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    #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder , #Abuse and #Marriage

    If you are afflicted with cPTSD, I strongly suggest any of the books by Pete Walker. Aside, relationships are problematic for us so what happens if your relationship is with an abusive bipolar partner? The abuse was verbal, mental, emotional not nearly what I experienced as a child, but it feels just as bad. Upon telling this to my therapist he declared that is one of the reasons I’m not ready to divorce said partner. I caught my partner sneaking through my phone in the middle of the night and that, as difficult as it was, gave me the chance to set my boundaries and take my Self back. We had been sleeping separately and I did tell him we are not together, I have never told him we are now together but since then he has had medical reasons for needing to sleep in our shared bed. I permitted this as long as we had clear space separation and now he is trying to wiggle back in to my life as if nothing happened. I do not trust this man, and I feel as scared to speak to him as I would my father. Again, my therapist says this is a reason I’m not ready to divorce him. My question is, should I get a new therapist? This man had abused me for 15 years and he insists that even if I’m to divorce, this isn’t the right time I’m not stable enough. I feel very sure about this… #Advise #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #BipolarDisorder #spouse #ChildhoodAbuse #Marriage #Therapist

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    Ways To Help Your Spouse with Depression

    Depression is a mental illness that requires treatment just like any other medical condition. If your spouse is suffering from depression, there are things that you can do to help. Helping your spouse get treatment, supporting your spouse during treatment, and taking good care of yourself are all important ways that you can help your spouse recover from depression. Keep reading to learn more about how to help your spouse with depression.

    Recognize the symptoms of depression in your spouse. You may suspect that your spouse is depressed by the way he or she is acting. If you are unsure, there are several common signs of depression that may help you to determine if something is wrong:

    Persistent sad feelings

    Loss of interest in hobbies, friends and/or sex

    Excessive fatigue or feeling slowed down in thinking, speaking, or movement

    Increased or decreased appetite

    Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

    Trouble concentrating and making decisions

    Irritability

    Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism

    Weight loss or gain

    Aches pains or digestive problems

    Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness

    Encourage your spouse or partner to seek help if they haven't already. Your spouse's depression may be so debilitating that it makes him/her unable to ask for help. He or she may also be embarrassed about their condition. If you suspect your spouse has depression, encourage them to talk to a therapist

    Educate yourself. Understanding depression, its effects, and treatment will allow you to better understand your spouse and help him or her to make informed decisions. Ask questions, read books and visit reliable websites about the diagnosis and treatment of depression. There are many organizations that provide resources for people suffering from depression

    Encourage your spouse to open up to you. Talking openly about depression as a real illness with real consequences often brings relief to people with depression, since it demonstrates that someone cares and is willing to help. It is important for your partner to get professional help, but your partner may also benefit from talking to you about their feelings.

    Listen when your spouse wants to talk. Demonstrating that you are hearing your spouse and understanding his or her point of view is another important aspect of supporting them through recovery. Allow your spouse to tell you about his or her feelings and make sure that you allow your spouse to fully express themselves

    Don’t pressure your spouse into sharing. Just let them know that you are willing to listen when they are ready and give them time.

    Be attentive as you listen to your spouse. Nod and react appropriately to let them know that you are listening.

    Try echoing what your spouse has just said now and then during the conversation to let them know that you are paying attention.

    Avoid getting defensive, trying to take over the conversation, or ending sentences for them. Be patient even though it might be hard sometimes.

    Continue to make your spouse feel heard by saying things like, “I see,” “Go on,” and “Yes.

    Participate in your spouse's or partner's recovery. While you may not understand the reasons for your spouse's depression, it is important that you support him or her during the treatment process. You may have some idea of what you can do to help your spouse, but if you are not sure you could also ask. Some ways that you could help your spouse include.

    Taking over some of your spouse’s usual responsibilities. This may mean taking over some of the tasks your spouse or partner used to be responsible for, such as paying bills, talking to people who knock at the front door, dealing with neighborhood disputes, etc. Ask your partner what you could do to help if you are not sure. Keep in mind that you won’t be taking over your spouse’s responsibilities forever, just until he or she recovers. You can also enlist the help of friends and family.

    Making sure your spouse is taking care of his or her physical needs. Make sure that your spouse is eating well, getting moderate exercise, sleeping well, and taking his or her medications.

    Encourage your spouse or partner to do the things they used to enjoy and to try new things that might help with their recovery. Ask them to go to the movies with you or to go on walks with you. If they refuse the first few times, just be patient and keep asking. Just don't push too hard, since he or she may not be able to cope with too many activities at once

    Plan fun things to do. Your spouse might feel more comfortable just spending time at home with you and your family, but you should plan fun activities for the whole family to enjoy. It's good for everyone in a family to have things to look forward to. These will be beneficial for not only your spouse or partner with depression but also for you and for any kids, as a change in environment will give you all a break

    Look after yourself. It's easy to forget about your own needs when your spouse is in pain, but if you're unable to function properly, then you won't be able to help. In fact, feelings of depression can influence the mood of your entire family. That's why you should be sure to take good care of yourself while you are helping your spouse deal with depression.

    Get enough sleep, eat well, keep exercising, and keep in touch with family and friends for emotional support.

    Set aside some alone time to step away from the situation.

    Consider getting therapy or joining a support group since this may help you cope better with your spouse's depression

    You'll also need to deal with the impacts of your spouse's or partner's depression on your kids; seek advice from your doctor and other health professionals in charge of caring for your kids' well-being. #Depression #spouse #supporting #Therapy

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    Venting #Depression #spouse #ADHDInGirls

    These past few months have been very hard for me. I have so sad, lonely, and lost. I feel like empty and not enough. I lost my uncle who was more like my father back in may and I never got to say goodbye. I’m also dealing with a spouse of 13 years who has been taking drugs more often. Ive been trying my hardest to keep everyone in my family happy while I lost myself in this depression. Also I gave this man my heart only for him to tell me that while he was at work he meet a girl and they started flirting and she gave him attention that he felt he wasn’t getting from me. He would come home and tell me he feels like I have another guy when it was him. They work together and he flat out told me he liked the attention she gives him. What I can’t figure out is what the more can I give this man? I gave him my whole heart only for him to rip it apart. Then the part that I can forgive is that while I’m in the church crying for my uncle he was sitting outside with out Amazing son on the phone with her. Idk what to do somedays I want to pack a bag for my son and I get in the car n leave. My son is at the age where he know something is wrong and begs me to stay with his dad, he wants to have one family not two houses. So I stay for my boy but I’m definitely not happy I’m building a wall around my tired heart so when am ready I’ll be strong enough. Most day I cry begging anyone listening to help me be stronger to put myself first. I’ve spent years basically my whole life catering to everyone but me. I have to learn self love. It should be 1. Me 2. My Son 3. Family 4.relationship
    The sad thing is last Wednesday I felt myself slipping into the darkness so I wrote in my journal and I even tried talking to him but he instead chose drugs or me once again. Pouring my heart out to this man is a broken record. This is the life of loving someone who has an addiction disease. The drug comes before everything.

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    Rejection

    It is really really hard for me to tell my husband when I’m depressed or anxiety ridden. So I will preface this my saying I firmly believe that he is on the Autism spectrum. Today I finally got the courage to tell him about the ptsd and how it manifested and why it’s been effecting me. Since he grew up in a loving environment he just doesn’t understand or can relate. It was like talking to a brick wall! No words or jesters of any kind to comfort me. It made me REALLY mad. I then I tell myself that it isn’t in his DNA to be able to respond the way I think he should. I’m trying to have compassion for him but wish he would for me.

    #Depression #Anxiety #Rejection #PTSD #Autism #Family #spouse

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    Lover (spouse) vs favorite person

    Hi, i have questions regarding favorite person. My husband had a fp before, i want to know more about fp because i think they are like lover. I feel he cheated on me.
    What is the different between lover (spouse etc) and favorite person?
    Can someone who has bpd have both at the same time?
    Can people who has bpd live without a fp.

    Its very confusing and make me depress. I have 2 kids that depending on me, so i need to be in a clear and calm mind. Thank you in advance.

    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #FavoritePerson #spouse

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    Happy #Valentines Day! #Spoonie #spouse #Partner #Love

    This Valentines day I would like to give a shout out to the able bodied partners who choose to stay in the muddy, the ugly, the uncomfortable, the depressive, the unstable, the frustrating, the confused, the pain-filled, the numerous hospital visits, the side effects of medicines, the new diagnosis, the physically challenged, the I give-up on life, the I can't leave bed, the I can't cook or do chores, the chronic illness life that was handed to us. We may not say it many times but thank you. ♥️♥️♥️

    Thank you for the way you serve us wholeheartedly, for your patience with us, for making us smile and laugh, for giving us something happy to look forward to, for taking us to numerous hospital visits, for buying medicine for us, for dealing with the side effects of the medicines, for doing chores on our behalf, for showing us love in ways we didn't even think we could experience being chronically ill. We see you. We appreciate you. We are eternally grateful for you. And we love you! ♥️♥️♥️

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    What can I do to show my BiPolar Husband that he is loved, valid, desired and brave?

    #BipolarDisorder #Support #spouse
    #mentallyinlove

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    My husband #spouse , #Autism #high functioning, recently diagnosed. Relationship #relationship #Marriage #MdDS #Autism advice anyone?

    Married 16yrs, been good, his being diagnosed explains a lot. I have depression, anxiety, OCD myself. He was recently officially diagnosed in September 2019 and it has been a MAJOR life adjustment for both of us.

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    How do I get my husband to understand that my lack of sex drive has nothing to do with him.

    My new meds have killed any sex drive that I had. My husband is frustrated because we used to have a healthy sex life. When I tell him no or I'm just not in the mood he gets pouty or he will get slightly angry. Not at me but more the situation. It then makes me feel really guilty and like I'm a badd wife because I don't want to have sex. What do I do? How do I get him to understand this isn't about him? I've explained to him how I feel since starting these new meds and that I don't have any control over it. #Medication #sexdrive #Marriage #husband #spouse

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    ?sign of a #Controlling #relationship

    Have a #coworker who recently got #married to previously #unmarried #Older man, very #rapid #relationship .

    Now she has #cutoff many #Friends and #Coworkers . When he comes to #Office to pick her up for lunch, neither stops to say hello to coworkers.

    #ToxicMarriage #ToxicRelationships #Controlling #Partner #spouse #husband #AbusiveRelationship