values

So I been going to this “trauma college” six months now and they have taught me ACT skills, the most mindblowing being that you can have values and when you do things that move you away from your values you tend to feel like crap/maybe accomplish less.

I was brought up a messages that told me not only did I not matter but that I better be perfect or risk death, all the while being abused from all sides for like my first 16 years. We also moved around so much I never formed solid connections outside myself and so I guess it’s why I now realize; Disassciative Identity Disorder perfect fits me. The idea that I’m allowed to even discover my values is great, but how am I supposed to move towards any that I identify if 1.) some of my parts value exactly the opposite of what other parts value, and 2.) I don’t even yet know all my parts but I DO know that (how unfair!) if they don’t all have a say some will act out even tho I don’t know what they want??

I felt frozen when this topic came up. Fear that i have no values, shame and guilt for feeling indecisive about it and not knowing, fear of what could be my values, feeling helpless and hopeless about it and feeling resentful and angry about it. How do people know their values? What is the difference between values and beliefs? #Fear #Shame #anger #resentment #Guilt #BPD #helpless #hopeless #Indecisive #Judgement

#abusesurvivor #Codependency #Selflove

Only an insane person would not question what role they played when a situation has a negative outcome.
It takes having a balanced self image and knowledge of how you show up in the world and in your relationships ( intimate and platonic) to pick apart any given life challenge and isolate what you did and didn’t do and how those choices had an impact on the end result. You may have to admit to yourself some things that cause you pain to realize.
This is particularly difficult to do if you have a distorted idea of yourself. You may consider yourself to be a good friend yet everyone in your friend circle has an issue with you. You might think people find your rapid speech and loud laughter annoying but typically when your going on the audience is rapt.
You must know how you think when under pressure
You must know what makes you laugh
You must know what makes you feel loved
You must know what makes you excited
What do you value in mankind?
What insecurities do you have? what do they stem from?
Knowing what makes you tick is how you know what you stand for
Knowing, appreciating and loving your skills and gifts build a personal sense of value.
The choice to accept toxic behavior is a reflection of the value you place on yourself.
If you don’t know what you stand for, anything can knock you down
If you are not secure in what you know you contribute to the world and to your relationships anyone can convince you that you are not shit
#knowledgeofself #values #SelfDoubt

Only an insane person would not question what role they played when a situation has a negative outcome.
It takes having a balanced self image and knowledge of how you show up in the world and in your relationships ( intimate and platonic) to pick apart any given life challenge and isolate what you did and didn’t do and how those choices had an impact on the end result. You may have to admit to yourself some things that cause you pain to realize.

This is particularly difficult to do if you have a distorted idea of yourself. You may consider yourself to be a good friend yet everyone in your friend circle has an issue with you. You might think people find your rapid speech and loud laughter annoying but typically when your going on the audience is rapt.

You must know how you think when under pressure
You must know what makes you laugh
You must know what makes you feel loved
You must know what makes you excited
What do you value in mankind?
What insecurities do you have? what do they stem from?

Knowing what makes you tick is how you know what you stand for
Knowing, appreciating and loving your skills and gifts build a personal sense of value.
The choice to accept toxic behavior is a reflection of the value you place on yourself.

If you don’t know what you stand for, anything can knock you down

If you are not secure in what you know you contribute to the world and to your relationships anyone can convince you that you are not shit

#knowledgeofself #values #SelfDoubt

I took off the dress and put on my comfy jeans and a sweater. I did about ten minutes of calm coloring. My mom found me hiding out and saw the tears. She reminded me I can take something for the anxiety I was having, and she brought me a glass of water. She told me to allow like a half hour for it to kick in.

That was really a perfect gift from her. She understands now. She sees what the real values are, in feeling good and being together, rather than looking well put together but feeling like you'd rather be anywhere else.

Thanks Mom.
#Anxiety #Depression #Gratitude #Empathy #calm #values #motherdaughter