Hi everyone,
I just joined yesterday and I am really hoping to find a feeling of connection on here. But I have to admit, the thought scares me, too.
I have been struggling with mental health breakdowns for a long time, almost 20 years. The past 8 years have been a constant up and down with a big focus on the down. For the past 4 years I've been chronically ill, at home, unable to work and really unable to stay in touch with friends and family. To speak in diagnoses: cPTSD, ADHD, autism, some depression sprinkled in as well. The big trauma and neurodivergence thing I only found out about within the past few years.
I feel so isolated in the world of my brain, thoughts and feeling, it feels like no one will ever really get it. I get angry, annoyed, exhausted, when I am staying in touch with friends, but I also really crave connection. Do you get it?
I know I am mighty powerful and resilient. I keep pushing forward and standing up. I can take a lot. But I also just wish I wouldn't have to do it all on my own. Well, not entirely alone. I have a wonderful partner. But he is healthy (thankfully!), and therefore his brain operates a different way. And I? I don't want to talk to people. I don't want to open up. I don't want to commit. I don't want to promise friendship. I don't want to give. But, I also crave finding my tribe. I have to find my tribe. I want to find my tribe. So I can be understood and not have to explain anymore.
Will you have me?
#Trauma #attachmenttrauma #EmotionalNeglect #CPTSD #PTSD #Autism #ADHD #Neurodiversity
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