only in the past 4 years I have found it an increasingly stressful time of year.

    I'm more prone to meltdown, feeling apathy and low mood and definitely lost all "Christmas Spirit"

    I go along with it all for the benefit of my children, we make things and decorate the house, but I no longer feel excitement or joy. My husband is very supportive.

    This year is especially tough as I had #COVID19 in March, and ever since I've been a #longcovid / #longhauler still suffering with residual illness, which induced a long #Depression episode during the summer, I'm only just coming through but I'm no where near better yet.

    I feel #Christmas and the pressure to be 'happy joyful skipping around singing carols' whilst having a bustling social life is really oppressive ( especially when you feel so bad you cant even use WhatsApp or leave the house) its a massive negative influence on my mood. It's sad but I wish it was all over by now

    I'm so apathetic this weekend we just received our new car we had worked so hard to save for and I couldn't care less. I feel so ungrateful. This isnt like me at all. I love cars!

    I dont have good #Relationships at the moment either (I'm sure many of you with #Longtermillness can relate) my 'friends' all disappeared when I didnt get better immediately. I fell out with my sisters too as they planned a whole family vacation without my family. (And kept it a secret) bearing in mind it is for next year I'd hopefully of been well to go.

    So it's very upsetting seeing all the lovely (but fake) advets of families and friends having the time of their lives on tv social media etc.

    Does anybody else feel this way each year? The pressure to be happy and have these unrealistic amazing experiences at #Christmas and feeling bad and anxious in the lead up to it?

    I used to relish and look forward to it. (I'm only 33 and only been feeling this way about 4 years now)

    Sorry for the rant I feel so guilty to not be feeling like mrs Christmas

    Xxx

    20 comments
    Post

    Long #Longtermillness

    Hi, I am new here and am getting the impression that other group members are all under 50 and/or haven’t been sick for a long time (say, more than 20 years), unless they have been sick since childhood.
    Anyone else on here who is north of 50 and who is a “old timer”?
    I have moderate to severe ME/CFS, moderate interstitial cystitis and mild fibromyalgia and in my past life I was a psychotherapist.

    30 comments