Still

I really thought..I was strong.. enough to stand my ground .. with all the abuse I somehow managed to exist through. He got deeper than anyone else have.. miniscule as it was..I have been great at the fight or flight act ; me taking the latter. The majority of emotional and physical abuse came at the hand of the woman who gave birth to me... behind her footprint would me a legacy abusers..she placed me with them as she continued to live.. sometimes weeks later..she would pop in for a couple days ; remembering in those unscheduled moments. She had a girl child...who was never allowed to disagree/taking the words of my perpetrators at face value.. Although a great deal of the marks made by un straighten wire hangers now are covered ..When I take a shower..It apparent to this unknown part of me ....It still stings..as I still fear being hit today..my reality few understand why I stop fighting back..Use to it...Use to wanting to run...The seclusion where there's no expectation...I wonder sometime wether or not they think about me. The black sheep the disappointment...I wish they knew how long it took..be thrown away..

I just wanted to brag for a moment, and thought that the Mighty was a good place to do it.
I got up this morning, but only sat in bed for a half a cup of coffee, not my usual two, not wanting to get up. I got dressed right away and took Little Man out (he's my Service Dog and best friend).
My apartment is full of work spaces, I use everything as work benches because I'm working on about 346 different projects at the same time. Tools are everywhere. Pieces and parts and gadgets and ideas are everywhere.
Well, today I completely cleared one whole table,4'x 8', FINISHED nine projects! 9 !!!
For me, lately has been pretty much bad. My body is failing because of who I used to be, which is a whole nother story. My brain is going downhill because of the stroke, and my depression is hard to ignore.
But..... today I got up and LIVED!!! I put one foot in front of the other and kept going!!!
My body will regret it tomorrow, but today was worth it! I lived.
Tell me about your day? Anything exciting, different, funny, inspirational?

#bi polar
#Manic depression
#suicidal ideation
#Suicide attempts
#Stroke
#heart attack
#Childhood traumas
#losing hope
#Still trying hard
#warrior

Hi anyone,
3:25am in Brisbane now, my mind it going a million miles an hour and I should be fast asleep 😴 for my 6:45am start 😔
Wingnut77

I tried posting what I've been experiencing past few days and the administration of this site will not all it to be posted. Kept spinning. Thank you. I believe it's time to end what I was hoping to be way to Express myself without being condemned like by everyone else in my life has done. You all try to take care of yourself the best you and good luck with your doctors. #Still praying and hoping. Jeff A.
#ChronicPain

#It 's been at least a year since https://posted.after #Reading the replys that people have left to my questions and thoughts. I'm finding it hard to #relate to all of these people who have taken the time to read and reply,sadly I'm more used having things I say and do used against me.#ThankYou to everyone on this amazingly kind place I've found some peace