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Meditation through the Madness #Depression #Anxiety #codependacy #Stroke #Meditation #Yoga

After 20 years of suffering from depression and anxiety I was admitted into an in-patient mental health hospital. During that time I practiced yoga and meditation and it helped me cope.
At 52 I had a stroke. It left me without the ability to speak. I felt that my life was over. I had thought that before, but this time I was completely hopeless.
During the pandemic I got back into yoga and meditation again. The calm that it has given me is incredible! My faith is restored! I know that I can survive!


Abandonment Issues?

Do any of you have any tips on how to be less clingy in a relationship? I’m extremely apathetic so it’s hard when people just say for me to “join a fun group, do a hobby, do something for you” because I feel like all of that is boring and pointless unless I’m doing it next to my bf. I miss him all the time and I can’t stand to be away from him for more than a day. It’s making the relationship really fragile and I’m afraid I’ve already pushed him away. We’re taking a long weekend off of no contact. #Relationships #FearOfAbandonment #Depression #clingy #Stress #codependacy


A life changer that I had no clue of

#Anxiety #codependacy #hypervigile #Depression #ididn 'tknow. I was living my life like I was normal. I minimilized everything including molestation, gang rape, neglect, sick parents and so much more. I didn't think that I was abnormal and thought it was not a big deal until I couldn't ignore it. All this had a profound effect on my body. I used to have anxiety attacks for no reason, lost hair, my feet were always blue and so much more that I actually thought was normal. I poured blood from my rectum and didn't sleep naturally for over 36 years. I had nerve pain and my whole body hit the wall but I blamed it on cervical bone spurs and general pain. My daughter made me go to a rheumatologist because my Ana was positive and she was also worried about my mental health but I had no clue what she was talking about. When I went to the Dr reluctantly he looked at my feet and asked if my feet were always blue, they were blue and numb and I was embarrassed. These were my feet always. He told me that I have autonomic nervous system disfunction caused by autoimmune or trauma. I was so upset and he took blood. He asked if I ever heard of low dose naltrexone and I haven't. I never even heard of my diagnosis let alone this unknown compound medication or that you can ever get something physical from what I thought was nothing and normal. After that visit my world changed considerably. My feet started changing colors, my vision was different, I started feeling a sense of self that I didn't know I never had. All my pain went away and so much more that was crazy. Nobody told me that I had ckd but I couldn't drink or eat like how normal people do. I went to the bathroom without laxatives. I can go on and on but I actually slept on my own. I didn't have autoimmune disease. All this was from a life time of trauma and I didn't realize that my life was abnormal. I don't even shake or have bad reactions anymore. If I wasn't prescribed this unknown compound medication I would have lived my life but I think my brain would have died just like my father. I'm so greatful beyond words

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I can't even look at myself anymore

I saw this quote and I thought it's so real. I can't even stand to look at photos of me from just a couple of months ago. I can't even take anymore photos either. I use to be this person who was always dressed perfectly, who had their makeup and hair done great. Someone who was pretty but now I just don't care. I don't know who I am #Depression #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #codependacy #abandonment


I fucken hate this!!!

I hate this.. I hate that my #codependacy and losing my FP has caused me to become like this. To cry every night, to be so unstable. To become a drug addicted #Insomniac!!!! I hate that I still love them despite the hurt. I hate that I still want them and need them... I fucken hate all of it!!! #Depression #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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Abandonment #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Breakups

when you have a terrible fight with your boyfriend, and you have reached out apologizing and haven’t heard a single word in 10 days...How do we as borderlines not see this as abandonment as opposed to someone maybe just shut down and not wanting to talk? I am struggling with this so much. i have this extreme desire to fix everything even though what happened was incredible verbal abuse towards me, but my emotions about what he must be going through are outweighing my own feelings. is this #codependacy ?! how do I let this go and be okay with the fact he won’t even respond to a simple text or email? most healthy people would look at this as not healthy and let it go and move on and heal, but I am so stuck in this. Any insight would be helpful. #struggling



#Relationships #BPD

has anyone been in an relationship for 9 years only to realize it may not be going anywhere? I feel like this is me and its it's getting harder for us to figure out where its it's going. my boyfriend is currently 2000 miles away training for work and it seems okay for him to not make a call or send a message because hes too busy. the reason this is because I've made the happiness in my life based on the happiness of my relationship. I think I've always known this is not what a relationship is supposed to be. I shouldn't have to wait for someone to tell me that were not moving in together or building something until his career is in order. 9 whole Years we are not married, dont have kids, dont live together and iin 3 more years we will both be in our 30s. he doesnt spend time with me at my house and he made it very clear he never wants us to get married. he said we will have kids when he is ready and that wont be anytime soon. idk what to do and it hurts me to see what options I will have to take. how would someone struggling with BPD approach this? I wish I could say DBT is helping me but it just started and there is so much work to do.

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You can do anything!

Just in case no one has told you this today!

Take time to tell yourself how amazingly capable you are.

#Confidence #Anxiety #Depression #toxicworkenvironment #Hostileworkenvironment #codependacy #loveyourself


#how to deal with abusive #Christian # parents # who don't take responsibility #

#just learnt I have complex PTSD#Bipolar #eating disorder#codependacy issues # 44# the abuse occurred by family and friends# pedophiles# whom my dad felt sorry for##mum didn't know how to deal# due warped worldview #