Roughweek

Despite the title its not what you think, it's quite the opposite. I'm my fiancees super woman on the days that I can't get out of bed because of the pain, on the days when I barley get a shower and then slum around on the couch, on the days I manage to go work my shift but nothing else. To my fiancee I am always his super woman. Which is great but I surly don't always feel like it. This week, especially the last few days have been a real struggle for me. I have felt like a disappointment a failure and today culminated in a massive migraine which lead me to call off tomorrow which only makes me feel worse. I'll push myself until my body says no. I know not healthy it's one of my very poor habits but it stems a lot from my lack of self worth, and lack of self value but I don't care for myself the way I should until my body forces me too. I'm struggling, I'm trying to stay above water but it's difficult I can't poor from an empty cup by I'm struggling to take the time to refill it. Thanks for being the safe void I can vent too. #quarantinethoughts #quarantinelife #Roughweek #Fibromyalgia #Migraine #self-doubt

‪Me: I’ve had a pretty good week. ‬
‪My brain: You know what might be fun, 5 panic attacks in 2 days mixed with the fear no one wants to talk to you. ‬
‪Me: Um, no thank you. ‬
‪My brain: Sorry. Already on the schedule.
#Anxiety #Roughweek ‬

This week has been extremely overwhelming and today was the cherry on top of my week. Work was chaotic and draining and I never had a chance to catch a moment for myself. I’m thankful to work with a bunch of therapists, including myself, so I’m able to vent and discuss things and they’re always helpful. But today was different because I couldn’t let go of things. I ended up breaking down and crying in front of my friend. (Which is extremely unlike me). The release from that cry and just talking about everything bothering me was so therapeutic and helpful. I’m so very thankful to have a friend as amazing as him to just listen and comfort me. I found that as my moment of gratitude today despite having such a rough day. Cherish those around you & remember it’s okay to not be okay.

School is really hard for me. I have this strong want to be a straight A student but with anxiety when the work load becomes a lot to handle, I shut down. I hate it so much. But I can’t do anything about it. I haven’t figured out how to not let it effect my grades yet, and it’s really hard because when I get a C I feel like a total failure. I know I’m not, and I know that’s a perfectly acceptable grade but I just can’t help but think I could’ve done so much better. Does anyone have tips on how to deal with shutting down from being too overwhelmed? Anyone else deal with similar things? #Roughweek