cpstd

Eek. Most of the time I'm battling my mind with depression. And am too sfraid to be friendly. However yesterday I spoke to a stranger. I think it's because I took courage from the opportunity in front of me. I like meeting new people. But I am different. I am complicated. So I often get misunderstood. That puts me off being friendly with people as I've had so many relationships go wrong. I am trying to grow and be more empathetic. I've been very selfish even childish recently. How do you navigate friendship with yourself? I guess I'm just sounding out my thoughts even I think it's time and effort.
#Anxiety #Depression #cpstd

My husband has just learned that his mother died back in 2015 from an OD.
He hasn't seen her since he was 6 (he is 31). She abused him in almost every way, and was addicted to meth.
There were times when she actually tried to be a mother through, like watching Twilight Zone with him and one time picking him up from school and going to get ice cream.
He hated her guts for the last 25 years and now is being smacked with all these unknown emotions and greiving her/his lost childhood, which he wasnt expecting to.
He is wondering what other people think and how you may have felt or what you may have done if this was you.

My ex and I broke up about 4 years ago now, that’s a long time. I’ve worked very hard to rebuild everything he broke, and I can genuinely say my mental health is starting to improve. However, today, something so simple - I found out he was accepted into his dream school across the world into a program I know he’d love. Sounds great, right?

I’m sitting here furious and on the edge of a mental breakdown because that same guy sexually and emotionally abused me for the entirety of our relationship (2 years), and nobody knew about it. People still don’t know about it, and I’ve only just started coming forward with minor details 4 years later. I don’t understand why that simple detail of knowing something good happened to him makes me so angry and resurfaces every negative emotion I’ve ever had for him - and the worst part is is that I thought those feelings were gone and that I had dealt with him.

I’m sitting here thinking about all of the things I wish I could have said and wish I could have done differently. I hate everything that he put me through and to this day I’m unable to get into a serious relationship because I’m terrified of the same thing happening to me again. I’m so mad knowing he is moving on and I’m still stuck with all of the scars he left.

Has anyone else felt this way, specifically regarding an abuser? I have no idea how to get past those emotions... I don’t want to feel stuck anymore. Could really use some support right now 😞.

#cpstd #PTSD #Abuse #SexualAbuse #MeToo #Anxiety #angry #MentalHealth #help #Support

Today I was sitting outside just watching trains go by and in a split second, I was having flashbacks of my mother abusing me. I "came back" and started to shake and cry. "How could she do that to me?!" I screamed inside. "How?!"
I am scared I will fall down to where I used to be:. Full blown psychosis. I hope I don't, but it worries me.

A few years ago on a morning radio talk show a question was posed to host or the radio show along with co-host. That question changed my life forever.
A simple “would you rather? Spend a lifetime in a committed relationship being content? Or Enter a relationship with the person made for you but only to have it last a year, then never see them again?
It’s funny that everyone who was asked that question including myself opted for the chance to be with the one who was made for you.
I’d like to ask a follow up question. What would you give up in order to have that chance? Would you take the risk not knowing they even existed??