7

So I’ve noticed those with CPTSD and PTSD often report similar experiences. I hadn’t realized how typical my own were until I read others stories. So I thought I’d make a list of common shared experiences in those with PTSD/CPTSD…

#1 Your abusers and told you the abuse was normal and everyone does it ergo you’re being dramatic.

#2 You blamed yourself without even realizing it. Let’s face it we don’t walk away thinking it’s our fault clear as day. That’s illogical. But we walk away with doubts that eventually dig into our heads while we’re not even paying attention. The next thing we know we think we’re inherently bad and deserving of being treated as such.

#3 You switch back and forth from having sympathy for you’re abuser to believing they’re evil incarnate.

#4 You wonder if you’re too damaged to think for yourself. If you don’t have experience in what’s right then can you know what’s wrong?

#5 You avoid watching any movies or tv shows with extremely painful emotional expressions yet are strangely drawn to them.

#6 You wake up feeling panic and/or anxiety and expecting something terrible to happen to you every day.

#7 You struggle to set necessary boundaries with others because you worry they’ll reject you. Perhaps you feel you’re not worthy of boundaries.

#8 You don’t trust anyone and struggle with emotional intimacy. Perhaps you feel scared everyone is going to hurt you.

#9 You have chronic migraines, irritable bowels, and/or body aches all the time.

#10 You need to be in control of everything at all times so you know what’s up. Even things that to others seems inconsequential.

#PTSD #CPTSD #Trauma #Abuse

Well, I'm new here and look forward to exploring and getting connected into this seemingly helpful Mental Health platform. But I do have to go to bed.

I really need to buy an alarm clock so I don't stay up all night on my phone. Usually I use my phone as my alarm clock, but its too much of a hinderance to me right now. On the nights that I don't want to go to sleep (and can't really pinpoint why) I usually end up on my phone all night and don't get to sleep until late. The latest I've stayed up thus far this past week is 3am, but I'm hoping getting an alarm clock and keeping my phone in the other room will help.

Its just a matter of buying the alarm clock. Which I haven't gotten to do. There's actually a lot of things I've needed to do that I haven't. I plan on working on all of that tomorrow though. Here's what tomorrow's goals look like for me: (as you'll see I worked in some "playtime" and self care stuff into my schedule. Because if I wake up without a plan I end doing nothing. Thats exactly what happened today (Sunday). I woke up, had breakfast, went back to bed and slept til 4pm. My ex wanted to play fortnite around 4. And that is literally the only reason I got out of bed today. If he hadn't wanted to play fortnite I don't think I would have ever gotten up today. Struggling living alone. Its been my reality since August. But anyways, here's tomorrow's plan:

1) Wake up (sleep in as long as you want, but get up before you feel the draw to stay in bed all day)

2) Have breakfast

3) Medicine

4) Brush teeth

5) Unpack all of the food that is on the kitchen table.

6) put a cloth on the table and start a puzzle.

7) If you get tired of puzzle and feel up to it do the dishes, Other option besides dishes is put some clothes away (at least 2 out of 6 baskets), or take a shower (but must do at least 1)

8) If you haven't taken a shower than take one now (after 7)

9) by the time your done showering it might be lunch time (my least favorite time of the day/lunch and dinner). Not only am I used to my ex cooking because when we were in a relationship he wanted to be in charge of that, but I'm also lactose intolerant and have issues with eggs. So my relationship with food is rather complicated right now.

10) pick 1 of the options you didn't do in 7 and do that now.

11) go back to puzzle or read new book

12) When you get tired of that then do the last thing on the #7 list.

13) Reward yourself for a productive and fun activity filled day, but not sure how yet.

Following is the list of the ten things out of many more which my special needs little boy taught me, its been three and half years that hes no longer with me,but still continues to teach me about resilience, hope,miracles and strength. #1 . MIRACLES HAPPEN: I started believing in miracles ,coz I got to see them quite often, the developmentally delayed hypotonic child who couldn't raise his neck at ten months became the wonder boy who would be jumping up and about. #2 . YOUR CHILD BECOMES YOUR BIGGEST STRENGTH: My son showed me courage like a warrior I never knew he could be,he taught me to over power week emotions,made me rational, more logical, made me aware of my inner strength, the harder it got the tougher I became. #3 : BE KIND:One of the best things he taught me was to Always Be Kind, at times he was laughed upon, made fun of, but he would always respond with a smile and would often say Sorry,I've learnt to say Sorry and Thankyou, sometimes a bit too much. #4 :STUBBORNNESS BECOMES YOUR FINE TRAIT :When you are living with a medically complexed child ,and you have all the other issues to deal with also,Stubbornness comes from within, you need to be head strong and stubborn. #5 : YOUR INSTINCT IS ALWAYS CORRECT: Even if it's a teeny tiny gut feeling Go for it,theres something super powerful about a Mothers instinct, even if the labs or scans tell differently, follow your gut instinct, it comes from the heart. #6 . YOU DONT PANIC ANYMORE: Even though the stormy waves will be gushing to and fro in your life,you learn to remain calm,not panic ,take charge, amidst , my sons dangerous seizures, with constant falls,cuts and stitches,I discovered the New Calm Me. #7 :YOU LEARN EVERY DAY HOW TO BE A BETTER MOM:Learning becomes apart of you,no matter how learned you are, your child gets to become your biggest teacher,you learn the lessons of patience, strength and unconditional love, your child will make you the advocate, you always wanted to meet. #8 :YOU WILL BE MAKING EXTRA ORDINARY NEW BEST FRIENDS:Along the journey of raising my little boy, I met similar and stronger moms,who continue to inspire me till date with their strength, wit and hope. #9 :YOU'VE GOT THIS: No matter what the world,or Google,or doctors or therapists tell you, You've always got this, You become your biggest support,every time you get knocked down,you'll stand up stronger than before. #10 . ACCEPT and LET GO: sometimes ,comes a point when the journey is also about braving through the most painful moment,After all the storms you've sailed through, you also learn to surrender, to the will of Al Mighty, You surrender and you let go, only for the memories to give you new strength.

7.
Q: 1 out of every 1,000 U.S. citizens are estimated to have Morgellons disease based on scientific reports? That means there are a lot of people with this disease. It sounds like the CDC employees are asleep at the wheel, or worse! If only 6% of Lyme disease patients have Morgellons disease then that means there are A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE U.S. WITH LYME DISEASE!
A. If you think that is alarming, consider that scientists studying this disease have officially reported that each year there are approximately 20,000 newly infected patients with Morgellons disease in the U.S. alone. Now consider that this disease is incurable and patients will either commit suicide, be drugged against their will for being told they have no disease at all, or they will isolate themselves and live the rest of their lives on a downward spiral of physical torment, misery, agony, pain, depression suffering with Chronic Lyme disease and never getting the medical treatment they require.