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I'm struggling with #Rage inside. I'm angry because I have been cheating death for years. I've been #Fightingformylife because my dad, mom, kids, and sisters all swore they would always be here. I'm alone and the only support I have is one sister who CAN'T leave her house because of her #MentalHealth and a mother who is SUCH an emotionally abusive, lying, manipulator that TODAY was the last straw. Yesterday she fed me a story about how she has hidden the fact that she has been battling leukemia for a year now. Long story short is I was handed her blood work to give to her (family doc) and she looks AMAZING, which is great but ALSO not. What kind of MOTHER lies to the daughter who is battling leukemia, and says SHE has it? #wtaf #HowDoIhandleThis #ICanteventrustmytherapist #BPD #PTSD #Bipolar2Disorder #MurderSurvivor #MeToo
Fightingformylife
"You're not failing. You're fighting."
Something my counselor said to me today. Just thought someone else might need to hear it and wanted to pass it on. ❤️
#MightyTogether #MentalHealth #Fightingformylife #YouCanDoIt
#CheckInWithMe It has been a horrible day 😭
A few hours ago i heard some devastating news that had me have a full blown panic attack and #suicidal in less than three hours of the event. I 've been suicidal in most of my life already. But today i feel extremely foggy and like i 've lost my mind. I can't keep doing this anymore. The news i received made me feel to blame for a decision i made that turned out terribly. It is a lot to handle and i am wondering how can i go through this alone. I feel like i deserve to die for making this decision and i wish i could turn back time. But i can't. 💔
I could try and set an appointment with my therapist but i feel like she will disregard my feelings and won't understand. I don't know what to do. 😭 I am lost in my thoughts and i feel like i can't recover from this, like this is the end. I know i don't deserve it but i need someone to be here and hold my hand and tell me that everything is going to be alright. I 've been deprived of this for a very long time. I cannot fight alone anymore. How can a person survive mental illness with no support system?
I do not know what to do. It seems like a dead end. I feel i cannot handle my emotions or even collect my thoughts.
#Selfblame #Loneliness #BPD #intenseemotions #DepressiveEpisode #wrongDecisions #Selfharm #chronicsuicidalideation #suicidal #Fightingformylife for a very long time...
love yourself
lately I cant decide what to do with myself I'm having bad thoughts then good thoughts i have the drive to rebuild for the millionth time but i am so exhausted at the same time. I'm losing everything then I gain it but this time I'm lost in an addiction that is taking me and I dont know how to control it... #AddictionRecovery #3days clean #Fightingformylife #fightingfformybabies
Everyone struggles
You’re not alone if
you feel like everything is falling apart
You’re not alone if
no one seems to care about how you feel
You’re not alone if
depression is kicking your ass today
You’re not alone if
you can’t get out of bed today
You’re not alone in this chaotic ride humans call life
You’re not alone because I’m always here for you
CPTSD
Haven’t felt this way in a long time.... I went through EMDR and it definitely helped a lot but then I was around him! Now I’m back to jumping out to my skin hands shaking uncontrollably nightmares and flashbacks and constant panic. I yelled at my daughter for scaring me which totally wasn’t her fault but I didn’t expect anyone to walk up behind me and it made me feel even worse that I had gotten scared and raised my voice. #Fightingformylife #CPTSD #Nightmares
#strong #Fightingformylife
Sometimes the best feeling happens at the worst time. When your stressed, depressed and afraid to think, but you are still able to stand up and say “I will not tolerate this.”
#Fightingformylife #ChronicIllness #Depression #PTSDfromAbuse #Fibromyalgia #EDS #Insomnia
I’m so tired of fighting for my life, I get up every single day and I fight. I fight the depression so I can get out of bed, I fight the PTSD so that I can get a shower. I fight so that maybe I have the strength to make it through today’s 3 doctor appointments. I fight the pain and the fatigue which each step I take., With each move I make. And when it’s time for bed, I fight the insomnia,. It’s all I do.
