Social Anxiety Disorder

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Social Anxiety Disorder
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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is esther. I'm here because I suffer with mental illness like anxiety (mood swings relating to anxiety) and depression. although my depression usually correlates with my anxiety. I have social anxiety disorder and it’s more on the severe scale of anxiety. I get anxious around crowds or get overwhelmed when there’s a lot of chattering/ noise around me. I haven’t been diagnosed with ADD but i have medicine prescribed for it. I take it so it helps me focus better and not get distracted so easily. These days that’s what’s mostly been happening to me more than anxiety. although i got to admit i haven’t been feeling great about my self. i often feel like im ugly and overweight even though people tell me otherwise. I use to get builled for the way i look and it still gets to me till this day so you can pretty much say it takes a toll on my self esteem. If you relate to some of the problems i experience, please comment below so i don’t feel like im struggling on my own. If you want me to elaborate more on a certain part, I can. Thank you for taking your time to read this:)

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression

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Back

Well, I decided to take a break from this app because I thought I didn't need help anymore. Thats far from the truth. My depression has gone downhill again. And I think I might even have an eating disorder (I am going to talk to a therapist on the 24th so hopefully I'll be able to address that. I will not say I have one until then.)

So, I decided I will probably come back on again. I just need support from people who understand my struggles. Who can help me out. I'm sorry for not being active. And I've been having unwanted memories spark more than normal. Thank you for reading

#Depression #MentalHealth #emotinalabuse #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #paranaoia #SocialPhobia #ADHD #MightyTogether #EatingDisorders

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Adult Diagnosis with other things...

Hello. This is the first time I've posted about myself. I was diagnosed with ADHD-Combine two years ago along with social anxiety disorder, avoidant personality disorder, PTSD, and OCPD. I also forgot hearing loss and I have bilateral hearing aids. I am struggling to keep a routine for myself. I make one and it works for a couple days. I never write them down etc. I have found that checking things off works for me. Can someone tell me what is a good digital to do list or tool that I can use in my day to day?

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Something I need to get off my chest

Slight vent////

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So, as people who have read past posts of mine know, I have social anxiety. Pretty bad social anxiety at that. I was diagnosed at the age of 4. I've talked about my fear of big crowds and of people with my parents before. While my youngest brother was listening.

Normally, I wouldn't have thought much about it. But an incident at Mcdonalds one day made me regret talking about it when he was around.

We were at Mcdonalds, and this one happened to have a play place. My other brother, the middle child, wanted to play there and at first, my youngest brother did as well. But the second my youngest brother saw how many people were in there, he freaked.

The thing is this has never happened before. My youngest brother is always the first to want to go into the place. Sure, you might think he might have social anxiety as well, but he hasn't done anything like that ever since. He started complaining that 'oh there are too many people in there' though that has never bothered him before, and 'oh I want to go home'.

Kid even started crying. My other brother was so mad when my male guardian, the only one with us as my mom was at work, said he couldn't go in and took us home.

And who got in trouble for my youngest brothers little fit? Me. I did. When we got home my male guardian looked at me and asked me why I had spoken about my fears. Like excuse me? Because you're my father and you should know how I feel? He told me not to talk about it in front of my little brother again because apparently it was my fault that he acted that way because I hadn't known my brother was listening to our conversations.

Thats not the only time something like that has happened. I've also told my parents about my gender dysphoria and how I felt more like a guy, youngest brother was listening, claimed to be a trans girl once (I know he's not now as he keeps talking about how he's a boy and doesn't want to be a girl) and again, guess who got in trouble for simply talking about it. Me. The look my male guardian gave me made me feel bad I told him about my feelings.

I told a past therapist about it but all she did was say 'okay' and seemingly shrugged it off. Thats why I wanted to talk about it here. My male guardian is good about helping with my physical health but is pretty emotionally neglective towards me. But I just needed to get this off my chest as its been really bothering me.

#SocialAnxiety #Depression #Anxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #SocialPhobia #neglect #MentalHealth #emotinalneglect #MightyTogether

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I don't know how I got so lucky

Slight vent////

As I said above, I don't know how I got so lucky. In what way might you ask? Well, to put it simply, my relationship.

My current relationship it's the longest I've been in. a year next month. And I don't know how they still want to be with me.

I have ADHD, Depression, Anxiety (social), Gender dysphoria, Pedophobia, Abandonment issues (Anxious attachment style), and trust issues which can make relationships hard for me. I get easily attached to people, with that lingering feeling that I'm going to be abandoned. Not very fun.

I've had people (mainly friends) just randomly stop talking to me with no reason. And I mean like, most of my friends ever.

My first relationship was pretty toxic, but I stayed with that person because I felt reliant on them. My next relationship went pretty well until they broke up with me and decided then that everything was wrong with me.

So going into this relationship was slightly scary for me. But I am very, very glad I did. I would not change a single thing about my partner. They love me, for me. We are both aromantic which is nice because I don't feel forced to be romantic. We are both Lgbtq in some way which is also very nice.

We are long distance, very long distance, but they still find time to talk to me. We talk almost 6 hours a day when I'm at school. I know them, they know me, and we respect each other. We understand each other's problems and whenever I need reassurance or validation (which I see myself needing a lot of) I know I can reach out to them.

I feel pretty emotionally neglected by my male guardian, which I hate to admit as he tries so hard to make sure I'm healthy, but is just not very good at helping with my emotional problems and always tries to change the subject or say "Well I know exactly how you feel because ....." and I hate saying this but that doesn't help me at all? Is that okay? Or am I asking for to much?

But I know I can turn to my partner for any emotional validation I need. I've never felt that way with someone.

#Depression #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #SocialPhobia #Pedophobia #ADHD #abandonmentissues #trustissues #neglect #MentalHealth #MightyTogether #GenderDysphoria

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Just a question for fun

Hello everyone, I posted a question yesterday and it seemed to do pretty well so I decided to ask another.

This time I will be asking about books (Who doesn't love a good book every now and then?)

What's your favorite book/book series? (Again, don't feel pressured to answer)

I'll start

I am a huge fan of the series Warriors (Warrior cats) and Wings of Fire as I can relate to some of the characters and in my opinion the books are actually well written.

#MightyTogether #Depression #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #SocialPhobia #MentalHealth #ADHD #Pedophobia #Paranoia #trustissues

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Online quiz

Vent////

So I sometimes take online "Do you have -" quizzes just for fun. I never take them seriously (I am not a self-diagnoser) and I recently took a "Do you have abandonment issues quiz" because I was bored. I got "You Most Likely Have Trust Issues."

I sat there for a couple seconds before I announced to myself, 'I have both.'

Which also led me to think 'Its not noticeable.'

If you were to ask one of my parents if I had trust issues or abandonment issues, they might say no. They blame my lack of communication with strangers on my Social Anxiety.

I've talked about this before I think, but I don't like to talk to people because I fear being abandoned. I currently only have 1 friend and a partner who I talk to as I'm to nervous to branch out. Because 1, I am afraid that I will be ghosted again like every other friend in the past 2, I don't trust many people and 3, i am just nervous about starting conversations.

But here's the truth. I mask most of my feelings around my parents. I only recently told them about my Paranoid thoughts. Are they taking it seriously? Oh of course not.

When my mom encourages me to make new friends I just tell her "I'm just to nervous." not about why or about that fact I don't want to deal with more pain that comes with being abandoned. I really can't. And I don't tell anyone because I don't want to seem like some selfish, self-centered trans kid who wants attention from everyone because I can't get my gender right.

I'm lost. I've been feeling less and less emotions lately. When I laugh, I don't understand why. It just seems like a thing I just do without thinking to cover up my pain. And then i find myself going on and on about my life like this and I start to feel bad. Like I'm just taking up space on the platform.

#abandonmentissues #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #SocialPhobia #trustissues #Depression #LGBTQ

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To be diagnosed or not to be diagnosed

My whole life I thought I had social anxiety, but over the last few years different people have been telling me that I have symptoms of autism. Eventually I recently read a few books on the subject and it was like someone had been studying me and had somehow gained access to my innermost thoughts and feelings. From the biggest thing to the tiniest most trivial thing the books seemed as though they’d been written to specifically describe me. Apart from finally knowing for sure one way or another, what would be the advantages of getting a proper diagnosis of autism?#AutismSpectrumDisorder #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #MentalHealth

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