RadicalAcceptance

Woke up in a "Why me?" state of mind today. Or, rather, a "Why us?" state of mind. My ex, my kid, and myself are, I think, pretty decent humans. We're flawed, like anyone else, but always tried to be good, according to our own compasses. We tried to never be hurtful, to support the people we cared about, and to leave the world a better place than we found it every day. For about 25 years, we were pretty good at it, I think.

And then, through circumstances we just couldn't control it fell apart. I never intended to become the monster I became, anymore than any of us intended for our lives to be upended during the COVID lockdown. We all thought we were doing the right, the appropriate, things to navigate increasingly difficult social and psychological circumstances. And everything still fell apart.

DBT teaches Radical Acceptance. The thing happened. Period. We don't have to like it, we don't have to make peace with it, but we have to accept that it happened. But some days, I wake up wondering "Why us?" We were lovely and happy and now we're broken, and will always be just a little bit sad. And we couldn't have done anything other than what we did.

Why us? Why couldn't we have just been a family and been happy? It's too late now. We'll never be that again. I will miss them for the rest of my life and I'll never have an answer to the question. And some days, it's really fucking hard to just have to accept that.

#Divorce #RadicalAcceptance #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Sometimes there will be a theme that comes up for me throughout a period of time. Today's recurring theme has been Truth.

The day began with providing my partner with some peer support. They needed reminding of the Truth of how things are, and to be reminded of the Truth of who they are. We discussed radical acceptance and living authentically.

After lunch, I had a workshop on the Seven Sacred Teachings offered to us by indigenous peoples across the continent. Today's teaching was honesty, to others, to ourselves, in relation to reality, and in relation to our spiritual path and guides. Speaking and living and acting in Truth.

Before dinner, I chose to watch a nostalgic kid's movie about an important car race. One of the characters meditates on desert hill between races, seeking guidance from his ancestors. He receives a vision, an elder who speaks to him and warns him of a danger in his path. The man believes this danger to be a physical threat and continues with caution. After the next race, he goes to meditate and the elder comes to him again. When he asks the elder what the danger was, the elder replied, "The greatest danger of all is to see only what you want to see, and not what is true."

Does this theme of honesty and truth resonate for anyone else today?

And does this ever happen to you? Do you recieve thematic lessons from the universe, etc?

#MentalHealth #Spirituality #Truth #honesty #RadicalAcceptance #authenticity

For the past 5 months I've been on short-term disability from work for the most intense depressive episode I've ever experienced. When I first started my leave, all I wanted was to get better, to get back to "being normal," which I haven't felt in about a decade. I know now that back then I was using negative coping methods and sheer force of will to act like nothing was wrong. But I still held out hope that I could be "like everyone else."

Over the course of my leave and intensive therapy sessions, I started (very bitterly) thinking that maybe I was just too screwed up, that I would never be that person I wanted to be. Those thoughts made me incredibly angry and sad and disillusioned with life. But the more they stuck in my head, the more I got used to them and started thinking about them differently.

Now I've given up on ever being "normal," whatever that looks like. And there's a certain relief that came with that. I don't have to expect myself to be perfect or even normal. Of course I try to do things that will help my mental health, like exercising, walking my dog, being creative, eating healthy foods, etc. But if I fall short of that, it's okay. This acceptance gives me permission to have bad mental health days without as much guilt or internal struggle.

I know that my depression and anxiety will flare up and if it ever gets as bad as it was in the spring I'll go straight back to my psychiatrist to adjust my meds (feeling that bad is not okay). But in the meantime I can give up on trying to be something I'm not and then feeling guilty when I can't be that person. It's really hard and also freeing to accept that I'm someone with mental health diseases.
#Depression #PTSD #Anxiety #Selfacceptance #RadicalAcceptance

Hi everyone,

I am reflecting today about my 20 year journey with Fibromyalgia. It started when I was around 20 and I am in my 40’s now.

I had so much to accomplish, a career, raising a child, being in a marriage but each step was made extremely difficult due to all the symptoms of Fibro, including pain and exhaustion.

I pushed through it all, despite my bodies constant request for rest. I did my best to honour my body but responsibilitie are responsibilities I thought and I did not habe a support system because no one understood or validated my challenges.

Dr’s diagnosed me in my early 20’s, I know a family history of Fibro helped but they also diagnosed me with many other conditions and for each came meds.

Over the years, I gained weight, I lost weight, I had ups and downs, meds helped me push through but didn’t ever mske me fe comfortable or fully functioning and I know I am not alone.

A couple of years ago I connected with my long lost cousin who also has the symptims of fibro but she chose no meds, and used more pacing strategies.

So this leads me to my reflection. Are meds helping or hurting? One year I balooned up 70 lbs, while eating dietician approved meals, then thyroid, pcos, hernia, ect. Did meds cause? Are meds better or worse? Would my body have learn to adapt if I accepted my limitations, stopped and listen to my body? Did I have a choice financially/support wise? Anyone relate? #Fibromyalgia #chronic illness #RadicalAcceptance #Medication

This has helped me, so I’m sharing in the hope it may help someone else...

I’ve been watching YouTube videos by Marsha Linehan who developed DBT. The way she talks about BPD makes me feel understood and hopeful for the future.

There is a YouTube channel called BorderlineNotes, and they have a playlist of 27 short videos which I recommend.

A quote of hers from another video on the Family Action Network channel that opened my mind was “if you mix black and white what happens? Almost everyone will tell you you get grey... but in DBT you get plaid (tartan)” this made me see that my black and white thinking needs to bring together, integrate and accept both sides of the equation rather than suppress or compromise.

I’m going to talk to my therapist about the DBT skills Marsha talks about and how I can learn them. I hope this helps even one person out there, we all need hope ❤️

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BlackandwhiteThinking #DBT #Hope #RadicalAcceptance #DistressTolerance

Radical Acceptance is a skill taught in DBT that allows people to move

on and fosters growth in place of stagnation and past ruminations. Hit on the link to know more-

https://www.swasth.co/blog/radical-acceptance-in-dbt/#RadicalAcceptance #Acceptance #DBT

I just walked 2200 steps in my house because I can’t go outside due to the fires in CA right now. I am really proud of myself for taking 2200 intentional steps! 😁 #Fibromyaliga #Depression #grounding #RadicalAcceptance