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Giving Myself Grace

Loving Myself through Chronic Pain
#Ileostomy #ChronicPain #FeelingAlone #Nosupport #MedicallyDismissed
Today I will give myself Grace and Love Myself right where I’m at, here…in this moment. I’ve spent years “hating myself”, from failed surgeries, to chronic pain, depression, anxiety, feeling dismissed by doctors/surgeons and the rejection that creates. But today I’m choosing to love me, to give myself Grace, to realize I did not choose this life path rather it chose me. My days do not look like any normal day, any day. That’s okay. I’ve come to accept me, my limitations along with my unquieness. On days I miss the old me, the healthy me, I remind myself life is a journey not a sprint. I take my time to reflect, to feel, to allow those negative feelings to be brought into light so I can deal with them, heal from them. I no longer am running from my reality. Rather I am facing it, the good, the bad and the ugly. Allowing myself to heal from the trauma I’ve faced. Indeed it’s not overnight, sometimes it may be 1 step forward 2 steps back, other days it’s moment by moment… but…. Today I’m choosing to love myself a little more, a little stronger, a little harder. Leaning into acceptance.

9 comments
Post

Why Does No One Care?

Been sick, possible food poisoning. All the stress I have, my boyfriend's fear of vomiting, me trying to do what I can while trying to take care of my mental health and worrying about my physical health, etc., and now I find a post regarding my cats after I posted about being sick, I'm told, "It doesn't matter," and that the lady helping with cats is done with our area. Couldn't get my phone fixed because my boyfriend took it, but I was too weak to go, and they need the password, and I don't want my boyfriend to have it. He said I could change it for when he takes it in, and then change it when I got it back, but he'd still have access to it. He said he "accidentally turned it on" after I had it powered off and then couldn't power it off again because I have it set up so you can't access the phone (including powering it off) without my password. #Anxiety #Depression #PanicDisorder #sick #OCD #Pets #Nosupport #scared #lonely #alone

3 comments
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Mental health team don’t help

I seriously don’t understand why I even bother reaching out to mental health teams here in NZ. over 3 months ago I got told the mental health community team was the next step in better care and they have hardly called me and used lockdown as an excuse to but get me to see a doctor till earlier this week and even then I got told the same bs and got asked the same infuriating questions. I try and try to get the help I need and it blows up in my face like they just waiting for me to end up in hospital emergency room again. #nzmentalhealth #Depression #crisisteam #Anxiety #Doctors #Nosupport

7 comments
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I love all these men, that want to chat, just to find where u r from, if u r married, etc..

They probably don't even have anything wrong with them IMO

I've blocked soany men in the last 2-3 days, wow.

I talked to one person regularly on here and this is supposed to be a support app???

Where's the support???

Now I know why I stay away and only check in periodically, it is me, and I knew it.

#EssentialTemor
#struggling
#nausea
#PeopleWhoDon 'tBelieveYou
#sleepproblems
#themightylife
#HighlysensitivePerson
#ThePainGame
#MightyTogether
#NavigatingTheMighty
#noshame
#CheerMeOn
#ChronicFatigue
#CheckInWithMe
#AloneTogether
#Upallnight
#liftmeup
#MultipleHealthChallenges
#Chatspace
#FamilyAndFriends
#Insomnia
#lonely
#Lonliness
WeAre#MightyTogether
#FinancialIssues
#Nosupport
#Pain
#ChronicPain
#ChronicIllness
#Christian

7 comments
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My name is Jennifer, I'm 36yrs old from Nicholasville, Ky. I'm looking to meet like minded people.

I'm lonely, have several Health Issues, no one cares

I've been called a Debbie Downer and Burden, not friendship material, etc.

I have

Congenital Hydrocephalus
Retinaopathy of Prematurity
Hypertonia
2 L5 S1 Discectomy Back Surgeries
Chronic Knee, Ankle Pain
Essential Tremors
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
Neuropathy
Possible RA

I need support, care, friendship

Thanks for allowing me to join

#Tremors
#struggling
#PeopleWhoDon 'tBeliveYou
#Neuropathy
#sleepproblems
#ChronicPain

#Nosupport
#Friendlessness

14 comments
Post

Are these groups very active, or am I to much, wishing I had others to talk to.

2nd time around and it still doesn't seem like a Support Group.

***Not looking for fakes, since I've came
back, majority of messages and
people wanting to talk have been
fake.***

***So much for Support, Care, and
Encouragement***

Don't recommend Counsoling, or do I need Counsoling, makes me so mad.

All I need is people like u who understand, care, etc

#Upallnight
#ChronicIllness
#ChronicPain
#Burden
#DebbieDowner
#CheckInWithMe
#Nosupport
#sad
#Care
#Support
#spoonielife

40 comments
Post

Doing things for yourself is rough, I believe u all agree, like getting ready for bed, walking, getting up, sitting down, etc? I love my independence, but, wow.

I'm just 37yrs old, so so thankful for u all, yall, have been great support, encouragement, I'm just really struggling right now, pain is throbbing, constantly.

I, so so, get tired of people saying try this, try that, if u would get up and move more, switch doctors, this to shall pass.

Thanks for being my friends and family.

If all that will work, have u been diagnosed with all this???

I have

-Hydrocephalus
-Retinaopathy of Prematurity
-Carpal Tunnel
-Groin Pain
-Essential Tremors
-Shoulder Pain
-2L5 S1 Discectomies
-Knee and Ankle Pain
-De'quarveins Tenosyvitis

Some people may be trying to help, but, please, please don't shove it down my throat.

The thing that gets me, is people say I'll pray for u, ***WILL U REALLY???*** I'll be there for u, ***IF SO, WHERE R U???***

The religious people say, listen to this pastor, he has a healing ministry, the last time I checked, God is the only ONE healing.

Man, a lot of people just don't understand, don't get it, etc.

#Chatspace
#noshame
#Upallnight
#friendships
#lonely
#Lonliness
#Pain
#PainApps
#PhoneAppsForPain
#Painsomnia
#ChronicIllness
#ChronicPain
#CheckInWithMe
#EssentialTremor
#Christianity
#GroinPain
#Nosupport
#Nosupportsystem
#shoulderpain
#BackPain

6 comments
Post

Forgetting to ground.

Does anyone else with C.P.T.S.D find when they get lots of new memories back in a short space of time that it's much harder to remember to ground?

I've been really good at applying grounding technics lately, I've been using them a lot and managing new memories and flashbacks well..

over the last week though I have broken through another memory wall into another valt of trauma, the memories behind that wall were pushed back because they are genuinely Terrifying to the point you could make horror movies out of them!

I broke down that wall and kinda kept it on hold until my therapy session yesterday..
Which was sort of helpful 🤪
yet it also backed up that someone with a professional and outside opinion also feels that the way I'm being treated by the police while trying to report, means I'm genuinely putting myself in danger in the now!!
I knew that anyway.. to have it backed up via an outside professional leaves me feeling im even less safe 😱😳🤯

I don't have many more therapy sessions to go and don't know if I can get more funding.. so very soon I may be in this minefield alone without Anyone to talk to about it all!🤪👀

#Therapist #Nosupport #dangeroursplace #CPTSD #PTSD #futurefears #PanicAttack #MeToo #childhoodabusesurvivor #RapeSurvivors #Childhoodtrauma #justice #fightingabuse

13 comments
Post

The Pain is keeping me up, it is 4:00am and I haven't slept.

I have
Congenital Hydrocephalus,
Retinaopathy of Prematurity
Hypertonia
Chronic Knee, Ankle, Shoulder, Wrist Pain
2 L5 S1 Discectomies
Diverticulitis
Essential Tremors
Epicondylitis
Possible Neuropathy
Possible RA
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
De Quarveins Tenosyvitis
Vocal Tremors
Groin Pain

#ChronicPain
#ChronicIllness
#CheckInWithMe
#Upallnight
#EssenialTremors
#lonely
#Lonliness
#vocal tremors
#Groin Pain
#Nosupport
#Nosupportsystem
#Chatspace
#Friendlessness
#Pain
#Painsomnia
#unloveable

1 comment