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    Reframing: Looking Back on Past Experiences to Change the Future

    I had a therapy session today that went really well. We focused on the topic of reframing and thought challenging. I never really practiced my therapy skills before (I'll admit) but now that I have to face a toxic person I will use all the skills I have. Besides this, I often undermine myself and my past successes. Though I call myself an abuse survivor I don't have the best self esteem.

    Reframing has taught me that situations depend on how you look at them. Yes I take reality into account and recognize that the toxic person will be there and that may lead to a PTSD response. Though this is true, my therapist also said that anxiety is there to tell us something but we can acknowledge it is there but also acknowledge that there are other goals. Like mine is to speak my truth.

    Shortly after the abuse came to light I was abandoned at a motel for a week. I wasn't sure if I could get through it at the time. I was afraid I would be hurt again. By the grace of God I managed to survive. I got through it even when I thought I couldn't. I survived the abuse in general and that's something. Yet I have to reframe my anxious thoughts because for me, that leads to spiraling.

    I can look back on those past experiences and say to myself I can do hard things. Confronting this particular toxic person will be triggering but it's just another hard thing I have to do. I'm sure there are hard things that you've overcome too.

    Never degrade yourself, be proud of your accomplishments. Reframe if you must. As always stay safe. What are you proud of? There's always something to celebrate. It doesn't have to be anything huge, whatever you accomplished is good enough. I believe in all of you. Thanks for believing in me. I appreciate it.

    #SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #PTSD #Perspective #Therapy #wisdom #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Hope #celebrate #Life #abusesurvivor #MightyTogether

    7 reactions 3 comments

    Knowing When You've Had Enough

    Personally, I am tired of hearing that toxic family are still family and that you should endure their toxic behavior because they are family. It is important to know when you've had enough. No one deserves to be abused or hurt in anyway. Walking away or terminating a relationship does not make you a bad person or a toxic person. I had to cut my family out of my life for the sake of my own well-being. At first I felt guilty and ashamed. I bought into the they're your family. I bought into that for so long that the guilt started interfering in my life. It took a lot of therapy, self reflection and help from my fiancé to realize that I don't need them. I didn't deserve to be abused by my family. Walking away means you love yourself enough to know your worth. It took me a long time to learn that I am worth something. I am more than what was done to me. Choosing to terminate those relationships seems to be the best thing I've done so far. I'm not holding out hope of reconciliation. This also takes a lot of acceptance. I may never get the apology I so desperately deserve. I have to be okay with that. Some days it still bothers me though, but overall I am okay with no apology. You need to know that you are worthy of being loved, respected and treated with compassion. You do not deserve to be abused in any way. Remember walking away or terminating a relationship does not make you a toxic person. Don't let people tell you that it's your fault for cutting people out. Know your worth.

    #Abuse #abusesurvivor #PTSD #Family #Toxic #Realtionships

    11 reactions 2 comments

    Linguistics -A matter of language

    As someone with a Bachelor's in English, words and their meanings, as well their usage are important to me. The use of mental illnesses as adjectives for example (she's so Bipolar, he's so OCD) really frustrate me. Most people that engage in this practice have no idea what those illnesses entail. As someone with Bipolar Disorder I can tell you that it is more than mood swings. I do not have OCD but I can relate to those that have PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. I was formally diagnosed back in 2019. And yet, people throw those words around without knowing what they truly mean. I'm sure a lot of you feel the same way. Another matter I would like to cover is the use of the word suffering. Suffering implies pain and while certain illnesses involve pain, suffering also implies that it is life long. I disagree. Some illnesses cannot be cured per se but they can be managed and tolerated. Another problem is the usage of the statement I am. (I am Bipolar, Anorexic etc.) You are more than your mental or physical illness. You are not your diagnosis. Instead try saying I have Bipolar or whatever mental or physical illness you have. By making a simple change in how you speak, you can change your whole outlook. You live with your mental illness, you are not the illness. You are a wonderful and resilient person that is thriving despite your illness. Just try changing how you speak and see what happens.

    #Abuse #abusesurvivor #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Language #Life #thankful #Motivation #Inspiration

    13 reactions 3 comments

    Sentiment-The Small Things

    As an abuse survivor, I've learned that it's the little things in life that hold the most value. For example, I have a bracelet with a butterfly charm on it. The butterfly holds a lot of sentimental value because it was from my fiancé and it is a reminder to not #Selfharm . I used to harm myself via cutting but now I no longer do that. Something as little as a charm holds so much meaning. It's the little things that remind me that life is worth living. I used to deal with #SuicidalIdeation and even attempted to overdose but now I have a loving family that I can call my own. I am finally safe and do not have to worry about further abuse. Sure I still have a lot of healing to do but I have also made a lot of progress. It's the memories that I've made with my family that bring me the most joy. My fiancé and I could be doing nothing and we are content together. Just enjoying each other's company. Going for walks or baking, celebrating the holidays even if we do not do much. It is these things that remind me that everything is and will be okay. Today my #PTSD got triggered and I cried but then I started thinking about all the positives in my life and I felt a little better. I accept that I am not fully healed and will have days where memories of the trauma and abuse still get to me. I can look at the little things and be happy. It does not have to be something big to make you happy. What is something that holds a lot of meaning for you?

    #Abuse #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Selfharm #Suicide #Joy #Motivation #thankful #Trauma #sentiment #Inspiration #abusesurvivor #checkin

    9 reactions 4 comments

    Things I need to hear as an abuse survivor- and things you might need to hear too

    Sometimes as abuse survivors, we beat ourselves up and feel so alone. Like we are the only ones that were abused. But this is not true. Below I have listed somethings that have helped me and I hope they help you too:

    You are worthy of love and respect.

    You deserve to be safe and free from any kind of abuse.

    You are lovable despite the abuse.

    The abuse was not your fault.

    You are capable of healing.

    You are beautiful.

    You are strong.

    You deserve to be heard.

    You deserve to be treated with compassion.

    You deserve to live a full and happy life despite the abuse.

    Your experience and feelings are valid.

    I hope this helps someone. I know I needed to hear it too. Best wishes friends:)

    #PTSD #Abuse #abusesurvivor #Healing #Hope

    11 reactions 6 comments

    Ending Relationships

    Is there a point in which you cannot save a relationship? A few years ago I cut a family member out of my life, she was abusive and toxic. I tried many times to understand her and be respectful. All the while being emotionally abused. Though I did not know it at the time-until now in which I am dealing with the after effects. One of them being #PTSD . I also suffer from low self-esteem, low self-worth and a lack of self respect. It pains me to realize that I had to do that but I came to the realization she is bad for my mental health. I had to cut her off which used to cause me to grieve. Now, I realize that some relationships cannot be saved. Even if they are family. In families there should be no toxicity and certainly no abuse of any kind. Spoke about this in therapy and learned from my group mates that I need to prioritize myself and advocate for myself. The problem is that it is hard for me. I am so used to put everything and everyone ahead of myself. I operate out of fear of conflict and upsetting people. I want to stop acting out of fear. I know this takes time but it frustrates me that the fear gets in the way. I just want to be able to act from a place of self respect. Remember that it is okay to cut toxic people out of your life, especially if they are being abusive or toxic. Do not let people tell you that you have to tolerate that behavior. It's okay to protect your mental health.

    #EmotionalAbuse #PTSD #Abuse #abusesurvivor #Toxic #Family #Relationships #Healing

    5 reactions 4 comments

    Mentality- That's What It's About

    Last night, I was taught a harsh truth. One that I was't prepared to hear but a truth nonetheless. I know I wrote about the sadness of coming from a broken family, but after much thought that truth struck a chord with me. Why cry over someone that wouldn't cry over you? What is there to miss about an abusive situation? I really had to think about these questions. My conclusion is that there is nothing to miss. Though I do miss a particular sibling I know that I will see him again some day. It's just a matter of time. Which brings me to my next point, mentality. I learned to turn my sadness into motivation to make myself better. Instead of wallowing in sadness I have decided to better myself. So you see? You can wallow in negativity or turn it into motivation for something else. It really is about how you look at life. I am so thankful for learning this truth. I am not sad anymore as I have turned it into motivation and determination. So if you are struggling, think about the lesson the emotion is teaching you. Then convert that emotion into something else. It is possible. I am so thankful for my family and all their love for me. I really am. So this thanksgiving, let's be thankful for the positives in our lives and spread this positivity. Wishing you all a safe and happy Thanksgiving. Blessings my friends:)

    #thankful #Motivation #Hope #Love #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #Abuse #abusesurvivor #Family #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Holidays

    8 reactions 3 comments

    Pushing Forward-A New Outlook on My Experiences

    I enjoy self-reflection because it allows me the opportunity to really look at what I have been through. I wrote earlier about how outlook can change things. While I cannot say I am thankful for having been abused, I am thankful for the lessons it has taught me. It has taught me many things about people and about life. But it has also shown me that I am not the things they said I was. That I can use the experiences of the abuse to heal and thrive despite what they did. I am thankful for the lessons it has taught me because without it I may not be where I am today. I might not be in the loving relationship I am in now, be living where I am or be surrounded by a loving family if I had not spoken up about the abuse. Speaking up was scary but that too taught me things-that I am brave. If I had not spoken up I do not want to think about what my life might be like. I do know however that I can be thankful even in the midst of hardship. I am thankful for the life I have now and those in it. So while I did not appreciate the abuse, I appreciate what it taught me. You see? You can even be grateful for the lessons the hard things in life teaches you. Life can be a cruel teacher sometimes but a teacher nonetheless. I am pushing forward each day while reminding myself of this new revelation. And so can you. No matter what you have been through- there is a lesson to be grateful for.

    #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #abusesurvivor #Hope #Blessed #Inspiration #thankful #Life

    1 comment

    Feeling a bit rundown so the depression is getting a little harder to deal with. Even if I am getting sick, I refuse to give in. I think what else is making this slightly difficult is that the #BipolarDisorder is triggering the #PTSD . The negative thoughts and feelings of the abuse I experienced will come back and worsen the depression. It's like a cycle. As I said before, it's also about outlook. I am not discrediting professional help or lifestyle changes at all. I'm only saying that if you remain thankful, stick to your coping mechanisms and reach out for help that everything will be okay. Acceptance is also key. Acceptance is hard too but by accepting things that can't be changed you give yourself space to heal and grow. I accept that I survived years of horrific abuse and I also accept that the mental illnesses I have can trigger each other. But I remain thankful. Today I am thankful for all of you-for your support and advice. To let me know that I am not alone in my struggles. Thank you all.

    #BipolarDisorder #Depression #Lifestyle #PTSD #Abuse #abusesurvivor #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #thankful #Hope #Blessed #Inspiration

    6 reactions 4 comments

    Still Going-Even With Depression

    Not sure how long this episode is going to last but a combination of things have really helped. One of those things being a change in outlook. I no longer look at my depressed #BipolarDisorder episodes as hopeless like I used to. They are more manageable because I changed my outlook. I am not saying that it doesn't get to me some days, some days are harder than others. But I manage to remain thankful. Also lifestyle and diet changes help a lot. Lemon water is a natural mood booster and ever since I've been drinking it I've been happier. Not like mania happy but just happy in general. I highly suggest drinking lemon water if you want to get healthy or to experience its mental health benefits. Having coping strategies also helps. I use writing as my main outlet (as you can see) but for some people it may be something else. Especially with having #PTSD it's important to have a go to coping mechanism. But even when my #PTSD isn't acting up I use writing as a way to unwind. I'm not sure what I use for #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder but I suppose that because it has a lot to do with self-perception that I can start on that. So as you can see, all these factors help to get me through. Today I am thankful for the ability to share my journey with others. What has helped you to cope?

    #BipolarDisorder #Depression #PTSD #Abuse #abusesurvivor #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #thankful #Blessed #Hope #Inspiration #Striving #thriving #strength #Writing #coping #Lifestlye

    19 reactions 8 comments