mum

My mother is the only person who cares about me and I treat her very badly. My mum is always pushing me to do better. Make friends and socialise, get a new job and make more money, get a new car, clean the house up and get a girl friend.

I don't know if my mum realises how miserable and sad I am. I blame my mother for all my problems and she blames herself. She is literally the only person who calls me to see how I am and I push her away swearing at her and threatening her. I think she called me "by accident" after our conversation crying and said it was a mistake. I should feel terrible about the way I speak to my mother but somehow it relieves me of a lot of my troubles.

I am putting all my issues on my mother and causing her significant stress. I don't know how she feels because its all about me. Everything is about me and my troubles. I feel bad about how I speak to her but I think it is more about pushing her away and completely isolating myself. Once I am completely isolated is when I really consider whether my life is worth living. Fortunately or unfortunately, (depends on which way you want to look at it) she will never let that happen.

She will call again tomorrow, sometimes I wish she would let me be but I would be no better off. I love my mother more than anything and she knows that. I got clean and straightened my life out for my family with my mums support. No matter how much trouble I caused her she was always there for me. I feel bad treating her so poorly but she brings the worst out in me.

I hope my mum doesn't feel like she has failed as a mother. I think she feels bad because I am not happy, hurting and suffering.

I think she just wants me to be happy. She is not stupid and can see that I am miserable and hates seeing me this way.

#mum #motherslove #NeverGiveUp #Support #alwaysthere #reallove #Family #Truelove #Care #caring #Love #chillout #calmdown #emotional #respectful #Myfault #ownership #notherfault #mystory #Decisions #onlylove #imwrong #help #sheltered #supportive #EverythingWillBeOkay #Hope

I have been dealing with depression since I was 18 and anxiety/panic attacks since 2017,
I've recently had a lot of physical problems since 2018 and it is still an ongoing investigation,
so far I have been diagnosed with osteopenia, which has led to early stages of osteoporosis.
I'm 29, married with 1 child and have a support cat.
After recently attending a course in digital marketing I decided to create my own website called Me A Blog And I, where I write about my experiences with mental health and physical health. It seems to be a good outlet for me and then I found the mighty. #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Blog #website #Blogging #ME #PanicAttacks #Health #mum #married

ok mums or parents, do you ever drive with your kids in the car and have this outer body feeling like wow I’m a parent, these kids are mine, or hear them at home doing things and stop and pinch yourself wow how did I get here, these kids, people, humans, my responsibility, when did I become so grown up(44) I can’t do it but some how I do. i wake up for them. #Depression #mum #Mumguilt #insane

I’ve always had a funny relationship with my mum...
if I done something my mum didn’t approve or didn’t agree with me on, she would make me feel guilty for it and sometimes for days..
As the years have went on my anxiety towards my mum has gotten worse to the point where I don’t want to tell her what I’m doing or my plans... it was not so long ago that she fell out with me majorly over concert tickets...
now that I’m getting married I feel like I’m not going to get a say in my wedding and what I want.
I wanted to go to a wedding dress shop just to look at wedding dresses with a friend and when I said, she went mental... never seem to do anything right sometimes. I’m not even comfortable about going dress shopping. The more I think about it the less I want to do it 😞 # #help #gettingmarried #mother #mum #Anxiety

Corrupted emotions kill more than war, more than murder more than natural dissasters. Bad emotions cause diseases like obesity, respiratory complications through smoking and drugs.

Looking at pseudo code bellow you can see how simple life could be, but how a simple mistake can be amplified over time and have huge impact later.

Function Life{
StartLife;
IdealLove=YourChildHoodExperience;
GrowingPhase{
LearnToLoveYourSelf(
Is SelfLove causing LoveFromOthers to change? adjust Self-love)
LearnToLoveOthers(
Is LoveFromOthers different from LoveForOthers? adjust LoveForOthers)
CompareLove(
Is IdealLove different from the average
of SocietysDefintionOfLove? adjust
IdealLove)
Repeat GrowingPhase.

Thats how potentially serial killers, suicide bombers and the like are formed by small little steps, corrupted beliefs. Every now and then a brain injury or radicalisation after a perceived life changing event will have a similar effect.