story

It was 5 AM, and I hadn’t slept all night. Until 2 AM, I was scrolling through reels on my phone, but after that, I didn’t even feel like using it anymore. This was because the day before, October 25th, I had slept through most of the day.

This has now become a habit—sleeping during the day and staying awake at night. Staying up all night does bother me sometimes, but I don’t know what to do about it. I avoid taking medication because I fear I’ll get addicted to it.

I have a condition called schizophrenia, which is a complex mental illness. It involves delusions and hallucinations. I hear voices—a problem that began three years ago when we were living in Gwalior.

It was Diwali, and there was a heated argument between my father and uncle. After the lockdown, my uncle started a grocery business similar to ours, likely instigated by a neighbor. Ever since then, he tried to harm our business by badmouthing us to customers and spreading false rumors. While I was managing the shop, he would make comments aimed at undermining my confidence, and my aunt supported him.

Our family tensions escalated after my grandfather passed away, leading to a physical wall being built in our house, splitting it into two halves. On that Diwali afternoon, I heard my uncle loudly badmouthing our shop to a customer. My father initially confronted him, but the argument intensified, and I had to step in. I’m usually an introvert, but at that moment, I screamed at him with all my frustration built up from days of humiliation. My aunt joined in, and in front of the entire neighborhood, she called me a "psycho." People watched and laughed, enjoying the spectacle.

This moment deeply impacted me. My outburst wasn’t just about the insult that day but a response to the countless insults and frustrations I had endured. Being labeled a "psycho" in front of everyone was unbearable, especially when people knew the real culprits were my uncle and aunt.

After that day, I stopped leaving the house and interacting with others. It felt like people were mocking or laughing at me. This marked the beginning of the voices I started hearing.

Despite several attempts by my father to resolve family issues, we were stuck in Gwalior because our shop was the only source of income. We even tried relocating, but legal issues and frauds caused financial losses, leaving us with no choice but to stay in our divided house.

Over time, the city road-widening project took away a part of our shop's land, reducing its value. Eventually, we sold the house for a much lower price than its worth and moved to Mathura.

After that Diwali, I avoided interacting with my relatives and neighbors. I could sense people judging me. I was unaware that these feelings were early signs of a mental illness. The chaos in my life from 2017 to 2021 became the root cause of my condition.

Even as a child, I grew up in an environment of constant conflict. My father, being the eldest, took on responsibilities to support the family, but my uncle, with a completely opposite nature, never took anything seriously. My father’s grocery shop was successful because of his hard work, while my uncle flitted between various businesses without much success.

During the lockdown, my uncle and aunt started their grocery shop, creating unnecessary competition and conflict. They would open their shop earlier than ours, close later, and constantly try to steal our customers by spreading false information. This behavior tarnished the reputation of both shops.

No matter how hard my parents tried, peace was unattainable. The ongoing disputes left an indelible mark on me. I longed to escape, to find a job and avoid the shop entirely.

By 2020, I started hearing voices—a symptom of my growing mental health struggles. My family’s internal strife, coupled with the external pressures of societal judgment, had taken a toll on me. The conflicts weren’t limited to our family; some relatives and neighbors added fuel to the fire, making the situation worse.

These years of turmoil shaped my struggles, and I’m still trying to navigate through them, hoping for a day when I can find peace and regain control over my life.

#story #Agoraphobia #Schizophrenia

#MentalHealth #Thank

Sophie loved nothing more than spending time outside, exploring the woods near her house. She would often spend hours wandering through the trees, admiring the beauty of nature and the peace it brought her. One day, while on her latest adventure, Sophie stumbled upon an old locket lying on the ground. She picked it up and examined it closely, intrigued by its delicate design and the intricate patterns etched onto its surface.

Sophie decided to keep the locket and wore it around her neck every day. But as she began to wear the locket, strange things started to happen. She started having vivid dreams and saw flashes of an unfamiliar world. She couldn't explain the strange visions, but she knew they were connected to the locket.

Determined to uncover the mystery behind the locket, Sophie set out on a magical journey of discovery and self-discovery. She consulted with local experts and pored over old books and maps, trying to decipher the locket's secrets. Her quest led her to a hidden portal deep in the woods, which transported her to a fantastical realm filled with wonders beyond her wildest dreams.

As Sophie explored this new world, she encountered all kinds of strange creatures and met new friends along the way. She soon discovered that the locket was a powerful talisman that could transport her between worlds and grant her incredible abilities. But she also learned that with great power came great responsibility, and she struggled to balance her newfound abilities with her desire to protect those she loved.

In the end, Sophie faced her greatest challenge yet when she was forced to confront an evil sorcerer who sought to use the power of the locket for his own gain. With the help of her friends, Sophie was able to defeat the sorcerer and save the day. But she knew that her journey was far from over, and that there was still so much to explore and discover in the world beyond.

As Sophie returned to her own world, she looked down at the locket around her neck, and knew that it would always be a symbol of her adventures and the incredible journey she had taken. She felt grateful for the experiences she had had and knew that she would always be connected to the magical world she had discovered.

The end.

www.astrokabir.in/%3Ctopic%20id= " originalText="https://www.astrokabir.in/ "> #thelostlocket #emotional #Viral

#Porencephaly #story #exhaustion #help #Misdiagnosed #underdiagnosed #complexcase #26years #symptomlist #rejected #Support #LongPost

(If you took the time to read this your amazing, seriously!)

Hi. My name is Nick. I'm new here. As much as I loathe this, I'am a complex case. I've been dealing with an unusual dilemma. I get diagnosed with one set of diseases, then getting a second & third set of diagnosis that don't seem related to the 1st set of diagnosis. What do I mean? The genetic test are the first set of results. Then the porencephaly with other incidental findings are the 2nd set of diagnosis with the 3rd and most recent set being due to my throat symptoms: adult dysphagia, adenopathy, & neck crepitus with manual right shift of trachea." I can't be overthinking this but, I can't shake the feeling something is wrong possibly beyond the scope of porencephaly. I got accepted by nord for the campaign but that was about it. My rare disease submission never got posted & I got turned down by my geneticist for further testing with the remark of "There's nothing else I can do for you." *Even though I made mention of my cousin having a cyst that causes speech issues.* ( thanks alot.) Sigh* depressed face*. Oh well, guess I look forward. Along with neurology & spinal specialist in may I now have an neck ultrasound with possible echogram later this month on top of an ENT in late April. One might argue I'm doing this to myself but that would be the partial truth because I let something possibly dangerous get away with tearing me apart even though all the symptoms are painless.

Why? Why this sudden deterioration in health as of a year or so ago? All the waiting has lead to partial answers. I almost want someone to sit down & figure out what I should focus on treating & what needs to be ignored. Sometimes I wake up thinking about wanting to make a model train set or traveling to a distant place & enjoying it. Too bad the former is expensive & requires too much space for our basement. The latter doesn't happen enough for me.

I'm exhausted & ready to just give someone all my records/history & just say "figure it out." I've been wanting this to be over for a good while now but new things keep coming up & I feel like some time soon I'll stop going to doctors because I don't want to deal with the process of getting surprise diagnosis ten.

I've had issues since birth with a neonatal stroke that we now know has turned cystic & has given us a piece of it's mind having been through many doctor visits throughout my 26 years of my family & me searching for answers. Here's the rundown: List of symptoms

Larygnomlacia-infant historic

Tinnitus-started at age 15

Tmj-age 15

Eye tilting up-age 15

Floaters-age 15

Dysphagia*~2019 couldn't swallow liquid properly.

Pinched nerve in neck~2021 got better with chiropractic intervention diagnosed as pots.

Neck/throat clicking same time as dysphagia & pinched nerve. Got better with chiropractor but still have some dysphagia & throat clicking.

Feeling of food being stuck in throat*~2019

Recently diagnosed adenopathy, esophageal dysphagia, & neck crepitus.

Chiropractor caused spinal lean with digestive upset in early 2022. Digestion is ok now. But posture lean is still an issue.

Recently diagnosed through mri & x-ray with porencephaly (brain cyst) this took 26 years to diagnose, mucous retention cyst, hemosiderin deposit, choroid plexus cysts & scoliosis of upper region with mild lumbar retrolisthesis.

Grip weakness- started after leaving chiropractor in Feb. 2022

Alarming rate of deterioration from being relatively healthy to needing cane due to posture lean. Most recent symptom is waking up to my left arm on my chest & having difficulty keeping it straight.

There was a change in walking pattern as of a few years ago due to coordination challenges since toddlerhood.

At birth I had a neonatal stroke looking like a premiee at full term. There was an undescended testicle (corrected at 6 years), 2 small holes in heart that healed on their own, microcephaly concerns, intrauterine growth restriction though grew out of it very quickly to 6ft 3in, & thrombocytopenia at birth.

Have strabismus, nystagmus, hyperopia, optic blurring in right eye.

Posture lean causes opposing foot to stand on toes.

Followed closely as a child but was dropped when we moved states in 2011.

Been in colorado since june of 2017.

Use to have sensation in left arm of pulling sensation when peeing.

Genetics testing according to the geneticist is insignificant but carrier for cep290 maternally & have chromosome 4p31.3-32.1 microduplication syndrome paternally with unknown significance which falls under chromosome 4p duplication syndromes (only 85 in the world.)

Also have unusual anal quivering (seldom talked about)

Have seen multiple doctors including neurologist (seeing one in may.), 2 physical therapist, 3 chiropractors, , neuropsychologist (childhood), on my 3rd primary doctor & genetics. I'm also seeing a spine specialist in May.

In tears* someone help me put this all together because it's destroying me!

True to my nature, I share candidly about my childhood and ongoing abuse. Being honest is not hard for me. However, remaining in contact with people is my weakness.

As an example, I shared raw information about the abuse of my childhood, which has repercussions of ongoing control from the same abuser well into my adult life. This obnoxious toxic behavior is confronted whenever we engage in conversation. I “brush” it off, when I encounter it. However, the wounds of the past are evidently not healed because puss and decay fill the emotional scares that remain. How can they heal if the same manipulative controlling tendencies are continuously bruising the soul?

Any thoughts on withdrawal when vulnerability is expressed, #TheMighty folks?

Healing is occurring. But the social refrain from being vulnerable embarrassingly keeps me at a distance as if the childhood secret of esteeming the physical abuser, publicly, must remain behind closed doors to keep their reputation intact. I was the “clumsy one” when the scars were evident at school, church, or at the market. The abusive parent was honored for having to raise such a “clumsy” child. #ChildhoodAbuse #Reality

I suffer from Quiet BPD. Now to be honest with you it would be abnormal for me not to be living with bpd. For me this is normality because I never lived a different way. What about you tell me your story#BPD #story #MentalIllness

My life is an open book… BUT I am the Author.

What do you think this means?”

For me, It means that even though I tell my story, I’m the only Author and no one has the right to tell you how your story ends. #Writing #WritingTips #WritingThroughIt