I don't want to be strong.
You are strong if you survived unspeakable abuse.
You are strong if you go through your daily life without complaint.
You are strong if you are able to go through the motions of living (surviving) daily.
What if you are tired of being strong?
What if all you want to do, even for just one day, acknowledge your real feelings and / needs?
I am a single mother.
I went through unspeakable abuse.
I have bipolar disorder, GAD, SAD, C-PTSD, CFS, chronic pain, etc...
I maintain a full-term job, raise my child, juggle between work, schoolwork, time for my child and homework.
Time for myself gets put on the backseat.
I want to admit I am in pain, I am struggling, I am not okay, I need a hug, without getting looks of consternation or confusion, and without any judgement.
I want to acknowledge what I am feeling, without feeling guilty about it. I want to be able to explain why I can not do this today without having to answer 10 000 questions.
For just 1 day I want to forget I am all the world expects me to be. Or be a different person with no ties or obligations to anyone.
I want to acknowledge that I am only human, I also hurt, I also get tired and lonely and frustrated. I also have a limit to what I can endure and what I can cope with.
I am tired of only surviving and being strong. I want to live & thrive, and I need to admit to being weak and needing help to get there.