A little over a year ago my best friend overdosed and passed away.
And it was my wake-up call to get clean💔
My heart was destroyed and I was riddled with survivor's guilt.
I had no idea about the dangers of addiction and withdrawal from pain pills. And to make it worse I was unaware that the pills we had been buying were laced with fentanyl. It's crazy we lasted as long as we did.
I felt so guilty for not knowing and for not educating myself on what I was doing.
I was just having fun with my best friend I didn't know the danger we were in every day.
I started noticing my body was getting sick as the weeks of continual use went by. My period had disappeared my body was swollen everywhere and I was taking them to feel normal I wasn't even able to feel the high anymore. It wasn't fun anymore.
It wasn't until the first time I ran out and got violently sick that I realized how serious the situation was. And after the second time I was done I didn't wanna go through this anymore I was scared.
So my best friend and I decided we would ween ourselves off the pills and get sober together. He was going to move in with me to get out of his toxic home. We worked at the same job and he was planning on coming back full-time and taking the manager position and we would just run it together. We had a plan. So we picked up what we thought would be our last round of pills, though in hindsight I see how there was no way we would have been able to get clean without help, and hung out just like any other day.
It was getting late so I said goodbye and headed to my car to go home. He smiled and said he would talk to me tomorrow and drove off.
I was so happy. So happy that I had such a great person in my life that even tho I was single at least I had him and we were going to get clean together and get our shit together and “grow up”.
I couldn't sleep that night but it didn't bother me I was so excited for my future.
And had an amazing day at work the next day. I hadn't heard from him but that wasn't out of character bc he had another job and it should have been his last day there so I didn't think anything of it.
The following day my boss texted me.
Domi hadn't shown up for work and no one could get a hold of him. He was often late but he always responded to calls and texts and would be on his way.
I began to call him over and over sending texts demanding a response. Still not really worried about it. I was getting ready to drive over to his parents and wake him up when I got a call from my boss.
That call changed my life and simply flipped my world upside down.
“Dominio... He has passed away.”
When I found out it was due to an overdose my heart shattered. I was riddled with survivor's guilt I blamed myself for a long time thinking I got him killed. I cried and cried hoping someone would call and tell me it was all a misunderstanding and that he was okay. I began to abuse the pills I had left to keep my soul from splitting in half. But after his funeral, I decided to burn all the bridges to the connections I had for the drugs.
It's hard to lose someone close to you
It's worse when you realize how much you truly loved them and now they're gone. Your soulmate is gone.
But I couldn't give up its not what he would have wanted and I picked myself back up and by the grace of God, I found an outpatient rehabilitation center that took me in and gave me the help I needed without having to spend a single penny. I was blessed tho my heart was shattered but I was clean and in recovery.
I've been clean of opiates since February of 2022. And graduated from rehab. My heart is still heavy but my body is healing and becoming more and more healthy all the time.
To anyone out there struggling with addiction
I know how hard it is
I know how hard it is to stop or want help
I know life can suck
And I know you know it's making you sick
But there are places out there that are willing to help you
I went to Rediscover🤍
May you find the courage you need to get help before the pain of losing someone or worse your own life.
There are better experiences to be had and a life worth living.
Coming from someone who has been in the pits of my own hell and back.
It Does Get Better.
#StayStrong
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