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    With the severe trauma and abuse I have, I feel I can realistically only live few "decent" years

    The reality, with the severity of the trauma I experienced, is a life that will mostly be of pain, suicidality, and immense struggle

    I will have more bad days and bad moments than days where I will feel in control

    If I live a long life, it will be a mostly miserable one

    It's better to live a short life that is with happy moments than a long miserable one

    If I was ever diagnosed with an incurable disease, it would honestly be for the best

    People with my kind of trauma can't live healthy fulfilling lives...

    #Suicide #Trauma #Abuse #mentalillnes #Childhood


    When support is a lie

    My sister is an RN who worked in a mental health setting for a couple of years. She has always tried to be supportive, but she's a big proponent of pick yourself up by the bootstraps kind of person. When I had a breakdown several years ago that caused a stutter, she kept trying to blame it on my medication even though my psychiatrist, therapist, and PC all said it was not. So fast forward to this summer, when my nephew told me that she was telling her girls that I was faking that stuttering as a ploy for attention. Then this past week he told me that she talks to her oldest daughter and son about how I am also faking my mental and physical illnesses for attention, that I'm just hurting because I need to lose weight. Now I was already feeling unwelcome in her new house because she pretty much ignored me and called me the day before because she had bought new furniture and I was too heavy to sit in it. I don't think this would hurt so bad except that I was there for her whenever she needed me. I was there when she went to school, as she was pregnant 5 times over 4 relationships, when she needed someone to watch her kids while her husband slept on the couch. I spent years babysitting her kids, helping her to get through school as she worked toward her master's degree, and when I've needed her the most, she not been there. I feel so betrayed, so invalidated, and rejected by someone I've always been there for and will continue to be. I guess it's not really that surprising though, as she also denied me through most of our school years. #shed #rejected #Depression #Anxiety #Sibling #mentalillnes #Nosupport


    my cat

    my cat is not doing well and I am so worried about her. she has been sick for a couple months and it’s only getting worse. she first had a skin condition that was getting infected and she’s been on meds day and night and they didn’t really help. she has something wrong with her kidney and i’m not sure she is going to make it. she is not eating now and hiding away in a closet sleeping all day. she just turned 4 last month, she is so young and I really don’t want to loose her. i’ve lost pets before when I was younger but it didn’t affect me so much because of my age and mostly because I wasn’t able to really feel those emotions due to my now diagnosed metabolic brain disorder. i didn’t have the nuero transmitters to feel sad and grieve. i could only feel numb. i am feeling a lot with what is going on with my cat now and I am so upset and scared. I’ve never bonded with a pet like I have with her. I love her so much and I don’t know what i’m going to do if I loose her. I really need some support😭 #MentalHealth #mentalillnes #Depression #Anxiety

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    #mentalillnes can warp our minds, making us forget how special we really are. If you're not feeling loved today, remember to love yourself and that you deserve love!


    Eating disorder struggles

    Does anyone on here suffer from an Eating disorder and have what they consider “safe food”? I’ve been struggling very much so with my ED thoughts again and I’ve noticed I only feel safe when I eat hard boiled eggs. I heated up some pizza and couldn’t do it, immediately threw it away! It screamed *danger* at me. Any advice is welcomed! #EatingDisorders #AnorexiaNervosa #MentalHealth #mentalillnes


    14 Incredible More Memoirs about Mental Illness & Addiction

    https : // ? source=friends_link&sk=7110b0169817d966f5c4c1be55dacbd1 #Addiction #mentalillnes #Books #memoir


    Coping #MightyPoets #mentalillnes #PTSD

    Everybody is
    Chasing joy.

    But she is diving
    Deeper in her pain.

    There is
    A secret garden
    Under her ocean of grief.

    And it is
    Calling her name.

    Let the world wonder
    Where she is

    While she wanders
    In search of
    The Gardener.

    Nothing can
    Still her now

    A secret rendezvous
    With Him
    Who makes roses

    Out of the thorns
    That pierce her heart

    And melts
    Her grief away.


    Who I Am #MightyPoets #Selflove

    Time away from the toxic.
    Time away that was long forgotten.
    Cutting away those who hurt me the most
    And embracing my self-worth.
    Fear fights courage inside of me
    But accepting who I am sets me free

    Singing, writing, and reading,
    Sewing, designing and pretending.
    Time alone to relax,
    By myself I bring my smile back.
    #Depression #Anxiety #mentalillnes #Selflove #Acceptance