Neurocardiogenic syncope

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Symptoms worse, Thanks Snow Storm

Well I think I found a trigger for some of my neurocardiogenic syncope, big weather change. We have this lovely snow storm going on anddd I woke up with the most excruciating headache but said to myself “meditation will help you”. Short story short, I had to hop off of my meditation class because my heart rate tanked and I tried fighting it but I got realll close to passing out. Now it’s been 20 minutes and I still can’t stand up without starting the neurocardiogenic syncope symptoms.

The Rose: I’m glad I found a second possible trigger. My first is sudden changes in temperature.

The Thorn: I’m in a snow storm and I live alone. Today is one of those days I wish I had a partner. I feel very alone.

#NeurocardiogenicSyncope #Anxiety

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Surrender 💛

I’m in my second week of attending daily 30-minute meditation classes, and I already feel like I’ve learned so much. One major theme my class has been focusing on is “surrender.” To surrender is to let go of the ego and allow yourself to be fully present with the moment as it is.

I keep returning to the question: What does it mean for me to surrender?

When I experience a neurocardiogenic syncope episode, surrendering means accepting and acknowledging what’s happening, without letting it define me.

When I go to a routine eye appointment for pressure checks, surrendering means trusting that I’m doing my part: taking my medication, using my eye drops, and allowing my medical providers to make the best decisions for my care.
I could go on and on.

Surrendering is hard. Our ego loves to get in the way. But for the first time, I truly feel like I’m re-wiring my brain.
#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Glaucoma #Uveitis #Blindness #NeurocardiogenicSyncope #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease

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New Diagnosis: Vasolvagal Syncope

I’m overwhelmed with thoughts, emotionally exhausted, and tired. I spent 1 hour of my 2.5 hour appointment going over only part of my medical history.

During my appointment I was asked if the symptoms I discussed lower my quality of life or inhibit my life. My answer was “Yes, when symptoms are present my quality of life is lowered and inhibits me from doing things that I want to get done during my day”. On top of that I was asked if I have any stress in my life (HAHAHA). I’ve been stressed my whole life, I’ve been chronically ill dealing with eye surgeries, a suppressed immune system, etc for the past 17 years. Oh and on top of that my mom is newly diagnosed with Parkinson’s and vents to me about her health. Oh and my job has a lot of stress lately, we formed a union, difficulties with supervisor, etc. I do my best to limit stress by working out and meditating but that doesn’t seem to be enough.

You know what the doctor said? “Well seems like it’s vasolvagal syncope/neurocardiogenic syncope and you’re already doing everything we’d recommend. You’ll get over this and out grow it. But for some reason if you don’t, you can make another appointment”.

Yes I’m happy my heart is healthy. Yes I’m happy I’m resourceful and know how to listen to my body. But I wish there was something more I could be doing to limit these episodes. I live in fear and anxiety for weeks after an episode wondering why it happened, what could I have done differently so it didn’t happen, and when is it going to happen again? I think any chronically ill person can relate - I just want 365 days of stability, “remission”, and no new medical conditions.

Thanks for letting me rant, I’m going to go take a bath and do my nails to distract me the rest of the day.
#NeurocardiogenicSyncope #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #MentalHealth #Anxiety #MedicalStress #newdiagnosis

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Hair damage & loss

Today I want to share my story on why I cut my hair.
I used to have long curly hair. In May, I cut my hair completely, so I wouldn’t have a single curl. That’s where the damage stopped.
I was cutting my hair, shorter and shorter, noticing the damage was more than I thought…. Until there were no curls left.

I was on the wrong medication, propranolol, that was lowering my heart rate.
My expsychiatrist had prescribed 9 a day.. at the time we didn’t know I had a heart condition called neurocardiogenic syncope. (Not to mention all my other health diagnoses)

I had never agreed to be on such medications before, however, my mental health was on the fritz. Unknowingly prescribing propranolol for mold poisoning. My husband and I were living in a home full of mold for 8 months.
Living in a moldy house really had a dramatic effect on us.
I wish we would have never moved into that house, so many awful things could’ve been avoided, so much additional suffering. It makes me wonder… Why? Why must these lessons be so hard?

You may know exactly what I’m talking about. …..
Why did my soul take a detour down a destructive route? I swear I had the best intentions……
It hurts terribly when we “trust the process”, and STILL end up in shit creek.
Yet, I believe everything has a purpose, I don’t believe in coincidences….
it’s hard to see what you’ve learned, when there’s so much heartache

Thankfully, my hair has no more split ends, split middles, thin patches..
I miss my curls, I am eager for the next growth phase.
And as for anxiety “treatments”, I am focusing on feeling my emotions with mindfulness, love and compassion.. books, books and more books

-bless
Thanks for reading
-Alexandra

#HairLoss #NeurocardiogenicSyncope #Anxiety #MentalHealth

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My 2025 in review: Health Edition

General health appointments: 5

Specialist appointments: 12 (rhuemotology, ophthalmology, podiatry, endocrinology)

Allergy: 20 appointments, 76 allergy shots

Infusion: 13 appointments, 32.5 hours sitting in the infusion center

Imaging/testing (not labs): 2 MRIs, 2 1-week long heart monitors, 1 stress test, 1 tilt table test, 1 heart ultrasound

Mobility aids: 2 mobility aids added to my daily routine

- - - - -

Pre syncope episodes: 3

Vertigo episodes: 5

Anxiety Attacks: 2

I’m proud of myself for speaking up to my doctors about a symptom I’ve experienced my whole life but no one has ever looked into. I’m proud of all the ground techniques I’ve learned this year. I’m happy I found 2 apps that help me with mental health and health record keeping. I’m also very proud of my mom who started her chronic health journey with Parkinson’s this year. She is going to speech classes and sharing information with us (family). Her new diagnosis is frustrating and exhausting but she’s learning and still doing things she loves. 2026, please be gentle to us.

#Uveitis #Glaucoma #ParkinsonsDisease #MentalHealth #Anxiety #ChronicPain #Presyncope #NeurocardiogenicSyncope #AutoimmuneDiseases

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Do you ever just want to scream?

Sooo I went back to the hair salon that I recently had a presyncope episode at. But this time I had an anxiety attack. I freaking threw up in the middle of the salon, I sweat through my clothes, and didn’t get my hair done again.

Can I get a break?
#Presyncope #ChronicIllness #NeurocardiogenicSyncope #Anxiety #tired

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My biggest trust issue? My body.

I was so excited for today and have been looking forward to it this whole week. I had a hair appointment and I haven’t had my hair done in 3 years.

I’m sitting in the chair with bleach in my half my hair and I can tell I’m going to have a pre syncope episode. I started sweating like crazy, my face had no color, I was shaking, and my vision kept going away and coming back. I tried my routine breathing and talking to myself but it did not work.

Soooo I had to end my appointment. Called grandma to pick me up. Luckily my hair stylist is the greatest human on the earth - using the cold setting on the blow dryer to cool me off, washed and styled my hair while I was awardly leaning backwards.

Anywaysss later I looked at my health data - my heart rate went from 78 resting to 50 resting and struggled to raise my heart rate for the next 10 minutes.

I did try to have extra electrolytes before my appointment. I did have 3 glasses of water this morning. I did eat a meal before I left. I swear, the biggest trust issue I have is with my own body. I’m frustrated with my body, I’m embarrassed of my body, I want to forget today happened but half my head is bleached for a continuous reminder. And what? I’ll make my appointment to get it finished and be anxious about possibly passing out again and won’t be relaxed like I should be when you get your hair done.

Let me sulk today, I’ll get back on the positivity bus tomorrow. But huge shout out to my hair stylist for making me feel safe and seen - I wish more people could do that. Also I love a good salon dog, thank you for resting your head in my lap when I arrived, you are the sweetest.
#bradycardia #NeurocardiogenicSyncope

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A little about me… Where to start? Perhaps with the diagnoses

Firstly, I must make it clear, I was gaslighted on my pain, my entire childhood and my adulthood. The people who raised me, absolutely refused to believe that I was suffering in any sort of way. mimicking and mocking my pain.
It’s been a long journey.
it does feel like coming out of the closet, allowing myself to be exposed to the truth of my suffering.

My earliest core memories, involved, nerve pain. I have suffered with nerve full body pain my entire life, it’s been a Constant battle since the age of 14.
I’m 30 years young. I can’t remember what it feels like to be pain-free, that’s how long it’s been for me.

life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get

I’m waiting for medical research from Ucsf, I was diagnosed with superior canal. However, because my surgeon is so wonderful at what he does, he was able to prove that I have very healthy ears.
The question: why is it that I can hear through bone conduction extremely loud? Why can I hear through my feet? perhaps in this lifetime, I will be able to participate in the medical research, once it’s granted.

Recently, I was diagnosed with a heart condition called Neurocardiogenic syncope. this is relationship my brain has with my heart.

and of course, we can’t leave out depression, anxiety, and complex PTSD. For those who have nerve pain, they often experience complex PTSD.
for those of you who suffer with illness, it’s very common to feel anxious and depressed.

on the sunny of our side of things, I love art.
Lady Alexandra Rose is my art name. Collage art is my passion. you can find my art on Instagram @ladyalexandrarose

for the last 8 years of my life, I have either been gardening or caregiving to support myself.
I often find with my clients, they have helped save me. Helping me create a scared space for them, inturn creating scared space for myself.

I have walked people to their deaths. I have given people an immense amount of support through my words and my actions. I have worked with developmentally disabled adults, some of the kindest teachers, I believe.

life is a garden, what will you grow? Lovely lavender, rosemary and thyme?
will you tend to your garden and pull out the weeds that suffocate your beautiful flowers?
will you go forth, and bless each bee that brings your garden life?
I think yes

cheers to life!
#MentalHealth #ChronicPain #HeartCondition #Life #rarediagnoses #Caregiver

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A Year In…

As a recently diagnosed person with Sjögren’s Syndrome, Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disorder, Hydradenitis Suppurativa, POTS, and Ehlers Danlos syndrome, I am coping and learning.

My journey started in May of 2022, when I complained to my PCP that my dermatologist kept telling me that my hives were a problem for my allergist, but my allergist kept claiming they didn’t do anything with those, to talk to dermatology.
She asked about any other symptoms, knowing I already had a history of ADHD, anxiety, PCOS, uterine fibroids, endometriosis and GERD. She asked about pain and I told her I always have some pain, but it’s never anything major and never consistently placed in my body. She asked about headaches and migraines, energy levels, dizziness, fatigue, about stomach issues and my bowel and bladder frequencies. She asked about my family history. She decided to run a multitude of labs including a THS, CBC, CMP, and ANA. When the ANA came back positive, she said we’d found an answer. Well, not the final answer, but we’d found a direction. So off to the rheumatologist I went.
After one very dismissive rheumatologist 3 months later, I found another rheumatologist 2 hours away that was recommended by a friend. This doctor accepted the tests that were previously ran by my PCP, added more tests to my list including another ANA and AVISE testing. This was how we determined what I had.
Originally thought to be lupus, (It’s never lupus!- House) they found Sjögren’s Syndrome primary, with UCTD in there as well. The UCTD could eventually become LUPUS, but I didn’t meet the full markers for a lupus diagnosis. With this diagnosis, I did the base line eye exams and began taking Plaquenil. While taking this, I still experienced pain, motility issues, and other things but after 6 months, I could definitely feel a significant reduction in my pain, fatigue, and brain fog. This alleviated a significant portion of my pain, which in turn reduced my anxiety and depression. On top of this, I also read about joint health and increased my Vitamin D intake (which had always been low without a supplement) and added Glucosamine, Turmeric, Ginger and Black Pepper supplements to help with any nutritional deficiencies. Since I have continued to decline every time my body encounters a virus, I have increased my water intake, reduced my caffeine and sugar intake, and made some major lifestyle changes.
Among my lifestyle changes, I have been advised by my rheumatologist to avoid the Sun. I’m naturally fair skinned so I already wore sunscreen but he told me that this goes beyond that. To cover my skin, wear a hat, sunglasses, and try to avoid being out in direct sunlight as much as possible. I have also learned that my excessive sweating is not just me being out of shape, but that my body fails to properly regulate my body temperature. It is a part of my disautonomia. Getting that diagnosis led to a cardiology work up, which indicates my life long fainting issues are POTS and nuerocardiogenic syncope, not “low blood sugar” as I’d always been told. I am currently awaiting an echo stress test to determine the cause of my exercise intolerance which has kept me out of the gym for 2 years. Basically, when my heart rate gets above 100 I start to sweat profusely. At 130, I get dizzy and lightheaded. At 140-150, I begin to see spots and my vision blurs and I have to sit down before I faint. I used to go to the gym and do the BodyPump, Zumba and cardio kickboxing classes 3-4 times a week, but I haven’t been able to make it through a whole class in 2 years. (Thanks COVID!)
I’m March of 2023, I finally decided to go back to the dermatologist (albeit a different company than before) to have them help me with my skin issues like cystic acne and spots that just wouldn’t heal under my arms and around my breasts. After doing more research and talking with an RN whose sister has HS, the dermatologist and I agreed that I do in fact have HS, not just cystic acne. We treated with a round of antibiotics and steroids, which made a difference temporarily. The other option she recommended is for Humira, but that is a much stronger treatment option. We decided to go the easy route currently, since Humira is not covered by my insurance.
Upon getting yet another virus in July, I became even more pained, resulting in my near trip to the emergency room due to 8 out 10 pain that I could not pinpoint in my body. My PCP thankfully worked me in, and gave me a steroid and antibiotic shot in office, plus sent me in a medrol pack and augmentin to help. She said if my pain didn’t reduce by the next day, to go to the emergency room. She ran more labs, which showed my calcium was high, so she sent me in for a thyroid echocardiogram which should no abnormalities. My doctors have all suspected thyroid issues for years, but I’m always within normal range, but on the low end.
We managed to get my pain under control, but I still have wounds that won’t heal, pain I can’t explain and more fatigue. I’m currently going to physical therapy because at that July appointment, she diagnosed me with EDS. Physical therapy helped me get my pain under control and I no longer wake up in pain. I’ve learned a lot of new exercises that do not stress my heart but strengthen my core, and loosen my muscles without stretching my joints. I’ve learned how to adjust my posture and added a seat cushion to my car, since that is where I am most of the day. I’ve learned why I just want to lay down when I’m hurting or feeling exhausted. My blood pressure is struggling to regulate itself, and I feel faint and lightheaded upon standing or while standing for too long.
I’ve also learned why my depression gets so bad. Who knew inflammation can cause severe, mind altering depression? I’ve struggled for years with intrusive thoughts but I knew I wasn’t typically depressed because I never considered suicide. I simply could tell my brain wasn’t working right, but I had no clue why.
Ugh, this has been a rambling mess, but it’s the simplest way to explain everything that has changed about me this year. And it’s a lot. I know I’m nowhere near through learning, but I hope to find the right answers. I’m reading about diet and looking for a job that still pays well but allows me to avoid the Sun, so maybe something WFH? Who knows what I’ll look like or life will be like next year, but I’m thankful for the answers I have and the answers to come. If you relate to any of these, please feel free to comment. It’s nice to know you’re not alone in all this.
#EhlersDanlosSyndrome #SjogrensSyndrome #UndifferentiatedConnectiveTissueDisease #HidradenitisSuppurativa #POTS #Dysautonomia #NeurocardiogenicSyncope

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