Concerned

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I am scared as hell about someone. Had a dream about them a couple nights ago that they had a medical emergency and didn't make it. Then I realize they have been MIA for a week. Reached out but no acknowledgement which is unusual. I am crying. Been praying like hell. Trying to trust God. There's a song that came to mind and am striving to do this even though it is so hard to do.

Even when the fight seems lost
I'll praise You
Even when it hurts like hell
I'll praise You

Even When It Hurts - Hillsong #TheMighty #MightyTogether #scared #Worried #Concerned #Heartbroken #Fear #Crying #FearOfAbandonment #trigger #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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#depressio #Anxiety #fml #alone everyone's rock, no shoulder to lean on

Tired of existing, kinda weird how life works, if its all perspective why is mine so messed up and will i ever see things differently or find pleasure in things I used to like?... #Concerned

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A Mix of Emotions

Dear Friend,

I am concerned about tomorrow. It's going into week 2 of my return to work after being on medical leave since January. I have not been feeling the best about some most recent news about requests for time off. I pretty much was told "fat chance" of me having off the week of my anniversary at the end of November, all because it's the week of Thanksgiving and Black Friday. Theme parks are rough around the holidays, and do not always make you feel good. Instead it can be depressing to have to miss out on time with family... Especially when your family is aging.

I also had some problems with my schedule being all over the place, so my therapy appointment yesterday gave me a note that says I need to have morning shifts so I can sleep at night. I also ran into the problem of my schedule being messed up for week 3. They messed up my normal days off of Monday and Tuesday by scheduling me on Monday and giving my days off as Tuesday and Wednesday. It was alarming. I wish that I could feel better right now.. but I have 2 schedule problems to fix.
1.) Getting morning shifts.
2.) Making sure my days off are not messes up.

I hate how theme park life is brutal some days. It drains me physically these days. Week 1 was busy, and very time consuming. It's time consuming more than I wish it was. I live an hour away from work and it takes me almost an hour to get checked in past security and past our wardrobe building and over to the front of the park.

I need help. I need #Inspiration .
#Work #emotional #tired #exhausted #Concerned #tryingtobepositive #Trying

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Could going to therapy be used against you in the future?

I was recently diagnosed with anxiety/depression and it’s frightening to me. I’ve been trying to find all the help I need but am also afraid it will make me worse. On Tuesday I beginwith therapy and I can’t help to think that someone can use that against me in the future. For example if I have a child or a pet and someone else wants custody, could they use the fact that I go to therapy against me? #Concerned #Anxiety #Depression

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#Concerned

#Have appointment with my doctor, will wear two paper masks, will have blood and trine tested....how dangerous will it be in doctor’s office (my immunity is poor)...?

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I'm so worried #COVID19 #Concerned

I'm on Humira for almost a year now and I've been on immunosuppressants for like 3 years. Every time I turn on the TV, all I see is how I'm at greater risk than everyone at my age and I'm so sick of it. It makes me really worried and sad. #Worriedaboutfuture #COVID19

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Am I being a bad friend??

I’m going through a depressive episode at the moment (I have MDD and GAD, which makes it so difficult) and I don’t want my best friend to feel responsible for my happiness. I texted her last night that I was experiencing this but I kind of left her hanging with that. I went into no more detail about anything.
Today at school I was extremely gloomy and tired, as most of my episodes go, and I tried my best to stay somewhat happy for her.
I feel like I’m pushing her away, but I also feel like I need to. I love so much her as my best friend and she means so much to me; so much to me that I don’t want her to feel obligated to help me or being concerned for me. Since we’re best friends she definitely knows about my past with suicidal thoughts and I know she’s concerned, but she shouldn’t be. She already has so much going on right now with her boyfriend and college applications that I don’t want to be a burden to her.
I feel like a terrible friend too. We both have no fourth period and that’s when she confronted me and I dismissed her again and she was clearly upset, and walked away, so I texted her and decided to leave school. On the way out I saw her and she tried to get me to sit down and talk but I refused and decided to leave. I can tell she’s concerned for me but I don’t want her to be. I’m being over dramatic about a lot of things right now and she shouldn’t be worried when she has her own responsibilities.
I also don’t like talking about my feelings a lot and I bottle them up too much, which is another reason she’s kind of concerned and why I don’t want to talk. Am I being a bad friend??
#Friendship #Depression #Anxiety #Burden #Concerned

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